Once the J Man Comes

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

It’s happening again, but don’t panic. Stay calm, keep the doors locked and most of all, guard your phones. Outbreaks of this type are usually centered around Washington D. C. However, these events have been known to occur sporadically in other areas. Generally, it begins when some unlucky underage boy or girl, begin receiving genitalia related photographs from an alleged secret admirer.

Don’t be parochial and don’t be taken in. These things aren’t always as they first appear. Then when the youth in question does something rash or foolish, like calling the cops. Only then, is it disclosed how the youth was taken in and cruelly deceived by the criminals. While they admit the phone number in question is the number that sent the photos. And they do admit to owning that phone exclusively. But they have no knowledge whatsoever, how pictures of their erect penis ended up on that young person’s phone.

Someone must have crept in, in the middle of the night. Taken the phone from its charger and snuck into their bedroom. Snapped naked pictures of their erect member while they slept, replacing their underclothes, and then sent the photos to the youngster. Then, replaced the phone in the charger and Bob’s your uncle, crept away undiscovered.  

Don’t laugh, this just happened to former Texas Governor Rick Perry. Someone person or persons unknown, hacked into his phone and outlined an aggressive stance for overturning the then still  incomplete Presidential election in a text. Then sent the text to all his Republican friends and buddies. It wasn’t until Mark Meadows turned over a copy of the text to the January 6th Committee that Perry discovered that someone must have tampered with his phone!

With the naivety of children, they assumed no one would ever see these texts. “Meet me at the bank at 3:30 PM bring a gun, a mask and a Kroger sack. PS, but don’t tell anyone where you’re going!”

According to a low hanging fruit investigation done by the Daily Beast. Kanye West’s Presidential campaign wasn’t actually the organic ground swell of support by the African American community; it might have at first appeared to be. But was in fact, a cleaver ruse organized by Reich Wing operatives, affiliated with President Twump. And all I want to know is, who talked! Who spilled the beans on this cleaver, cleaver deception? Damn, how did they ever figure this out?

Why, isn’t it obvious? If we can run a rap star and close personal friend of Twump for President. Tens of thousands of African Americans will instantly desert Joe Biden. In favor of a candidate with similar melanin levels and rhythmic preferences. Who thought this bullshit up? Anyone willing to put forward a list of any possible candidate suggestions?

It would have to be someone inside the bubble. Someone older, who formed their ideas about race relations back in the early 1960s. An Archie Bunker type, who thinks African Americans will vote for anyone black and that Jews secretly control the world. Is the picture coming into focus? Evil hands doing evil things behind the scenes, with the sounds of basketballs and spirituals wafting from the slave cabins.

Former President Twump told Israeli Journalist Barak Ravid. The state of Israel once had absolute power over the US Congress, but no longer does because of Barack Obama and Joe Biden. Consider: With friends like that, who needs enemies? Isn’t it obvious? Twump says,  Obama and Biden got “a lot of votes from Jewish people” and said Jewish-Americans’ voting pattern, “tells you that … the Jewish people in the United States, either don’t like Israel or don’t care about Israel”. The New York Times hates Israel, even though Jewish people run it!

Twump went on to explain that there are people in this country that are Jewish that no longer love Israel as much as Evangelical Christians do. Do you believe that? Out harrumphed in their own promised land. The Evangelicals are gonna bring back Jesus and then won’t you look embarrassed? A bunch of bible thumping Ye ha newcomers brings back the messiah, after you’ve been working at it for all these thousands of years now.

Then, they will be in charge! This will become their promised land now! Once the  J man comes. I want all you Jews to line up and get baptized ASAP. The Evangelicals will show you newcomers, the ropes! And here’s some five dollar off coupons for my new restaurant chain, “Porkies Home Style Barbecue Sandwiches!” Sixteen locations in the greater Tel Aviv area! And remember our slogan; “Never mind what the Rabbi says, it’s just good eating!”

You see, Evangelical Christians tend to vote for Twump, while a majority of Jews do not. Ergo, Evangelical Christians love Israel more than the Jews. Twump warns, If you people know what’s good for you, you better wake up before the train leaves the station. I don’t even care about your secret blood rituals or manipulating the stock market. I just want you to love Israel more and vote for me!

Oafish and ham handed, no pun intended. Until it becomes sadly pathetic spectacle of pandering by race circa, 1965.

Kanye, Mr. West. Can I call you Uncle Kanye? Are you thirsty? I’ve got some cold forties of malt liquor chilling in the cooler, with some barbequed pork rinds. I’ve had the staff move the furniture back in case you get the sudden urge to do some break dancing. I have some wipes available for your overpriced untied athletic shoes. And you don’t have to pull up your pants on my account. And for you Rabbi? Some Mogan David with some nice Matza?

“In America the Struggle was befogged by the fact that the worst Fascists were they who disowned the word “Fascism” and preached enslavement to Capitalism under the style of Constitutional and Traditional Native American Liberty. For they were thieves not only of wages but of honor.” ― Sinclair Lewis

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