Help Us Obi Wan, Help Us!

Falling through the unvierse at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

We had a standing joke when I lived in Atlanta. If you went down to the Department of Motor Vehicles  and took your written test and obtained a score of zero or less. Then hit a car in the parking lot during your driving test, you were immediately granted a cab drivers license and sent to the airport.  You are so good at driving, we’re gonna give you a special license! Driving that appears so hap hazard and disconnected, that you fear for the safety of others down the road. “Oh MaGoo, you’ve done it again!”

Bill Buckner was a great baseball player. He won batting titles, but he let the ball go between his legs one time, and his entire career was shaded because of it. What of the player that lets the ball roll between their legs most of the time, and only occasionally gets a hit? Just like Laurel and Hardy, only not as bright. A record that shines across the heavens. “Leave no corporation unhappy!”

Eugene Debs, was the President of a Union on strike, when the Federal Court issued an injunction. Though he be a free man in the United States. The Federal Court enjoined him from speaking to his union membership. Freedom of Speech, what’s that? Freedom of Assembly? Huh?” The Supreme Court is the comic sans of our lives. The most political, non-political body in history with a storied record of wrongness. Rolling the dice on time and Presidency, just to see what you can come up with. Well, I guess, it’s Judge, Jack the Ripper, from now on. Passing through the room of tears, wearing vestments and holy orders.

With superior logic and black robes and all sorts of formalities, comic sans can become high art. Simply drain out the emotion and common sense and remember our motto: Mercantilism Uber Alis! So, the Dred Scott case becomes child’s play. The man has a receipt. It doesn’t matter that the lost property in question, is a human being trying to escape bondage. The man has a receipt! It doesn’t matter that time has elapsed, and the law being used isn’t valid in the territory you are seeking to enforce it. The man has a receipt. A lost dog never stops being yours.

Then there was the time the Supreme Court ruled: Children make the best coal miners! Nothin wrong with the little buggars working twelve hours days, in inhuman conditions. You ought to see them go! Jumping and climbing, among the pullies and belts as they go whizzing by. It’s really remarkable that more children don’t get injured or disabled than actually do. Kids working like grownups in a coal mine…what’s wrong with that?

Property is property and humanity is humanity, and never shall the twain meet. The country was flat on its back when FDR took over. Passing a host of programs attempting to revive the economy. That this appointed board of Obie Wan Kenobi struck down by the handful. In frustration, FDR tried packing the court and failed because of public pressure, the public was correct. You don’t fight crab grass by planting more crab grass. They are also activists who prevent activity, when acting in concert with an out of power political party. Seeking to thwart the will of the people through judicial fiat.

Brown Vs. Board of Education was a tough one for moderate Republicans of the 1950s. “There! How’s That! Separate but equal! We got a new gymnasium and you got a new basketball, even Steven! Of course, you don’t have the new history books! It hasn’t happened yet; we’re waiting to send you the latest edition, just as soon as it happens! Well, if you’d just stay in your own neighborhood, you wouldn’t know it was unequal!

Now, if we all open our history text to page 194, “The Sixties Explode, like a Ripe Possum on a Hot Texas Highway.” We can see how successful the Supreme Court’s ruling actually was for America.  Trying with all their might to remind nonwhite Americans that everyone is equal here, except for you guys. Without having the guts to say it out loud. Try and understand, we want your money. And we want your labor, oh my yes, we loves that cheap labor. We just don’t want you! And maybe, you’ll try to get all high mighty about your rights and liberties and such, but let me remind you, the court is on my side. And what’s more, they always will be.

The founding fathers worked late into the night. How can we build and nurture this democracy of ours, while still protecting our right for rapacious profit and untaxed eternal wealth? A board of the elite was suggested, trained by the elite, for service to the elite. This board shall have final authority over what the elite shall be allowed to do in this new democracy ours.

In their eternal wisdom, all powers not specifically named in the Constitution belong to the state. That means elections, states are the final arbiters of all elections. Why, if a state Supreme Court were to say the vote counting should go on. It stops, when the Federal Supreme Court says “Stop!” It stops, despite law and statute it stops, despite rights guaranteed in the Constitution. The elite have decided. In the Elites ruling was the caveat, “Just this once.” It can’t be legal, just this once or illegal, just this once. It is or it isn’t.

Rommell chased Montgomery up the coast of North Africa until he ran out of supplies, and Montgomery was sitting on his. Then Monty chased Rommell back down the coast, until the situations reversed again. Republicans make their lunch money pushing their “pro-life” stance. It’s their gimmick, their shtick, a fund-raising ploy designed to get grand ma to send the Social Security check “To save the poor little babies!” The new Texas law (Say that to yourself and try not to smile, “Texas Law” like “Tasmanian Devil”) bans 80% of Abortions in Texas. Roe Vs. Wade is established law. It isn’t question of law; it is a question of what the elites are willing to try. Pushing their supply lines to their furthest reach and poisoning their own wells as they go.

If they outlaw abortion, their fund raising will dry up. They will have crippled the funding arm of their party. The NRA is already on life support. But when you are trying to keep the steam up, you are willing to burn the deck chairs and furniture. Yet another sign that the Republican Party is disintegrating. “Help. You’ve got to help us! Help us Elites, we are failing badly, and we’ve passed this ridiculous law, and now, we need for you to legitimize it and let it stand. Help us Obi Wan, help us!

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