Let’s Go, Brain-dead!

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

Irony thy name is Republican. The other day, Joe Biden was out walking with the Pope by the river. A gust of wind came up and blew Pope’s hat way out into the middle of the channel. Without hesitation, Joe walked out to the middle of the river, retrieved the hat. Walked back across the river and shook the water from it, before returning it to the Pope. Faux News Special Report: JOE BIDEN CAN’T SWIM!

Nikki Haley was interviewed by the prestigious “Christian Broadcasting Network.” Well, known for their hard hitting pull no punches, bare knuckles journalism. You might suspect as a former Ambassador to the United Nations, that she would be expressing alarm over rising tensions in Asia. Or maybe, the damage being wrought by global climate deterioration.  No, she was voicing alarm over elderly and cognitively declining politicians. It was an idea that first came to her in an e-mail. Sent by the same people who funnel her dark money and put her on CBN in the first place.

CBN then started asking the tough questions. “You’re not talking about any specific politician, are you? You’re not saying that Joe Biden is in mental decline, are you? I got the same E-mail!” It really is an echo chamber, long on adjective and short on verb. She could talk about the Chinese aggressive military stance towards Taiwan or the US quickly building military facilities in Palau.  

But Joe Biden said, he didn’t remember about the submarine deal. Sometimes Presidents say things over the heads of the general public. You can watch the card game, but you can’t see the cards. Chairing meetings and leading teams towards six goals at once. With competing factions miss-steps and mistakes and personality conflicts. Joe Biden isn’t all alone in the White House.

I won’t play what aboutism, but will say that people in orange glass houses really shouldn’t throw stones. People who worked under Donald Twump, really shouldn’t talk about cognitive decline, too loudly. Because you must first ascend before you can decline.

“Well what I’ll tell you is, rather than making this about a person, we seriously need to have a conversation that if you’re gonna have anyone above a certain age in a position of power — whether it’s the House, whether it’s the Senate, whether it’s vice president, whether it’s president — you should have some sort of cognitive test,” Nikki Haley

What are the Republicans offering to counter Biden’s proposals? After fighting for the rights of the virus to thrive during a pandemic. Equating a safety device as equal to the Holocaust. It’s their tears and their tearing of their garments that’s the tip off. “Let’s go Brandon.” Slogans replace white papers. If something ever happened to Dr. Fauci, Rand Paul’s political career would be over. They aren’t for anything! They’re against everything. Even on things that everyone, Republican and Democrats alike agree, would be good for the economy and country.

Every time a Republican speaks out about minority groups causing all the problems in this country, the Liberal media immediately labels them as “Racist.” It boxes the Republicans into a corner of seeking a new enemy without naming them directly, but only by implication.

“I got it! Let’s divide by age! What Haley is proposing is already illegal under Federal law. It’s called “age discrimination.” Here, let me give you a test to see if voters got it right. But it doesn’t matter as the proposal will go no further than the several hundred ears of CBN viewers.

Donald Twump famously passed his cognitive test with few asking, why a doctor thought a cognitive test was necessary in the first place. Doctors often search for clues to your particular ailment to aid in finding a cure. A doctor gave Twump a cognitive test because he thought he’d found it!

The Republican bulletin board will feature the same talking points as always. Until further notice; Joe is in cognitive decline. And incontinent and wears diapers and doesn’t know where he is most of the time, all without any proof. Vladimir Putin described Joe Biden as very sharp, and he was once Twump’s boss! Then again, he might have only been referencing Biden’s intelligence as opposed to Twump. A left-handed compliment, if ever there was one. “Oh yeah, he’s really smart… I mean, when compared with the last guy.”

I once considered “Forbes” as a genuine publication, and not the “Watchtower” newspaper for the Jehovah’s Victims. The headline read; “Democrats Crapping in their Pants over Lauren Boebert.” And the issue is? “We’s gigging Liberals in here! Subscribe today!”  I cannot imagine a scenario, where I would submit to an editor. Any title that included the expression “Crapping in Their Pants” without first gathering up my personal items from my desk, and putting them all in a small box.

Even with my meager journalistic education. I clearly remember from school, the day the instructor wrote on the blackboard. “Words NOT to be used in a headline,” Dickhead, Shit for brains, Mother Fucker, or any reference to the Crapping of one’s pants. As memory serves, it might have been George Carlin.  

But you gotta talk about something…right? So, let’s talk about what Laruen Boebert has done to make Democrats publicly drop stools and soil themselves. She’s done nothing! The floor is clean and there have been no accidents! “OOH, but it’s a point for our side! I hope she got em good!” And this year’s Pulitzer Prize for, “Titles including defecation goes to… Democrats Crapping in their Pants over Lauren Boebert!”

They can’t talk about the issues because they are on the wrong side of them. They can’t explain why they are against investing in public infrastructure. Republican Governors take adversarial positions over vaccine mandates, but vaccine mandates are only necessary, because Republican Governors refused to co-operate when first asked nicely. Republicans are against expanding Medicare, but after four years were unable to even come up with an outline for their own alternative healthcare proposal.

Let’s talk about Transsexuals on the high school track team! Let’s talk about bathrooms and family leave. Let’s talk about critical race theory! Let’s talk about Liberals. Let’s talk about the crisis at the border. And let’s talk about cognitive decline! Let’s talk about Donald Twump being older than Joe Biden is now, if he runs again in 2024. Oh wait, let’s not mention that.

“I don’t believe in anti-anything. A man has to have a program; you have to be for something, otherwise you will never get anywhere.” ― Harry S. Truman

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