By David Glenn Cox
I was brushing my teeth with a new toothpaste. It’s called Crest Brilliance, but I didn’t notice the name when I bought it. So, I’m brushing my teeth when I see the Brillance label and my first thought was, “Not available in Republican markets” and I almost swallowed my toothbrush. White trash Ken and mustard stain Barbie (If I knew you were coming, I’d have dressed better) Famous for striking a Rambo pose with weapons pointed at unarmed non-violent protestors have paid a fine and had their guns taken away. Not all of them, Just the one’s used in the crime. Come on, let’s be reasonable here. Why would you take all their guns away when they only acted crazy just the once? “Quick Karen, Hand me another weapon from the armaments locker!”
These two are attorneys who should have known the law. You gotta wonder, Miller time? Jack & Coke? Half-gallon bottles of Smirnoff rings on the kitchen counter? The joy Capitalist prosperity brings buying hard liquor in half gallon bottles and Vodka that really comes from Russia. The racism is real enough, but five or six good stiff drinks and a few hours of Faux News and what do you expect? Not unlike the Stanford Experiment, cause and effect. You’d get the same results every time. If you chose 100 drunken rednecks at random at least, 95 would appear on the lawn with an assault rifle. Five would be either too drunk or passed out on the couch with a drink in their hand and a football game blaring to notice people on the lawn.
In their defense this was St. Louis, the Beirut of the Midwest. I asked the desk clerk at the hotel where a good meal could be found. His face grew gaunt and pale, and he whispered for me to come closer. “If you step out that front door, you are a potential crime victim. Don’t go anyplace alone, even the restroom. Travel in large groups and have a hostage negotiator on standby call sign St. Louie Blues. If it were me, I’d just go back to my room and eat crackers out of the vending machine.” What about the famous St. Louis arch? “Oh god no! Stay away from the arch at all times!” I don’t know how bad the crime actually was, what with liability laws. But the locals were convinced, and I have learned never to argue with the natives on such matters.
The Governor of the state and proud owner of the largest burning used tire fire in Southwest Missouri, Homer Noodleman. (name redacted for brevity) Said that if the couple were convicted on the more serious Federal weapons charges, he (The governor of the state) would pardon them. Two questions, is it okay to commit crimes in Missouri if the governor agrees? (Well, they was colored folks on their front lawn! For God sakes.) Question two, can a state governor pardon you for Federal weapons charges? I don’t think so. “The great state of Tennessee today hereby issues a full pardon to John Wilkes Booth. For the unfortunate firearms incident at Ford’s theater but will still confiscate the weapon.”
Woody Guthrie said, he never saw a rich man who didn’t think somebody was stealing from him. The fear sets in. The monkey has captured the biggest bunch of bananas but now fears theft. Certain that everyone wants his bananas, he buys a gun and puts bars on the window and doors. 55,40 86 proof or fight. The racism plays a part in it like the orange juice in a screwdriver, but the vodka has the kick. “They’re after my big screen television and secret Nazi knife collection.” And on the other side it don’t say nothing, that side was made for you and me. And what did the Czar do when the peasants revolted? How did young Napoleon make his name when Parisians rioted? Shoot first ask questions later. They are endangering property.
Republicanism explained in two words, property rights. Taxation is theft because it violates my property rights. We want smaller government, easier and cheaper to buy and less likely to try and raise my property taxes. “You’re damn right we’re going to war, take my slaves, I mean my property.” Republicans are out to fight Socialism and Abortion and voters rights. They’re out to fight the infrastructure package. They’re angry the Capitol Police didn’t let the mob kill them on January 6th. They are against everything and only for themselves, but quickly signed on to the Juneteenth Legislation. As a photo Op of the year not to be missed under any circumstances. Meanwhile in the Reich Wing blogosphere, they take a different view.
Divisive, causing hard feelings. And besides what will it mean in twenty years? Just another day I have to pay you for when you don’t work. The Reich wing is certain this will end badly. Not being a Christian myself I can see the caustic effects Easter has had on society. A national holiday for Christmas imposed on millions of non-Christians. And after two thousand years what does it mean really? “I wanted to go bowling that day, but no!” All because a Jewish guy was lawfully executed by a monarch of his peers.
When the slaves were freed, they wandered the roads not knowing the difference between a mile and a millimeter. Illiterate without maps, a runaway slave was told all he had to do was cross Lake Erie and he would be free. You can only imagine his disappointment seeing the lake for the first time. They sought out their husbands, wives, and children vainly. Lost property in America. Vote greed or vote people. I have enough room in my heart for Saint Patrick’s Day and Groundhog Day and President’s Day. To have enough room in my heart for Juneteenth. The Jews have celebrated their release from bondage for thousands of years, but what does it mean really? What does Property versus Property rights actually mean? Why not ask someone who was once property.
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