When Reality had the Day Off

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

Of all the realities, gin joints, dimensions, and dive bars in this universe, I ended up here. In a gurgling stream of non-reality, awaiting the refreshing taste of American screw ball Fascism. At war with everything and everybody, angry at the world. “Nobody ever told me it would be like this! I have my house and my car. I have my Harley and my Stratocaster. I have my clean drinking water and a flush toilet. Sometimes, I drink at the Am-vets club on Saturday night and go bowling on Wednesdays, but I’m not happy. I want more.

After an exhaustive search, Huntsville, Alabama, was chosen as the new headquarters for Buck Rodgers and SPACE COMMAND, “of the 21st Century!” (For best results, imagine echo/reverb here) Then Twump went and opened his big yap, telling the locals he chose Huntsville all by himself. Loose lips, sink ships. That remark was not well received by the Colorado Congressional delegation for the former Headquarters of SPACE COMMAND, “of the 21st Century!” (Repeat echo, as necessary) Members who had suspected that the fix was in all along. Public policy as handled by an eight-year-old. You are my friend; I’ll put SPACE COMMAND, “of the 21st Century!” at your house. What could go wrong?

Why I bet having the SPACE COMMAND, “of the 21st Century!” end up in your Congressional District is like having a Brinks truck jack knife in front of your house. Enough graft for everyone, a fella could get rich just picking up what falls off the truck. I guess a fella would be mighty appreciative of that kind of good fortune and in his thankfulness, hope to repay any benefactor. Mo Brooks, bought and paid for. I’m going to give you the keys to the Emerald City Bubba, and you’re going to owe me big time. It’s Christmas time at the boarding house, and they just put a big-fat turkey on the table with all the fixings.

Now you betcha, sure enough, Buck Rodgers is going to need himself a spaceship. And probably a landing craft or two, and some cargo vessels. They’ll need some assault vehicles, with all the space accoutrements. Spy satellites, “Give me two!” Sorry, only one per budget appropriation. Twenty thousand staplers, a few rockets and a shit load of office furniture. Ponce De Le Trump’s Fountain of money!

And from our little boy is growing up department. Florida Congressman, Matt Gaetz was told he was to marry Ginger Luckey. Luckey is the sister of a wealthy Trump supporter who grew rich through the defense department. Not since Rock Hudson married his secretary, has there been such a clear-cut case of love at first necessity. He popped the question to her at Mira Lago and, “she said, yes!” It is so soap opera obvious, as to be ludicrous. Gaetz under investigation for sex trafficking of a minor and ecstasy parties, reads the tea leaves of a future court room scenario. “Your honor, my client is a family man with a wife to support. Don’t send him to prison.”

Some people, haters mainly say it looks bad and smells bad. Gaetz serving on Congressional committees that will directly benefit his future brother-in-law, Daddy Warbucks. Gaetz cherishes the one photo of the couple together and despite their twelve-year age difference, promises to be a good and faithful husband. The couple plan nuptials at Mira Lago, followed by separate honeymoons and addresses. Great Deals now available on Arizona, ocean front property! For Sale – Slightly used bridge in Brooklyn, serious inquiries only. For a limited time – Yoko Ono – The complete box set retrospective, including the rarely heard, early years.

This is the reason people would flip out on LSD. The situation would become so absurd, their brains couldn’t handle the distortion anymore. The State Supreme Court of Kentucky, struck down the Governor’s executive orders requiring masks and following the CDC Guidelines. Declaring, the Governor had overstepped his authority, and had no business trying to do things. The court’s move clears the way for Kentucky to climb to the top of the nation’s Covid dead corpse pile.

The Mississippi poison control center reports 70% of recent calls involve people who have ingested cattle wormer. (Think how many couldn’t find the number!) Spurred on by Faux News hosts, they don’t trust those doctors with their fancy book learning, reading and writing and stuff. “No thank you, I don’t want no vaccine that might make me magnetic or mess with my DAN! I’ll stick to the cattle wormer!

Like waking up in an absurdist film, “When Reality had the Day Off!” “Would you like a cup of cheese sir? You must really try the cheese sir!” Politicians voting to send kids into a meat grinder for no other purpose than to disagree with Joe Biden and own the Libs. “Oh yeah? A disease huh, where did you hear that? Knock this chip off my shoulder. Step across this line. Tell me again about your widdle disease punk. Close the schools! Why? Ya chicken or somethin? Come on, put up your dukes! If you’re so right, why don’t you want to fight about it?”

Having no answers, they contest the questions. Having no morals, they play along with the ruse. Descending the staircase of imagination and bargain basement delirium. Elmer Gantry is leading the choir, as the children climb aboard the psychedelic school bus. Off for a fun time adventure, in a land without germs or viruses, and without race theory or masks. All you need do is draw on the orange pipe some, and it all comes true. Not only will they drink the Kool Aide, but they’ll also ask for seconds. And if you ask them to; they’ll even throw someone’s kids in the fire for you.

“There’s more beauty in truth, even if it is dreadful beauty.”
― John Steinbeck

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