By David Glenn Cox
It’s more like a daycare than a political Party. Chief Yellow Tie, AKA Jim Jordan, admits to a positive Covid diagnosis, but won’t say if he’s been vaccinated. It’s a secret, gosh darn it! For the love of Pete, why must the media pry into a man’s private medical history? And then, just like when you talk with a six-year-old. They immediately tell you what you wish to know by trying to not tell you what you wish to know.
News Flash: Jim Jordan’s been vaccinated! You read it here first!
Mr. Jordan gave full 360-degree answers that said by their deflection, he’s been vaccinated. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have worked so hard and just come out and said, “I have not been vaccinated.” And I’m sure, that thought crossed that facsimile of a human mind. But his political career has taught him. Medical records are permanent, and nobody goes to jail over a HIPPA violation. If he said no, when he meant yes, and some under-paid medical transcriptionist found out about it, they just won a new car!
The sure tip off, of knowing when you’re in the presence of a serial liar. They will always attempt to make themselves the hero of the story. They were late for work because, a train derailed, or an orphanage caught fire and they were rescuing the orphan children. “I’m sorry I’m late, but the Fire Chief said, I really deserved a medal!” Yellow Tie wouldn’t say if he’d taken the Covid shot for privacy reasons, but couldn’t wait us all about his amazing anti-bodies! The doctors found Jim’s anti-bodies to be in the “Strong” category. That means way better than your antibodies.
The doctors suggested that Jim should maybe donate his plasma, and maybe save the whole world maybe. Like Charlton Heston in “The Omega Man.” Always the hero, my anti-bodies are better than your old gunky anti-bodies, so there! It’s The KinderCare Follies on Ice.
Margie Greene appeared on the ever-popular Matt Gaetz Pedcast, “Thank Heaven for Little Girls.” Margie has a lot of time on her hands, since losing her committee assignments. She didn’t do a whole lot of paperwork even before that. She’s a smash and grab Congressperson. She’s moving into the future already by making next year’s Christmas list, this year. It ‘s all spelled out on this cocktail napkin and stationery from the Days Inn out by the airport, next to the seedy strip club.
First their gospel; Republicans win control of the House and Senate in next year’s elections. Then Kevin (the boy who thought he could fly) McCarthey will attempt his long-cherished dream to become the Speaker of the House. “If that’s alright with everyone? I have a note here from the Don saying it was okay with him, if it was okay with all you fellers.” Enter dramatic music!
“Not so fast!” Margie says, as she flies in through the window with the greatest of ease. If you want BIG MARGE’s vote, you’re going to have to listen to what BIG MARGE tells you! No self-aggrandizement here, she’s the key vote in an election twelve months out. Kevin McCarthy’s political future lies is in the greasy palm of Margie Greene.
And BIG MARGE has some demands. Starting with a Civil War inside the Republican Party. Rather than run against Democrats again, let’s run against each other! BIG MARGE wants all of the Republicans who voted against Twump expelled from the Party. Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger especially! Did she not get the memo that Kinzinger isn’t running for reelection? Or must punishment be meted out regardless? After losing their political Party, perhaps the Twumpist Republicans will vote to shave the heads of their enemies. And tear off their clothes or burn their houses down. Maybe cut their tires or throw something on their cars.
Their plan is to take control of Congress, so that they can settle scores and exact revenge on their own. A platform of Party purity. “You are loyal Comrade, but are you loyal enough?” Such thinking usually leaves the last two members of the Party pointing guns at each other and saying, “I knew it was you, you were the traitor all along!”
Recalcitrant Republicans who dared to think and speak against the will of the leader, must now campaign to support their future executioners. If elected, I promise to get even with you! Get even with all of you Republicans, who let me lose the election! You know who you are.
BIG MARGE is but the Medium, delivering the message from beyond. (Medium Large Marge) The voice which comes through her is not hers. This voice is masculine and decidedly orange. Their plan is to build Republican Party majorities through Party purity and by decimating the Party membership. The Night of the Long Knives, as after you kill a few of them. I imagine the rest will fall in line.
Sprawled on the middle of the daycare floor, the obese orange spoiled baby throws his blocks and thunderbolts. Kicking his feet and threatening everyone with his terrible orange revenge. If he runs, he loses and if he doesn’t run, he loses. The anger and frustration builds as the walls close in and the time begins to run out. The Sociopath is never at fault; somebody did this to him. Someone else is responsible for this predicament he finds himself in.
Comic Relief Senator, Ted Cruz mocks himself by tweeting about California Governor, Gavin Newsom vacationing in Cabo. Rather that the Cruz preferred vacation destination of Cancun. It was all a funny joke in reference to Cruz leaving his home state of Texas, during an ice storm that killed hundreds and crippled the state. “To hell with you guys, I’m going Mexico! Har, har, har!”
But now, enough time has passed. And Cruz feels it’s now safe to mock himself and his negligence, while mocking the deaths of those Texans unable to fly away to Mexico and stay with him at that nice exclusive resort. The “Let them eat cake” travelogue series with your host, Ted Cruz.
BIG MARGE warns Kevin there is another darker possibility, so he better listen up If he knows what’s good for him. BIG MARGE says, when Republicans take over the house, they might just name Donald Twump as their Speaker. Maybe, perhaps offering him a crown as their king, bowing down to him as the anointed one, so as not to suffer his terrible wrath.
He is the unquestioned leader whom none may doubt or dissent. He knows he lost the election, but he doesn’t care. The Republicans know that he lost the election too, but they don’t care either. Only the agents of Goldstein, would seek to question Big Brother, the Bhagwan, the Fuhrer, or the ghost of JFK Jr.
“The tragedy of modern man is not that he knows less and less about the meaning of his own life, but that it bothers him less and less.” ― Václav Havel