By David Glenn Cox
It was their bread and butter and their mead too. The hand of American quasi-Judeo-Christian religious heritage, held up over the head of the candidate deemed to have “good moral character” and setting the applause-o-meter alight. Pillars of the community, whose family fortune and generational connections have nothing to do with their desire to serve the public. Richard Nixon went skinny dipping with Billy Graham. You know you’re bro’s, when you go skinny dipping together. Well, there is always that one. The exception to the rule, so to speak.
Harry Truman was asked by a lobbyist what motivated him, women, money, power? He responded, “I don’t need money; I’ve got power and the women are up at the house.”
Truman often found preachers were willing to pray for him, just not vote for him. By modern standards, Harry is a wooden George Washington cutting down a cherry tree. One wife, one child, living quietly in a small house on Delaware St. with his mother-in-law. It’s true! In bygone eras, families actually lived together…voluntarily! We know this is true, because of terms such as “mother-in-law suite” and “family room.” For fun, Harry drank whiskey occasionally, played cards and the played piano. This guy is so boring, he irons his shirts, just so his closet will look nice.
Then came Ronald Reagan, our first divorced President. Our first President to father a child with a woman other than his wife, not counting Thomas Jefferson of course. Suddenly, the Republican’s said, “so what?” to the character issue. “So what, he got another woman pregnant, while still married to his wife, so what?”
So what, he has a DUI or two, and maybe he didn’t finish his National Guard tour. So what, he had a reputation as a bit of lush and his nose knew how to navigate that little white powder trail like a native, so what? Don’t worry, it’ll be alright. He’s a changed man! He’s got religion now! What’s the worst, that could happen? Dennis Hastert was the Republican Speaker of the House, before his arrest as a serial child rapist of little boys. The White House said, “That’s not the Dennis we knew, but we’re sure gonna miss him.” Victims? Oh, yeah sure, victims. Good luck Dennis, bon voyage!
Then came Trumpinstein, totally bankrupt of all moral values. Multiple marriages, eventually scouring entire third-world countries, looking for young women lacking in self-esteem and willing to marry him. Multiple assault charges, rape charges. Young girl accusations, pedophile friends and associating with known criminals, so what? Tax fraud, financial crimes, sedition, insurrection, collusion, and treason. So what? If you told me Trumpinstein was putting slugs in parking meters, I would believe you. The devil is just glad he had a head start.
Matt Gaetz was secretly married in California. (If I were marrying Matt Gaetz, that’s the way I would handle it too!) Could the sound of little hoof beats be in the offing? “You see? My boy couldn’t have been involved with sex trafficking, he’s…married!” Maybe it will work for the home folks, and maybe the judge will show some leniency.
Republicans and the mentally deficient across the Mid-west, are being warned to stay indoors after the Republican Party of Minnesota imploded. Throwing tons of deadly Republican fallout, high into the atmosphere all over the affected areas. Symptoms include divorce attorneys, deafness, blindness, and civil suits! If you or any of your loved ones might have been exposed, (Pun Intended) Remain calm, break glass, open Bible and point away from face. Stranded in the lifeboat of a scoundrel, tentatively called Jordanaires disease, because to the similarity to Jim Jordan, the representative involved in the Ohio State wrestling scandal. Where boys say they were molested in the locker room. And Jordan while admitting he worked in the locker room on a daily basis, said he saw and heard nothing.
The head of the Minnesota Republican Party is accused of being a quisling. The slimy instrument that does the dirty work for the dirty boss, until they get to be the dirty boss. So, you’d think that when one woman came to another with reports of sexual harassment and inappropriate touching, they’d find a sympathetic ear. You’d be wrong about that. That’s an important person touching you! And if he touches you, and I say nothing! He likes me more and more.
Then a cool looking stranger rode into town in a cool car with money leaking from every pocket. “Here’s a thousand dollars, someone go get me a Coke.” This young cool stranger was a chick magnet, but then, what young guy with money and a Ferrari, isn’t a chick magnet? When asked, He said he was an entrepreneur, self-employed aka drug dealer. But he wasn’t a drug dealer, he just looked like one from a daytime soap opera. Rocco from out of town, a dark and mysterious stranger. Always hanging around Republican meeting rooms, eying the women and always writing large checks for worthy Republican candidates.
The curious part is that there were no strings. “Here is the check. Now promise me you’ll get the orphanage approved for strip mining.” He just wanted to be liked and admired as a big shot who wrote big checks and had roaming eyes. The dedicated Republican, who had worked himself up from nothing and lived out the American Dream, as the owner and operator of “Only Young Teens.” A website designed to explore human reproduction and sexuality, with the aid of adolescents.
It is so sordid as to make Matt Gaetz look like an altar boy smoking a Marlboro behind the church after Mass.
“Mr. Lazzaro is not charged in any way shape or form with producing or possessing child pornography. Any assertion that Mr. Lazzaro was involved with child pornography is blatantly false. Even the overreaching indictment against Mr. Lazzaro does not make those sort of claims. The facts and truth leave nothing up for debate. Mr. Lazzaro looks forward to clearing his good name and shining the light on these false anonymous allegations in court.”
His client is not selling or producing child pornography, he’s only selling and producing regular pornography! Why the six charges of sex trafficking, three charges of obstruction and one charge of Conspiracy to commit child trafficking, say nothing about child pornography. Jeffery Dahmer owned a meat slicer, so what?
Boom! Mushroom cloud!
“We must remember that the test of our religious principles lies not just in what we say, not only in our prayers, not even in living blameless lives – but in what we do for others”
― Harry S. Truman