Twilight Zone Bozo Bus

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

I’ve been told since childhood to cheer up, that there are people out there who have it much worse than I. Being a child, I immediately thought, “I wonder who that very last guy is?” It’s physics; someone must be first in line, so someone must be that poor unfortunate, very last guy. The guy who has it worse off than anybody else, hands down. That man has finally been found and identified as a Mr. Ted Cruz of Houston, Texas.

Never before has a man gone on national television to debase and demean himself in repentance for using the “T” word. And they say the Left seeks political correctness. Ted Cruz, called Twumper’s Terrorists. That’s just not done old boy. You better get to apologizing and act like you mean it! All just threads in the tapestry, Twump won the election and January 6th was just a Boy Scout Jamboree coopted by the CIA. You must believe it all, every word. Or else, we will have to lock you in the closet again, or whatever punishment the Orange Bhagwan can dream up.

The commotion is such, you’d have thought Ted had married his thirteen-year-old cousin like Jerry Lee Lewis. It’s all just a question of timing, had Ted on the head not said what he said when there wasn’t a political bombshell brewing. With its steam whistle about to come up to operating pressure. Ted on the head could be forgiven for having said what he said.

If the Reich Wing media sphere didn’t have Ted’s outrageous remarks to ponder over, they might have to talk about the January 6th news. And lord knows, they don’t want to do that! “Let’s get Ted to apologize again, on little Tucker TV Dinner’s show!” Then he could do Sean Hannity’s show! Oh yeah, right. Skip that. Let’s talk around the news and talk about Ted.

As this universe collapses pushing the objects into smaller and smaller confines, collisions are bound to begin occurring, leading to unforeseen circumstances. Reports say that Twump was watching the insurrection on TV and backing it up occasionally, to watch violent parts over again. Moe Brooks was cheering, for the terrorists. It’s these troubling details that keep popping up that requires Ted’s time in the hot seat.

Times are tough right now at Faux News. Good economic numbers and the unvaccinated dying at three times the rate of the vaccinated which means. “Tonight, our special guest is Senator Ted Cruz.” Today ”today,” I can honestly say “say” I consider myself “myself” the most apologetic man on the face of the Earth “Earth.”

A Gump, a palooka boxing dummy. “Go in and spar for a couple of rounds, then you can take your dive. “Coming up after the break, how Sparks the lost puppy finally found his way home! Then Eric Twump will join us to tell us all about what he did over the holidays.”

I imagine that the booking of guests at Faux has become somewhat chaotic, with names lined out on the wall never to be called again. Let’s see, Liz Cheney nope. Mike Flynn, double nope. Rudy Guiliani, are you crazy? Mike Lindell? Stepanie Grisham? How about Dick Cheney? “Haven’t you heard? He’s gone over to the other side. He criticized Twump and so must face the ultimate penalty of shunning. His likeness will be removed from the temples and his name from all public buildings. And his name shall never be spoken among us ever, ever again, under penalty of stoning.”

Under no circumstances are you allowed to question or criticize Twump ever! And if you do, even your reputation as a blackhearted, deceitful war criminal won’t save you!

That was then and this is now, and by today’s Twump standards Dick Cheney is a Nancy Pelosi panty wearing, Sierra Club member, ACLU, whale saving Liberal! A RINO, he spoke against the King. It doesn’t matter what he said against the King. It was crime enough, just to think it. Just think, a few years ago this man was so evil that he didn’t even throw a shadow, and now he’s not good enough for them!

Remember, Twump gave the soldier his medals and rank back, after being Court Martialed for murdering children in the war that Dick Cheney started. Sure, you remember! Saddam had WMDs and something to do with 9-11 which was pure outright fabrication. And now, after all he’s done to America and the Republican Party to be cast aside, because he’s no longer considered mean and crazy enough. His lies border on truth sometimes, with actual facts in them, where is the fun in that? At least with Twump you know ahead of time where you stand. It’s gonna be bullshit, 100% pure American Hokum.

Mike Lindell has been given more chances than the mayor’s son to explain the secret evidence he’s compiled of voter fraud, “D-r-i-n-k  m-o-r-e O-v-a-l-t-i-n-e.” Yet despite press conferences, symposiums and Encounter Weekends, nothing of any substance has yet to be produced. But this is a political Party where dead people suddenly spring back to life, so evidence is mere sprinkles on a cupcake. But ask yourself, given the choices; Would you rather remain dead slowly decomposing under the earth, or be Twump’s running mate in 2024?

Who gets to decide? Just imagine a guy making all that effort of coming back from the dead and then Twump picks some other dead guy like Chris Christy. Oh, the humiliation and sting, returning to eternity empty handed and looking foolish for your efforts. “Well, I thought he was going to pick me. I guess I came back to life for nothing. I guess I better go lay down now.”

It’s the Twilight Zone Bozo Bus, just let the air out of your shoes and believe friend. If you have a question, just speak right up Ah, Clem. We will be happy to explain it to you! The election was stolen by votes brought in on aircraft from North Korea. Even though the US is still technically at war with North Korea, and any North Korean aircraft approaching our shores would shot down or diverted.

And because ballots are numbered would have to be coordinated with the Board of Elections ahead of time which contains both Republicans and Democrats. But that’s what happened! Then computer software companies used their computer software to flip Twump votes for Biden, even though their software was never used in that state. But that’s what happened! A massive conspiracy and cover up involving thousands.

Either that, or Twump has been lying to us all along.

“If hell’s in store for us someday, one of its most refined forms of torture will be to lock a person naked in a room filled with framed photos of his era.”  ― Günter Grass

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