By David Glenn Cox
In Inverto world failure is success. Win, place, show, Gaetz and Greene. We’ve lost our lease and passed the savings on to you! Fresh from their smash hit engagement on the sidewalk in front of a building in California where they had been bounced. Congress persons Gaetz and Greene attempt to save America one speechified speech on one sidewalk at a time. But when you go on the road, you can’t wear the pin stripes. You don’t know the town and more importantly, the towns don’t know you. If I were a Republican politician, I don’t how I’d feel about a couple of shiftless drifters coming to town and milking my cows.
For the first quarter of the year Margie from the land of opposable big toes, took in over three million dollars. Wildflowers always bloom in the spring and then fade in the heat of summer. The out-of-town crowds are hard to warm up and tight fisted with out-of-town crazies. It’s been that way ever since the mayor’s wife run off with that Evangelical tent preacher. Their message is clear, pointed, and focused, “We are out here to save America!” And America responds, “Not interested!” Their devious plan was to criss cross America like Bonnie & Clyde. Hitting the towns making with the speeches then grab a chicken dinner hitting the corners on two wheels and smoke getting out of town. But they’ve struck a disappointment, a dry hole. “Why are we staying at the Days Inn, what’s wrong with the Hyatt?”
They learned this trick from their daddy Fagan of orange, master criminal and forty-fifth chief executive of playing with himself. Money is the fuel that makes the little car go. Let the little people fill your tank, your bank and your stomach. There are videos on You Tube of all the hit TV shows from 1972 or 87 or 93. It’s a strange collection of nobodies who used to star in their own TV shows with a few people who went on to successful careers sprinkled in. Of all the powers on Earth, star power is in the shortest supply. Maybe Trump could shoot someone on fifth Avenue that doesn’t mean that you can! Just speechifying and putting on the Ray Bans doesn’t make you the cult leader. And if collections don’t pick up it’s the dreaded Motel 666 or go home.
Their idea was to save America while fleecing the sheep, but the sheep have steel wool, and the Mensa twins are losing money. They aren’t about to save America with their own money! Their tour began at The Villages, a retirement community and trampoline to God. It was a safe choice among the slow-moving elderly, easily amused by the youngsters putting on their little puppet show and lemonade stand. “I gave them five dollars for popcorn but didn’t get any!” The reviews were mixed, but the cash flow was positive. It has been all down hill from there. In venues where participants are free to leave the cash flow has been negative. And the more they talk the worse it Gaetz. WKRP now with more music and Les Nessman!
It begs the question of who is at fault, message, or messenger? If it’s the messengers, it’s just another failed sit-com with Pernell Roberts and Jimmy J.J. Walker. But if it is the message that isn’t selling, no amount of Debbie Boone Christmas specials or Celebrity Roasts can save them. The message has reached absolute zero as the Republican Governor of Alabama after fighting mask mandates and vaccine protocols. Publicly tells the people of the state, for the love of God get the shot! Facing a 300% increase in Covid cases, reality stings the face of the Republican base. Despite regular Trump booster shots, reality has pinned the Governor of Alabama to the mat and made her say “Uncle” out loud, “Uncle, get the shot! Uncle! ”
Even Trumpy is having trouble, his rally in Florida was rained on and usurped by a disrespectful building collapse and hasn’t gone back out on the road. Even Harry Potter has trouble with spells sometimes, and spells won’t last forever you know. You can only be new once, but you can be old forever. Health professionals willing to lose their jobs before taking the shot. Standing up for their integrity, but happily willing to give the shots to others all day long following the famous hypocritical oath. A Baptist preacher DJ moralizing about the evils of dancing between each song. The Covid map is looking like the electoral map. The fantasy world is being torn asunder by the assaults of reality. People will sleepwalk only so long before they wake up on the wrong side of the bed. (Remember Nickelback, Disco, and the Reagan Administration.)
Without the orange sun to blighten Republican skies. it remains dark and the messages are muddled. The Republicans have told their people, don’t wear a mask and don’t get the shot. It’s a personal choice, like wearing clothes in church or drunk driving. Focusing on the big lie, they have missed the big reality. Being a Republican is now the highest risk factor in determining whether you will die from Covid-19. Death is the ultimate voter suppression tactic. Even in business math class the figures begin to make sense. “The guy telling me not to get a shot is wrong! The guy telling me not to get the shot cut my unemployment. The guy telling me not to get the shot says they teach bad things at school. The guy telling me not to get the shot says elections can’t be trusted, the guy telling me not to get the shot, got the shot.”
Republican Fantasy squares off tonight with local favorite “Reality” in a winner take all bare-knuckle grudge match. Republican Fantasy has been on the rise in the last few years, but tonight the event shall be decided once and for all. Asked about their chances before the bout tonight, Republican Fantasy explained for twenty minutes about all the unfairness in the world towards Republican Fantasy. Insisting they would win but insinuating the judges were probably crooked and if they didn’t win would claim to have been cheated. The only way fantasy could not win is if the event wasn’t on the level in the first place. Asked for a reply, “Reality” replied calmly and plainly, “I don’t care what you say; I’m gonna kill you!”
So, let us not be blind to our differences–but let us also direct attention to our common interests and to the means by which those differences can be resolved. And if we cannot end now our differences, at least we can help make the world safe for diversity. For, in the final analysis, our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this small planet. We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our children’s future. And we are all mortal. – John F. Kennedy