By David Glenn Cox
Sometimes the punchline writes the joke. You just put it out there, and human nature does the rest. Devin Nunes will lead as CEO in Donald Twump’s new media venture. Come on all you Orwell fans, let’s play! What would the largest liar in the whole wide world call his own venture into social media? If you guessed “Truth!” or “Twuth” you win and can claim your prize in room 101. I can already see the bankruptcy auctioneer, tagging the merchandise to be auctioned off.
Nunes can’t wait for his Congressional term to end to start his new job. He’s been redistricted in with real farmers who dislike playschool farmers. So, he’s out of the building like he stole something. Nunes will take his experience as a dairy farmer with only one cow, a messenger boy with one goal and a whore with only one john to Wall Street. But Nunes has no experience as an executive, no contacts in the industry. His congressional career as a template, the Hindenburg is approaching the mooring mast.
I will credit the orange nightmare, because usually when he spouts one of his crazy schemes, the impulse quickly fades after a Quarter Pounder or two. But he’s serious this time and quickly realized this was going to need some expertise not found in the Twump organization. Enter Digital World Acquisition Corp. with a merger planned with Twump Media and Technology Group. The final goal to take this ugly baby bitch public and rake in some real green.
“Houston, we have a problem.” The Securities and Exchange Commission has rules like laws and stuff, about setting up new companies to fleece the unsuspecting. You must first take all the facts and figures in your company and write them down, so it is in black and white. Who is who and what is what! Then the prospectus is shown to investors who judge its value and estimate a stock price. The company is not allowed to offer special deals or discounts for large investors.
But that’s just what the Twump media group is being accused of doing. “Hey look, this stock is going to go through the roof. But I’m going to let you in on the ground-floor baby! $10.00 per share, but you can’t tell anyone, and I’m gonna need your check today. “Boy oh boy, are you going to be rich! Digital World Acquisition currently trades between $33.00 per share to $43.00 per share, so the new company would be expected to trade in a similar range. Why oh why, is Twump world accused of trying to sell shares for $10.00? Why oh why, would you try to sell something for a quarter of it’s estimated face value?
As Twump World prepared its prospectus to approach investors. They left out one little, tiny insignificant detail. The merger is already under investigation by the Security and Exchange Commission. That’s one of those details you must include in your prospectus. You sell something for a quarter of face value when it wasn’t yours to sell, or it isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on.
Twump University, Twump Steaks, Twump Airlines, I bet with some cleaver fast talking you could get it for $8.00 per share. That way when the stock price goes down to zero, you’re only out $8.00 per share. What could go wrong? Who wouldn’t bet their retirement money on “Twuth!”
Their business model? Who will pay for operating expenses and salaries? Advertisers? My Pillow Guy? Twump’s penchant for hyperbole as well as his complete detachment from reality will keep advertisers from flocking to the site. Just a by the by, while you get your checkbook out. Twitter lost hundreds of millions of dollars over their first five years of operation. Many questioned if they would ever be viable. The company made $250 million in 2019, before losing money again in 2020. So, Twump plans take a fraction of the Twitter audience and try to make money, while spreading his… twuth.
Twuth was supposed to be ready in Beta in November, but failed to appear. But now they have hard charging man of action in Devin Nunes at the helm. Plans are now set for a Twuth to kick off sometime in the not-too-distant new year.
A CEO with no experience, a client with a famous track record of scandal and failure. An unsuspecting technology company looking at dollar signs before their eyes, instead of the piece of chewed bubblegum that they are about to become. Even if they had a qualified CEO and developers and engineers, they still need a standard of conduct, because without one, it’s just a shouting contest.
Twump has no standard for decent behavior, so the Twuth website will have no standard for decent behavior. Quickly becoming “Storm Watch” Official website of Neo-Nazis and QAnon. Which, in turn, will get the site pulled from its web hosting, becoming yet but another fiasco under Twump’s belt. But Twump needs an outlet where he can say all the things which got him banned from all the other social media platforms. To say the same things which will eventually sink the Twuth website.
The punchline writes the joke, Devin Nunes to lead Donald Twump’s twuth.
All you need is calliope music in the background, “Hurry, hurry, hurry! Step right up and buy yourself some Donald Twump Twuth. You sir, how about you? You don’t look too bright. It’s regular retail value of thirty to forty dollars per share, but I like you! You remind me of my own Cocaine addicted son.
Well sure, the Security and Exchange Commission is investigating. But it’s only a formality, they do that to everyone with a criminal record for fraud. Besides, who listens to them, I’m offering you the deal of a lifetime here! You could be rich! Don’t you want to be rich?”
It’s one thing to take flying lessons, while it’s another attempting build your own airplane from scratch. Twump knows nothing about steaks or airlines or universities, he’s a con man doing what he does best. And it is so pathetic, that you just want to stand back and watch. With the announcement of the merger talks the stock price soared, and the orange man just chuckled to himself.
“The secret of being a top-notch con man is being able to know what the mark wants. And how to make him think he’s getting it.” – Ken Kesey