By David Glenn Cox
In the Mel Brooks comedy, “The Producers,” the characters discovered that as long as the Broadway show closed right away. None of the show’s investors will ask for their money back. If the show is a success, then they would have to repay the investors. They found the worst show they could find and called it the Arizona Vote Recount. Their idea was to throw doubt on voting returns already counted twice and certified by the state. Supporting Twump’s big lie, Republicans bought in without realizing there was no third act. They just sing “Springtime for Hitler” over and over.
Cyber Ninja’s, a company that has never managed a vote recount or forensic investigation before. Discovered that well-heeled big dumb Republican bastards would continue writing them checks if they continued to look busy for the TV cameras. They did what any good for profit company would do, they slowed down. But like “The Producers” the play must close quickly before people start asking questions.
Questions about violations of state and Federal Law. What once seemed like a wonderful golden idea for Arizona Republicans has turned into the house guest that wouldn’t leave. After many months of investigation, misappropriation of ballots and machines. The state will be replacing all of Arizona’s voting equipment at taxpayer expense. They were just supposed to get on and get off, instead they just keep juggling and telling jokes.
Who is paying for all this? We don’t know. Who is watching the watchers? We don’t know. But now the story line has gotten weak. What are we doing here again? The Twump lie is fading, Twump is fading, but the Arizona recount goes on and fucking on. The Arizona Republicans stand on the cusp of howling humiliating laughter. If they announce they found no flaw in the vote count their skies will turn dark. If they announce gross disparities in the vote count, they face public humiliation and an invasion of legal scrutiny. If you claim widespread voter irregularities, you will be asked to prove your work…in court.
This is why Faux News, and the Republicans always have something new cooking on the stove. The Dr. Fauci attacks didn’t work, and facemask was invented by Joseph Stalin. And inoculations are a form of mind control invented by Bill Gates. If Joe Biden is elected, the economy will crash! Inflation will wipe out your savings. Your children will all become Transgenders and they’ll want to take down statues that have been a favorite location of pigeon defecation heritage for generations. (My daddy and Granddaddy watched pigeons shit on that statue.) They must create and must tell a new lie with a new scenario before someone notices their last apocalyptic predictions didn’t pan out. Republicans plan to propose ending the mask mandate on commercial aircraft. But only because it is the only mask mandate still in place, and it’s set to go away in September.
But by God this intrusion into American freedom must be stopped! A swing and a miss! The problem with trying to generate heat by rubbing sticks together is it must meet the everyday experience of your voting base. In rural Kentucky or Alabama, they haven’t been to the airport in twenty years and probably have never been on an airplane. (The mandate bothers Congressman who fly not yokels who drink.) This is what doomed the Republican campaign against Gay people. Too many American families had Gay members whom they loved very much to be incited to hate by Republican propaganda. They were going to indoctrinate your children and destroy traditional marriage! They have it all planned out! There are Communists in the State Department and 5G will make all the birds fly backwards!
Mitch McConnell throws up his hands and has no idea why Kentuckians fail to get inoculated. It is like that map we’ve all seen of the South, education vs. welfare recipients. You can now use the same map for Covid inoculations. Vermont has an 82% inoculation rate and pulling the caboose of the train, West Virgina, Georgia, Mississippi, and Alabama. Anyone surprised?
States currently considered Covid Hot Spots with the most active cases, Mississippi, Alabama, Oklahoma, Kansas, and Arizona. What do all these states have in common? They all have Republican Governors, and I can go on. Utah, Wyoming, Arkansas, Missouri and let’s not forget Florida, always Florida. The Covid map now closely resembles the electoral map and your chances of getting sick depends mainly on the letter behind your governor’s name. “How are the Covid cases looking today?” Republican, very Republican.
The greatest example since Richard Nixon of why Republicanism is for the less than lucid. They said the masks wouldn’t work. They did. They said mask mandates were an intrusion into your freedom. No, the illness was an intrusion of your freedom mask mandates were simply fighting back. But fresh to you everyday is a steaming hot pile of Faux News. Joe Biden proposes going door to door to do Covid inoculations. Faux News loses its shit. Widdle Tucker Carlson (The fly who thought he could boy) called it, “I honestly think it’s the greatest scandal in my lifetime, by far. I thought the Iraq War was; it seems much bigger than that.” At least the biggest Faux News Joe Biden scandal of this week and it is Saturday!
Proof the world is insane, Marjorie Taylor Greene called it, “medical Brown Shirts showing up at your door.” (Springtime for Hitler and Germany!) Colorado’s Lowrent Boebert called them “needle Nazis.” Nasty, terrible officials in leather coats and jackboots with night sticks and pistols asking people without transportation if they would like a shot. Rural people shut ins and shut outs.
There was a time when Republican’s offered alternative views rather than alternate realities. But when the shining lights of your Party are Mitch McConnell, Marge Greene and Lowrent Boebert you have nothing much to offer anyway, except maybe comic relief.
““I feel that the dormant goodwill in people needs to be stirred. People need to hear that it makes sense to behave decently or to help others, to place common interests above their own, to respect the elementary rules of human coexistence.”
― Vaclav Havel
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