By David Glenn Cox
How bad is it, you ask? Oh, it is bad. How bad? Real bad! Generally, it is a considered a breach of House etiquette and decorum to threaten witnesses. It’s also a federal crime, punishable by gray bar hotel time. So, when the House Minority leader takes to the press gallery with threats…it’s bad. Kevin (Charlie’s dumber brother) McCarthy, warned phone companies and tech companies, not to turn over records to the January 6th committee. McCarthy warns, “We will not forget” And we knows where you’s guys live (Faux gangster accent) it would be a real shame, if something happened to that nice Google or Twister, you got there.
Playboy Magazines! In my room? Mom, whatever gave you an idea like that? Me thinks he doth protest too much. His concern was based only in observing the law. It would be wrong to just GIVE the records to the Congressional Committee because there are privacy issues at stake. We could find out just how many teenagers Matt Gaetz really dates and where he buys his drugs. All the best stock tips. Hookers! Hookers! Hookers! All sorts of peccadillos could rise to the surface. Charlie, I mean Kevin, is concerned with privacy in the same way Ron DeSantis is worried about freedom. Kevin says, “you can’t just give the records away!”
The bank robbery suspect trying to get the bank security camera footage thrown out of court on privacy grounds. “I never gave them permission to film me! That film’s illegal!” Here is where it goes from bad to worse. McCarthy maintains, “you need a subpoena for that!” Kevin, ask yourself, just how hard would that actually be to come up with? How long would it take Nancy Pelosi to get a subpoena in Washington? It would probably take longer to get a gallon of milk. But, but, but, if the phone records are turned over, its all over, Danny ballgame. No questionable witnesses, subject to the Faux News spin or the Tucker Carlson turd bath. Black and white, in their own words. Front page, New York Times!
Nancy Pelosi could refresh Gym Jordan’s memory about when he spoke with Twump, and what they spoke about on the 6th. You know, Gym’s memory is not as good as it once was, and it was never that good to start with. We could read the transcript of the call between Bitch McConnell and Twump. That would sell some newspapers! Scholar’s mate, straight for the jugular. Everybody likes a look behind the scenes at inside baseball, especially when its dirty pool. You have no right to privacy while committing felonies or taking up arms against the government.
In black & white, it would spell out what Republican House members said to Twump, and to each other, during the insurrection. More importantly, it would incontrovertibly describe what Twump answered in return. It is the nuclear attack scenario for the Republican Party. In their own words, sedition, and insurrection. The Pentagon Papers for a new generation! A Watergate anniversary party. Just when they thought it couldn’t get any worse. They bring out the phone records laser cannon, and it begins to look like a climactic scene from a Star Wars movie or the Battle of the Little Big Horn. No survivors.
The Republicans have big plans. They are going to take back the House in 2022. Then retake the Senate in 2024, and then, Ron Desantis will be sworn into the White House. Only, there are a few bumps in the road still to be smoothed out. Polling experts estimate by 2024, there might only be ten to twenty thousand registered Republicans still left alive in Florida. He led us into a minefield of death unnecessarily. He’s proved himself cantankerous and petty, let’s make him President! That’s reading the tea leaves real good boys. America is looking for a cantankerous idiot, unable to get along with anyone, and too stupid to know when he’s sawing off the branch he’s standing on!
One of the issues that sunk Dick Nixon was, “expletive deleted.” It wasn’t against the law for the President to swear on tape, but Americans had never before heard a President swear like a drunken sailor on leave. It made for a bad impression. The otherwise affable, always pleasant, and fun loving (not) Nixon sounded like a cheap thug. Then when eighteen minutes of the tape was missing, America said, “Holy shit! After what we’ve already heard! What the fuck else could they be hiding?” It was the tone and tenor as much as the issues. Nixon said, the tape was his personal property and tried the executive privilege route.
President’s often fight tooth and nail to suppress perfectly legal and honorable conduct. Especially, when it’s disappeared from the middle of damning evidence! The time to call your lawyer versus the time to call a cab. Time to look at countries without extradition treaties and a time to consider liquidating assets. Time to take Tony Soprano’s advice, and use throw away cell phones.
Throughout the Watergate affair, there was a sense of urgency and a sense of fear. They were juggling hand grenades on a stage covered with Crisco, and they knew it. This bunch of pin heads appears to have given it little thought. Casually, they would contest the election like they do it all the time. But then, the moron brigade showed up and ruined everything. They were just supposed to make noise and look threatening, they weren’t supposed to break in. Breaking in is a crime! It’s a riot out there Mr. President, you’ve got to call them off or someday, they might hang us all for this! Hoisted on their own petards, they fell in love with the opium of Donald Twump and now they are dead by it. The sword of Damocles is just getting warmed up.
“It must be considered that there is nothing more difficult to carry out, nor more doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to handle, than to initiate a new order of things.” ― Niccolo Machiavelli