See the End of the World: Vote Republican!

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

I’ve been called an optimist, a position which makes me uncomfortable. I’m far from an optimist, I would have guessed the Titanic was going down, from the get-go. Like the Stones song, “Sympathy for the Devil.” I cursed the Chicago Cubs while voting for Dukakis. I’m far from optimistic, here let me show you. If science is to be trusted if you blindly believe in actuarial tables and such.  I should be leaving this planet for a better world in the next twenty-five years or so, with or without, the help of Elon Musk.

That being said, all this concern for the environment and animal extinction, but what about me? Now, times that emotion by seven something billion and you see the problem. Everyone wants to save the planet, but not if it means giving up supper tonight. They’ll put that last spotted owl on the spit and look for the charcoal starter. Greed is our closest known human trait to our Simian overlords. We even sell people!

On the positive side of the ledger, we used to use candles for light and slept on straw on the floor. Everybody had a hole the back yard that they shit in, in all weather! Sanitation was just a word no one had ever used in Scrabble before. Save that corncob, you’ll meet again! I don’t think it optimistic to believe that we are very fortunate, historically speaking. But to whom much is given, even more is given.  Before cellphones, humans once lit signal fires on hilltops and hollered real loud for communication. “Vikings Coming! LOL smiling emoji.”

I don’t think Joe Biden’s agenda is overreaching, but only premature. Who can blame a kid for having  big eyes in the candy store? After starving, four long nightmarish Twump years, The Republicans claim the game is fixed…and they are right. Old farts like me are checking out in record numbers and being replaced by a new generation, who only know Ronald Reagan as an ugly smiling portrait. The most liberal generation,  since Nixon went skinny dipping with Billy Graham.

Meanwhile, this rising generation sees Republicans as crazy people, marching around with army helmets and guns. “Springtime for Hitler” Nazis, spouting nonsense. “Hi, I ended your extended unemployment benefits, gave away three billion dollars to billionaires, and made your child’s school a petri dish. I hope I can count on your support in the upcoming election. You know, with a Republican majority. We can raise your taxes, deny women’s rights, and pass some really racist legislation!”

Like baseball, there is a line. Cross it and you are foul. The rising generation is running left while the reactionary right, is looking more reactionary and dangerous to the general public than ever before. You don’t want to go to the Republican planning session if you have to listen to that Hell’s Angel bitchin about helmet laws again. Him and the suspected Klansmen and the Proud Boy are going out for drinks after the meeting, but they didn’t invite you! Maybe you don’t fit in anymore?

I’m not an optimist; I’m a cynic. When Twump went down to Georgia to campaign for two Senate Candidates. I knew he’d get no golden fiddle. I knew the races were in the bag! I was cynical enough to believe Twump would so fire up the opposition, that we couldn’t lose! Twump is our secret friend, he’s going to help us to win future elections. Him and Matt Gaetz and Marge Greene, “hello Republicans meet your future.” That’s right, we want to defend your child’s right to carry handgun in grade school. We think everyone should fall on the ground worshiping Jesus holding live snakes, whether you’re a Christian or not!”

“And if you ain’t a Christian, get the fuck out of my Party! God is love motherfucker, and I’ll cave your head in, if you try and say otherwise!”

Ask Pagliacci about what it is like to be a sad clown, whose best days were imaginary? Whose Presidential hours were a busted jar BB’s rolling around on the floor.  The orange makeup is fading and he’s no new tricks to do. “Hey kids, remember when I…?” He’s playing smaller rooms now in “safe” areas. Faux News can call it a line drive, but it’s a pop-up. He only holds his rallies on Friday, because on Thursday, they might not show up. “It’s date night honey! Put on your best tube top!”

All the Democrats have to do is show up at the polls. That’s not optimism, that’s math! Their Republican policies are unpopular, their politicians extreme and goofy. Who can ever forget, Ted Cruz headed for Acapulco, during an ice storm emergency and leaving the family dog at home? He’s a smart dog, he’ll figure out the can opener okay in a day or two. When the going gets tough, the tough get going! The room rates by the week, in Acapulco are fabulous.

We will reach the mountain top, or we will die on the mountain. Extinction calls to us. If you think its dry now, wait a hundred years. Those ancient civilization ruins found in the jungles and the deserts of the world, were once in nice neighborhoods. Their societies fell down and were shattered by situations beyond their reach. By the folly of human greed and self-centeredness.

Look at me! I’m a high Priest with buckets of gold and ten thousand slaves! I’m going to build my own space program and live on Mars, once the Earth becomes uninhabitable. A old made-up circus clown leading Bubba rallies, like Romper Room on acid. My opinion of the Republican future is dim indeed and far from optimistic.

 See the end of the world: Vote Republican!

I’m not an optimist, but I don’t think we will let that happen. Just like every other time Republicans have driven our world into a ditch. Democrats will come together, like they did in 1932 and make short work of the Republicans and save the world, while not lifting a finger to save me! Damn you all! But this electoral map is possible.

5 Thoughts

  1. The planet will be fine, can you snap your fingers ???
    Thats how long human beings have been here, in the long run….
    Its US who are doomed if we don’t change our ways…
    The planet will be just fine, once we are gone

    Liked by 1 person

  2. We could see it as a challenge to America and the West to rise above the greed that we all thought we were rooted in, and rediscover the ancient art of diplomacy.

    Like

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