By David Glenn Cox
I read it nearly every day, “Our Democracy is under Attack!” Our Democracy is not under attack. Our civilization is under attack, and our democracy is merely an appendage of our civilization. The difference between the radio isn’t working, and the car isn’t working. Like some sick twisted Disney fantasy, a slow-motion Steamboat Willie cartoon taking and leaving from the smorgasbord of reality. Don’t get a shot! Don’t wear a mask! You can die if you want to! Know your rights! Don’t let those Democrats push you around! Then with Covid numbers begin soaring like a vanity space program encourage everyone to get vaccinated. Then when told to put on a mask…back to square one.
It’s all Joe Biden’s fault says, Sarah Sanders candidate for governor and official book learner for the state of Arkansas. If Joe Biden hadn’t cast so much doubt about Twump and “his” miraculous vaccine. Folks would get vaccinated twice just because it was Twump’s. I began to hear a tune from long ago and far away echoing in the distance. Do you know who was in charge of embassy Security in Benghazi? Not Hillary Clinton, the Commandant of the Marines was in charge of embassy Security. Mrs. Clinton was Secretary of State, they didn’t call her at two AM over a broken pipe or a leaky roof. “What do you think we outta do Madam Secretary? Call a plumber or something?” Do you know who is in charge of Capitol security? Not Nancy Pelosi! She’s not in charge of the Fire Department, the National Guard or the bus lines.
The constant Republican reversion to fantasy with imagining cardboard cut outs of good guys and bad guys. A Texas politician was criticized for taking a campaign contribution from another Republican who once said unkind things about Donald Twump. “It’s unclean brother! And you are unclean and defiled because of it! Be gone from us! You and your heresy in the third person.” Mo Brooks the alleged Congressman from Huntsville (Rocket City scary) Alabama was being sued by Congressman Eric Swalwell over his role in the January 6th insurrection. Brooks being a right-thinking American did what any right-thinking American would do. He went into hiding; you can’t sue em if you can’t serve them! Brooks didn’t show up for work or answer the door for several weeks before his wife slipped up…”Candygram!”
That is the Brooks defense (So you know he’s innocent) I’ll hide under the trailer until they forget. Once served twice shy, Brooks decries his innocence while admitting he was wearing body armor on January 6th. “You never know, those Amish can be pretty rough in a scuffle. The Republicans present to America, the Grand Illusion. Watch as David Copperfield makes the intelligence of an entire nation…just disappear! Doctors, “What do they know? Scientists, “What do they know?” Your own lying eyes, “well, Twump did said they were patriots! So, it must be okay.” I guess all the trouble all began when the cotton candy came in direct contact with an unwrapped corndog.
Point blank, this is all they have left in the arsenal. The last line of panzers before Berlin. It’s this or get back under the trailer. After a day of testimony by Capitol Police, Republican crickets. But it’s like a Columbo Mystery, there is always that one more thing. “Did you happen to speak to the President on January 6th?” Who? The sixth? I’ll have to check my calendar. Look, I’m not on trial here. (yet) I’m not going to be a part of your politically motivated witch hunt asking who I spoke to on the telephone. We ah, we discussed ah, football! Yeah, the President is ah, a big ah fan of ah, football. That team from New York…The Dodgers!
They have no defense whatsoever except for pixie dust and a lot of imagination. When the subpoenas come and come, the will, space under the trailer will become limited. Call now, for the best seating reservations. No one knows for whom the bell tolls except it tolls for thee, Gym Jordan, Mo Brooks, Josh Hawley, Mitch McConnell and Donald Twump. Very similar to a Looney Tunes cartoon, Slyvester the cat trying to strangle Tweety Bird while trying to convince grandma as played by the American people, they’re just patting Tweety on the head. (Bad Putty tat!)
The Republican’s devise a simple plan, the same plan they always concoct when confronted by the wheels of Justice. Throw sand in the gears and make plans now to spend a lot more time with those relatives and family members that they’ve been meaning to catch up with. “I’m afraid the Senator is unavailable for comment he’s in Tibet for the Dali Lama’s four thousandth birthday party.” The plan is to fight the subpoenas until the clock runs out. To attempt to strangle Tweety, while pretending to pat him on the head. The trick is twofold, first convince the public the insurrection of January 6th never happened. While with their other hand convince the public, that they weren’t involved, not interested or it wasn’t their fault. They were just simple Congressman taken in and duped by the clever Amish cavorting in their blood sport. Proud boys and Nazis, “Now how did they get in there? It is an illusion which would make Harry Houdini hang up his cape and retire.
“You know those Proud Boys in body armor were very respectful; they walked between the ropes and didn’t throw urine or feces anywhere really important.” Okay, here is the plan. Since we all know the January 6th insurrection never happened. That means the suspects still jailed are political prisoners! That means this is all Joe Biden’s Fault! We should hold a press conference and decry the unfairness of suspects jailed and denied bond on simple violent felony charges.
Is it stupid? Is it moronic? You bet it is! “Go long Mary, and I’ll chunk it to you! It’s this or back under the trailer.” Momma always said, “Act in haste repent in captivity. “
“No high-minded man, no man of right feeling, can contemplate the lumbering and slovenly lying of the present day without grieving to see a noble art so prostituted.”
― Mark Twain