By David Glenn Cox
Good News! Four out of Five Republican voters say, they want Donald Twump to run again for President in 2024. Matt Gaetz says a hit man is on his way to Washington DC to kill him. Reader’s choice, you decide, you take your pick. I guess, it only goes to show, a cult of personality really needs its personality, the same way a village needs its idiot.
All this screeching and clanking and carrying on by Killer Ron Desantis and Greg Bubba Abbott trying to oil down the tin man. Trying to make him look presentable to the public and yet, they make no headway. There is Donald Twump and then there’s, “what’s his name.” With “none of the above” leading the pack. Despite repeated and prolonged efforts at self-sustained idiocy, the “Rat Pack” can only pick the crumbs from Twump’s table.
The same polling also showed the remaining plurality of voters would never, even under penalty of death, vote for Donald Twump. Which means if Twump runs, the Republicans will lose. If Twump doesn’t run, the Republicans will lose, but even worse.
The circle around Twump have taken to calling themselves “Twump World.” Like the “Sons of Anarchy,” a real tough gang of hombres in leather jackets riding their menacing Vespa machines. Their ties flying in the breeze, but only when the cameras are rolling.
It made me laugh, the pep squad calling themselves the first team. Recent graduates and never wases looking for to pad their Resume’. “I worked in former President Donald Twump’s brain trust. We did many important things and made many important decisions.” Willing to accept his well-known abuse, because it’s the only leg up in town. “Yes sir! Right away sir! I will now go fuck myself, as you requested sir!”
The Hitler youth and the true believers. The crowd around a former President or a failing rock star are called groupies or hangers on. Someone to make the arrangements on “Private Jet One” and serve the coffee on its non-stop flight to Dog Patch. Setting up things at the “Fair Grounds” making sure the “Fried Possum on a Stick” vendor is up to snuff and that the tractor parade starts on time.
The former President will be speaking tonight on a subject near and dear to his heart. Whatever happens to fall out of his mouth and “I was robbed!” Don’t stop him if you’ve heard it before. He just loves to tell it! The excitement is palpable, as a Twump visit is the biggest thing to hit Mayberry, since the Pizza Hut burned down. Twump is playing the Fairground circuit in Dog Patch, yet some fear a Twump candidacy.
Twump is now to the Republican Party what hurricanes are to the Gulf coast. A big wind that only brings damage and destruction. Congressional Republicans are being told to vote “No” on whether to jail Steve Bannon for contempt. “Thanks fellas!” You know If I were to go to Madison Ave. or Hollywood and say, “Draw me up an image of a filthy criminal for the next Avengers movie .” They would give me a picture of Steve Bannon.
After jailing Susan McDougal over a civil case, the Neo-fascist crowd will decline to jail Steve Bannon in a criminal case. Effectively dropping their pants, mooning the electorate, and daring them to do something about it.
But Twump told the Republicans not to vote. And I think that he’s right! Never let be said, that I was unwilling to compromise my principles to advance a bipartisan solution. When he’s right, he’s right! By God, you Republicans ought to listen to Donald Twump! Teach those RINOS in your party a God damn good lesson, they’ll never forget and stay home in droves.
Twump’s number are rising inside the Party. The Republican electorate is voicing their disapproval of the Presidential timber thus far displayed, judging them, as all sap and no cattle. But a hit man is coming to snuff Matt Gaetz. “Stay away from the fruit stand,” is my advice. They always do the hit at the fruit stand, and don’t use Fredo as your bodyguard.”
Now who would want to hurt widdle Matt Gaetz? Certainly not the Democrats, he’s the gift that keeps on giving! But Matt’s life is like a big adventure, comic book series. In our last episode, as you may recall, our plucky hero was being blackmailed to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars. Officials investigated and found the criminals were so diabolically clever as to not leave a single clue behind. Leaving Gaetz to prove his extortion case, without a shred of evidence.
Gaetz and his erstwhile girlfriend/rental wife attempted to purchase a yacht with $50,000 in Crypto currency. The deal fell through, and Gaetz claimed it was the extortionist at work again. Like Jimmy Stewart’s Harvey, an invisible friend is making life difficult for him again. Despite the deal falling through, the couple spent the weekend on someone else’s boat uninvited. The couple who came to look at your camper and then stayed in your back yard, camping all weekend.
But Gaetz is under the gun and is working feverishly to build a defense. It is expected that Gaetz will be charged with underage sex trafficking. The Gaetz defense will be, “The Deep State is out to get me!” Gaetz claims, Capitol Police recommended arresting this unknown hit man, but that the Justice department refuses to act to protect him. Either because the Deep State wants to see Gaetz brutally murdered or because, they don’t believe the threat is real.
The ransom note can’t be in your own handwriting. “My abductors are forcing me to write my own ransom note and I assure you that it is not a fake. These are desperate men. Do what they say, please!”
It’s all they feed the herd. A steady diet of fear and propaganda. It’s not a congressman under investigation for sex trafficking. It’s the scandal at the Justice Department! Leaving a United States Congressman with a target painted on his back, for partisan reasons. They do things like that. Their goal is to lie and deceive and never to do their jobs at all. Doctors lie! The media is crooked, and the judges are all crooked too. Everyone’s crooked and there is a bloody war on Christmas too.
The oldest ploy in the world. Claim invisible enemies threaten all that we hold dear and claim to be under attack from all sides, due only to your virtue. The boy who cried wolf, I’m a victim, you’re a victim, wouldn’t you like to be a victim too?
“Harvey and I sit in the bars… have a drink or two… play the juke box. And soon the faces of all the other people they turn toward mine and they smile. And they’re saying, “We don’t know your name, mister, but you’re a very nice fella.” Harvey and I warm ourselves in all these golden moments. We’ve entered as strangers – soon we have friends. And they come over… and they sit with us… and they drink with us… and they talk to us. They tell about the big terrible things they’ve done and the big wonderful things they’ll do. Their hopes, and their regrets, and their loves, and their hates. All very large, because nobody ever brings anything small into a bar. And then I introduce them to Harvey… and he’s bigger and grander than anything they offer me. And when they leave, they leave impressed. The same people seldom come back; but that’s envy, my dear. There’s a little bit of envy in the best of us.”
― Elwood P. Dowd