Fool Me Twice

By David Glenn Cox

And so, it is all a part of the game. To have others go out in public and speculate on what you might do in the future. I’m not in the news right now, but if you mention me, I will be. Gym Jordan says, “he’s 99 to 100% sure Donald Twump is going to run again.” Ask yourself; “Is this man ever wrong?” This can only mean one thing…donations are way down at Mira- Lago! Suppose we chart this thing out. If! If Donald Twump has made that structure that passes for a human brain hold with the decision, he will run again! The next decision once made is, who do you tell first? Is the name Gym Jordan, on your list too?

Twump loyalist takes to the street shouting, “He’s running again! He’s running again!” After Franklin Roosevelt was struck down with polio, his wife Eleanor began making speeches to keep his name in the public eye. Harry Hopkins would contact friendly reporters to give them FDR’s opinions on the issues of the day unasked. Out of sight, out of office and out of his mind. Basic public relations, Re-grand opening! Under New Management! We’re not like we used to be, we’re better now!

The media being the media, snorts that candy right up their nose. Twump is running again, says Gym Jordan! How can we back that up? What sort of corroborating evidence is there? Well, Twump is selling the rights to his Washington hotel. You remember the one, the Washington hotel where lobbyists came not to be seen. The secret honeycomb hideout, where you rent a block of rooms for the month, and no one ever sleeps there. The idea that Twump would sell the altar where donatives are made in Temple Twump, and use that as evidence that Twump will run again is absurd.

Al Capone sold his gun. “He must be up to something!” Sir, the scouts are back and found nothing. “Oh, that’s a bad sign.” They found no sign of the enemy. “We might be surrounded!” Mike Lindell recently sold off the My Pillow company jet and is hoofing it from now on. Some said, it was to pay his immense legal expenses or maybe, he’s planning something really big!

If you listen late at night to the whispering wind, you can hear a small voice moaning in the distance. “Remember me? I’m Donald Twump. I don’t have a blog anymore (A fella would have to be crazy to do that everyday.) I’m not on social media and if you don’t watch Faux Snooze, you might think I was dead already! “A long time ago in a galaxy not far, far enough away.”

Donald Twump will not run in 2024, because he can’t win. He’s lost the popular vote twice. He was awarded the White House on a technicality the first time, and can’t count on beginners’ luck again. Twump is the most polarizing politician/career criminal, ever to come down the pike. There is no block of independents or undecided voters to sway. If you’ve lost twice and you are less popular now  than you were then. What day do you kick off your campaign?

If Twump admits he’s not running, he can’t keep collecting money from those who think that he is. He’s a liar and a conman and he does only what’s good for himself. As long as he is the big question mark, the Republicans are fucked. A giant vacuum sucking all the air out of the room, the thing that wouldn’t leave. No one can openly fundraise, nor dare even announce, until his lordship has decided.

Mike Pence has made no bones about running, but it is the sound of one hand clapping. “Nice Mike, sit down.” Pence attempted the Liz Cheney route, the good guy in the bad administration. Then he realized that everyone had already left the room and the hotel staff were putting away the coffee urn and folding up the chairs. Away with you to the Island of broken tools. Mike Pence fundraising circular; I want ten million dollars in un-marked bills, or I will publicly support your campaign and or, your product or service!

There is a hard rain coming and Twump has a lot of windows open. It is hard to run an effective campaign while being subpoenaed to release documents. A Congressional Committee is investigating your followers’ actions…at your behest. Prominent Republican law makers phone records are being requested, just to find out if they talked to you! Boy, voters could sure take that the wrong way! That would make them and you, accomplices to a crime. We weren’t hiding in the closet, we were coordinating with the organizer, the big Cheeto!

Time waits for no man, especially not for this low life grifter. Like millions of New Yorkers  before him Twump has retired to Florida, whether he knows it or not. The only things expanding in the Twump universe are legal headaches and golf slacks. Cheeseburger diet plus 76 years, plus lots of refreshing Coke a Cola Products, plus sedentary lifestyle equals. “He looks so natural, like he’s only sleeping.” Huck Finn said, “It’s troublesome to do right and it ain’t no trouble to do wrong and the wages is just the same.” Trump can pretend to run for office and rake in cash, without ever leaving the comfort of his Lazy boy chair. If he were to definitively say yes, he has to get up off his backside and go to work.

“He sure is a hard worker!” Things that no one has ever said about Donald Twump. Two years at Mira Lago will have detrimental effect on his work ethic. Finally, there is his ego, not to mention his missing wife. (Check those milk cartons in your area!) Currently, and from now on until Jesus rings the bell. Twump can claim he was robbed and was the victim of an evil plot. His ego can be absolved of any, and all responsibility for the loss. “I didn’t lose, I was cheated!” If he were to run again and lose (Which he most certainly would) he would look a fool. Only a fool, would play a crooked game twice!

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…”

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