Like Thelma and Louise

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

The Texas Legislature sends a slanted redistricting map to the Governor for rubber stamping until the Federal courts, ultimately step in. The Republicans do things like that because of their certainty, the public will approve with their position. They aren’t reaching out…they’re reaching in. Throwing up the battlements in the face of superior forces, hoping to hold back the tide. Burning the deckchairs for just one more ounce of steam, trying to keep it all going for just one more day.

The comedy act of Gaetz and Greene, aren’t Boffo at the Box Office. And are burning through their funds like Don Junior with an eight-ball. Though their expenses be moderate, their donations be few. But let us remember, that they are fishing in the fishpond and hunting in the chicken house. If you can’t come up with something in this crowd, alternative career options should be investigated starting now.

Even Marge Greene gets it. Marge Greene… Our little Margie tweeted out to her followers. “Although, I acknowledge Donald Trump to be my infallible, lord and savior. I just wanted to point out that he was only kidding. When he said, “Don’t vote!” He didn’t really mean that; it’s just one of those funny, off the cuff,  quips that people like Don Rickles and President Twump say. Why, if just 4% of you didn’t vote, Brian Kemp wouldn’t be the Republican Governor of Georgia, right now. And I’d be back at asking, fries or a baker?”

I think someone’s telling on themselves. After the war, in Berlin. They assembled work details to sort and clean the rubble. The old brick was stacked and saved for later use. That’s what Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger are doing now. Amid the rubble, life amid the Trump ruins begins to emerge. The semi sane Republicans attempt to rebuild on the old foundations, as the hair on fire Twumpikins shout. “Pa! They’s a war a comin!”

As many of you are aware, the National Rifle Association is caught in legal purgatory, somewhere between bankruptcy and really fucked up. Caught in a Russian sleeper hold, Republican politicians still like them, but no longer return their calls or share photo opportunities. Meanwhile, on the other side of town, new groups, competitors emerge. “And they ain’t enough gun nuts in this town, fer the both of us!”

“Concealed Carry!” But I want to pretend it’s about hunting! I got a mark ten rocket launcher, just waiting for the first day of deer season! It is easier for a politician to get his picture taken with hunters, than with concealed carriers. Everybody knows hunters, but concealed carriers? As the name implies, not so much. Dancing with unknown partners, on the head of a pin.

Senator, Bill Cassidy, Republican from Louisianna says, If Twump runs Twump loses. He said this publicly, not into a hidden microphone under the hooker’s dress or something. Perhaps, Twump telling his minions not to vote in upcoming elections, was a bridge too far? “It’s us or him now! That crazy old bastard’s gonna drive this Party right off a cliff, like Thema and Louise!” Son, if you’re losing them in Louisiana. Get out the travel brochures and buy the Winnebago, retirement has officially begun.

They must now drown the orange beast, or the orange beast will surely drown them. As an ex-President, without a snowball’s chance in hell, of ever holding office again. What political capital is wasted by saying, “don’t vote?” But in the face rising unpopularity and swelling demographics, it’s the shot heard round the Republican world. In a world of matter; the former President, just became anti-matter. No politician wants their picture taken with Mr. Don’t Vote! Like Atheists for Jesus, the formula just doesn’t work.

I’m not singing, “What a Wonderful World” only pointing out our stock is rising. While their stock is in emergency consultations. Twump has so salted the landscape, that Republican crops no longer grow. If this were a football game, Republicans would be calling for a time out. The clock ticks towards the January 6th hearings and towards election day and they look to converge at right about the same time.

It appears Killer (Ron) DeSenseless, Autocratic leader of the lost state of Florida, (All Hail, his mighty name!)  has been hiding the Covid deaths again. Republicans do that because they are all but certain, the public will approve of their performance and needn’t be bothered with government statistics. But killer Ron’s future is now clouded and occluded. Like a Palooka Joe punching bag, he just keeps coming back for more. Whether defending a condo collapse by offering, “that’s no reason to inspect other buildings!” To leading the nation in Post – Twump lunacy and general fuckery.

Gregg (Bubba) Abbott is forced to work nights and weekends trying to keep up, and to make you forget that 70,000 Texans have died on his watch. Ted Cruz is moving up in the world. He was once only mocked by local politicians, and fellow Senators. He has now drawn an international rebuke, from the Chief Minister of Australia’s, Northern Territory. While Ted was commenting on that rugged, Australian independence. He bemoaned their draconian and overreaching, government vaccination mandate.

The Minister then pointed out, that they have zero Covid deaths in the Northern Territory. Which I believe Australian for; “Fuck Off! Mate” No war for Ted Cruz! No son of mine is going die in a senseless war on the beaches of Darwin, defending Ted Cruz! This is it folks, they don’t dance.

Their guns are broken, and their cattle are scattered. We will not win every battle, but we grow stronger, as they will grow weaker. They will fight a rear-guard action with superior media prowess. They have big money on their side, but sometimes, big money still loses. Gerrymandered districts refuse to stay gerrymandered, and must be re-gerrymandered again and again, attempting to circle the wagons.

Churchill said, “I fight for my corner, and I stay until closing!” I would rather have Joe Biden as a decent human being, sit on his butt and accomplish nothing until the end of time. Than to contemplate or continence for even one second, the return of Twump and the crazy people. Like an ant under a magnifying glass, it looks impressive. But sound gets on the radio and pictures get on TV. Suddenly, it’s suddenly gotten quiet inside the Republican Party. “Then the damn fool told them not to vote!”

“The world is filled with people who are no longer needed. And who try to make slaves of all of us. And they have their music, and we have ours. Theirs, the wasted songs of a superstitious nightmare. And without their music and ideological miscarriages to compare our songs of freedom to, we’d not have any opposite to compare music with — and like the drifting wind, hitting against no obstacle, we’d never know its speed, its power….”
― Woody Guthrie

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