Upwards of a Thousand Lies

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

The band “Kansas” once asked, “How long, to the point of no return?” In the race to the bottom, our leader board shows Gregg “Bud” Abbott taking Texas into a slight lead. With Florida’s Ron De Death Sentence, humping on his leg in second place. Kamikaze Indy racers, headed for a brick wall. Both trying to climb over the other, trying to be the big chimp on the monkey bars. Get that funding raising jump and that media bump as “frontrunner.” Got to win those early primaries! Do you know who votes in Republican primaries? Crazy people who wear tin foil as a fashion statement, Smith & Wesson as a political statement, toting a Bible as a religious statement.

So, as we the sane watch the Republican sideshow, we scratch our heads in wonder. To the typical Fascist Republican primary voter, it’s just so hard to choose. “Theys both good men. I’d bet my right tooth on either one.” The vacuum left behind by the black hole of Twump can’t be filled. Most of all, it can’t be filled by the likes of dumbass Bud Abbot or numb nuts Ron De Death Ray. They both need a big bass drum to beat on to draw attention to themselves, both having the charisma of your average used kitchen sponge.

Killer Ron gets caught fudging the Florida Covid death totals…again. And Bubba Abbott, shoves through a clearly unconstitutional Abortion bill. As Texas shuns Western Civilization and returns gracefully to the 19th Century. But to the blue haired ladies against freedom and the Bible Thumpers league, Bud Abbott is a hero.

In the Republican Party, Irony means something having a lot of iron in it. Not noticing any similarity between Austin and Kabul. Ignorant men with ignorant beliefs and ancient scriptures, trying to rule over people’s lives in the 21st Century, because of an ancient fraud. I have no problems with the world’s religions. I have a problem with religions in my face. I’ve always wondered, why we don’t celebrate Jericho Day. The day God in his wisdom stopped the sun, so Joshua could complete his battle. But God being God, would already know that the sun wasn’t moving, so he didn’t need to stop it. He would have to stop the Earth to allow Josh to finish things up. But here is where it begins to get tricky.

The Earth is spinning at eighteen thousand miles per hour. If God suddenly stopped it, everything not tied down in California, would be missiles headed for the East Coast, due in about three minutes. But if he slowed the world gradually, the trick would be how to keep things on the surface of the Earth from floating away. That Josh, he sure did make a lot of trouble for God. In the end, Josh just blew a magic trumpet and the city walls just fell down, because God wanted them to. And God liked to hear Josh play the horn. “We’ve been out here all day fighting in the hot sun losing men, until its nearly getting dark already, and you had that magic horn with you this whole time?”

“You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?” ― Mark Twain

Believe, if you want to believe. Pray, if you want to pray. But don’t base the laws I have to live under on your book. We’ve tried theocracy and it didn’t work; it was in all the papers. Google “Dark Ages” if you don’t believe me. But for all the deaths and tragedies, the thousands hospitalized, and the millions of dollars wasted, we should always remember. This is all just a stunt designed to win Republican primaries.

Ron De Senseless doesn’t care two wits about whether you wear a mask or not. This is about getting him elected to higher office. Nothing more, nothing less, there is no agenda here other than political. The Texas Abortion bill was written to be Un-Constitutional, so Bubba could say. “Lookee here what I did! I dare any Federal Court to knock this chip off my shoulder, during the campaign. Huh? Huh? Pretty good, huh? Will you vote for me now?

This is the post Twump apocalypse, there are no “rules” anymore in Republican Party. He doesn’t have to tell the truth and you can’t make him. Facts are random things, and you may accept some and disregard others as you will. A Federal Court told a penitent in Ohio, that it couldn’t force a hospital to treat him with cattle wormer. Their alternative facts turning into alternative realities and alternative universes. Their Presidential aspirations are nothing more than a chutes and ladders game to be played with real people’s lives in Flander’s field.

That is why “Bud” Abbott can say the most ignorant thing ever to come out of a Texas Governors mouth. (And Texas had George W Bush!)  Any man with a wife or girlfriend, knows the mathematics of six weeks. So, it is for you to decide; is Greg “Bubba” Abbott really that dumb, or does he just think that you are? Clown statements and general buffoonery, “See, they don’t need an exclusion for rape or incest. The governor is going to arrest all the bad men and put them all in jail, BEFORE anything bad happens. And keep them in jail, until they learn the error of their ways by studying the Bible!

Nonsensical gibberish, unable to defend his own handiwork Abbot tries the “Let’s see, just how stupid they really are?” The best defense is a bullshit offence. It doesn’t have to be accurate when you have truck loads of it. “When they go low, we go lower! When they spout facts…we make it up as we go!”

“The Bible has noble poetry in it… and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.” ― Mark Twain

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