By David Glenn Cox
A funny thing happened on the way to the forum. Earlier this year, I had read that Ohio’s favorite locker room attendant has been potentially redistricted out of his congressional seat. I thought it peculiar, because Jimmy Jordan, AKA Chief Yellow Tie has seniority. Not that he does anything with it, just that he has it. Why oh, why, did that happen? Why would fellow Republicans with a majority push their trained seal off the dock?
Jordan’s district in Ohio, is better known to the locals as “the Bubble.” The bubble consists of affluent neighborhoods outside Cleveland. The suburb itself was sort of an epcot center version of a 1950s Norman Rockwell painting. Ferraris and Maserati’s prowling the streets winter and summer. I only worked there; my tax return was missing far too many zeros to ever dream of living there. But they named themselves the bubble, so I guess they know far better than I, what their community is all about.
So many of us, missing those zeros from our tax returns have a great many issues. And we would like to discuss them with our representatives to bring about change. Having those zeros inverts the issue entirely. When you like the way things are going, you want your congressman to promise, under no circumstances will they touch anything. And Jimmy has been a good steward of those intentions. A dependable conservative vote with the motto, “Don’t blame Jim, he didn’t do anything.” A bench warmer with knee pads and Handi Wipes.
Then as this week’s news broke, about Jordan forwarding seditious texts. And being a cheerleader for sedition and insurrection. Damn it Jim, that’s doing something! And then the light came on, somebody smells a scandal coming. And the best way to avoid a scandal is to do away with the district of said scandaleer quietly. Louie Gohmert is running for Texas Attorney General, slipping out the Washington back door before the whip comes down. But you run for Attorney General before you run for Congress, ah…what gives?
But most telling of all is the telling silence of him who is never silent. The orange expert, knowledgeable in all subjects from virology to forest management, has nothing to say. “Whaa? Has nothing to say?” But what can they say? Don Junior, AKA Eightball, says an inadvertent period added to the middle of a sentence is proof the Congressional Committee is altering documents attempting to frame conservatives. If that’s the best, you got kid, you’re finished.
Daddy knows that when you can’t help yourself by talking, it’s better to keep your mouth shut. Junior thinks he’s smart enough to talk his way out of this. Strategy error perhaps? It looks bad, but it looks even worse. I doubt that we’ve seen 5% of the evidence the January, 6th committee already have in hand. This is the point in the investigation where they begin to ask you a question, they already know the answer to. Just to see what sort of “Lord of the Rings” trilogy answer, you’ll come up with to try and save yourself.
Shawn Hannity and Laura Inghram, are apoplectic that their texts have been shared. They know like you and I, that great ratings don’t mean a thing if you bankrupt the company. That those bean counters upstairs with their calculators and slide rulers are figuring at this moment, the tipping point. When the continued employment of said Hannity and Inghram, becomes a liability and a financial hardship. It happens so often at Faux; I wouldn’t be surprised they had their own special elevator exit, like out of a James Bond film. The Bill O’Reilly, Roger Ailes Memorial ejection tube. A tube that drops you at your car, while the parking attendant scrapes off the parking permit from your windshield.
The committee has subpoenaed the phone records of Brad Parscale. Former Twump campaign manager accused of blowing through a billion dollars and leaving the Twump campaign nearly broke for the last month, before the election. That and Parscale was fired after being pranked by phony ticket orders, that forced Twump to speak to a half empty room. Parscale says, he can’t imagine why the committee would want his phone records, but he says that with a tremor in his voice. “Gee, why would they want my records? I was fired a month before the insur, oh.”
Parscale says he has nothing to hide. And if that is so, it should be no big whoop. Asked whether he would testify if subpoenaed, he gave no answer. Other than to say, “All of this makes me think they want me to turn on him.” (Twump) But what Parscale did not say was, “All of this makes me think they want me to turn on him” and he’s not guilty. No, Brad never mentions guilt or innocence, it’s like a foregone conclusion. He just doesn’t want to be the guy to point him out in the lineup at the police station and put the finger on him.
Ole Ben Franklin said, “The only way three men can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.” I’m not trying to make any suggestions, only to offer. The Watergate conspirators, plumbers’ wives and children and Pat Nixon herself, were probably never more than a couple hundred or so people. This scandal has at least 200 House members implicated. Plus, staff, proud boys, ex-wives etc. It means that if you don’t want to testify, someone else probably will. And maybe in their version of events, you don’t come off looking so good. There is no neutral zone in a Coup, you are loyal to the government, or you are not.
From PowerPoint presentations, phone records, photographs, video tape and closed-circuit TV. This has to be the best documented Coup De Tat attempt in world history. Some pundits are saying that the Democrats should make this their primary campaign issue in the elections. Is there another issue?
“If a rat is a good model for your emotional life, you’re in big trouble.” ― Robert M. Sapolsky