It was Hippies in a Van

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

You saw the bell struck, but can you hear the bell ringing? Chief Yellow Tie Jimmy Jordan says, he won’t testify before Congress about what went on in Congress, while he was serving in Congress back on January 6th.  The bank guard who held the door for the robbers and called one of them Frank. Refuses to testify, lest you think that he had something to do with the robbery. “What did you do at work today, Jim?” None of your God damn business !

On the horns of a sticky dilemma, he’s the nail that is sticking up. The loose thread in the carpet. If he hadn’t said that he had spoken to the President, he wouldn’t be in this fix. But it was the usual big Jimmy puffery talk, “I’ve spoken with the President.” And then the crowd looked back and answered, “Oh yeah? You did huh? You spoke to the Cheeto yourself? What exactly did he say, pray, tell?”

Well, I think it was him, but now that you mention it, I’m not completely sure. What time? You know, it was that time of day when I discovered my watch stopped, so I’m not really sure. How many times? I guess as many times as a fella needs to talk to another fella and not one word more. Oh, the Irony! Mr. Snide questioner himself, called on his own rug. This is so good; it should prevent suicides. This is worth sticking around for.

Mr. Torquemada, will you please take the stand? By refusing to testify voluntarily, he’s moved himself to the star witness category, certain to be subpoenaed to testify. It would have been simple enough to say, “sure” and kick the can down the road. Dodging and avoiding, bobbing, and weaving. “I’m not certain, I’d have to check into that. I don’t have that information in front of me.”

But, by answering that he refuses to voluntarily testify, makes him the water buffalo broken from the herd and about to be pounced on by the predators. Like any good Cops episode, where the one guy breaks from the crowd and starts running down the street with his shirt off. If you run, they are going to chase you! So, why do it? Because the Kamikaze pilot wants to show his loyalty to the emperor. “I refuse, do you hear me! Refuse!”

In an opposed cylinder engine, as the crankshaft pushes up pistons in one cylinder bank, it pulls them down in the other. The two are locked in a symbiotic relationship, Romulus can’t escape Remus. New revelations to the closeness of an almost insanely idiotic relationship, between the Faux News hosts and Kim Don Twump. And as the Twump Administration face plants and disintegrates with showers of a thousand sparks. Faux News finds most, if not all, of their major talent (Talent- legal definition only) involved eyeballs deep in a political scandal.

While at the same time about to be sued for several billion dollars. For intentionally posting false information in the midst of a political scandal on said host’s programs. It’s a dead body floating in the pool. The very last thing they needed to see right now. “We were tied to the Administration at the hip!”

Leaving Lewis Carroll and life through the looking glass aside, the strangeness and bizarre nature of the relationship cannot be overlooked. In every dystopic fiction, the media operation is ram rodded by the toughs in the Administration. While in this one, the media operation ran the Administration in a muddled course to nowhere.  “Well, I asked Judge Jeannie and she said no, but Sean thinks I ought to nuke the hell out of them.” Big Brother isn’t supposed to ask Winston for his opinion.

The President of the United States was asking TV actors for their advice and then taking it. Now, Twump was a media star himself; it’s an act. He should know that. They don’t really know what they’re talking about, it’s an act. It’s like a Barney episode, after “I love you, you love me” there’s not much meat left on the bone. Not since Rasputin, has there been such a bizarre case of influence peddling.

But little Stephanie Grisham wasn’t afraid to tell the committee some new names, that they haven’t heard before. Grisham was caught in the rip tide, too pretty to go to prison and too poor to stay out. We’ve reached that point of  “We’ve struck an Iceberg and its every person for themselves.”

Margie Greene took to her official Congressional Twitter account, after being permanently banned from her personal, Twitter account. To share the message that all Conservatives should stay off Twitter, because they are unfair to Conservatives. Don’t read any Twitter messages, even if they’re from me!

The orange nightmare fleshes out his latest mind puke, looking for the murderers on the golf course theory. That it was Federal Agents who coopted a peaceful Jan 6th rally. Putting the Theremin to the test as to just how whacky and far out do you really want to go here? We’re talking spaceships over the Capitol. After just telling a crowd of people to fight like hell, to now claim that it was someone else. Matt Gaetz says it was Hippies in a van. But was it Hippies or was it Beatniks, Matt? To the uniformed they are easily confused.

Both are poorly groomed and complain about Capitalism a lot in nihilist performance, and both enjoy syncopated music. But Beatniks tend to reject modern society and pop culture, and spout Kerouac. While Hippies, tend to explore pop culture in a cafeteria style, while spouting Ginsberg and Timothy Leary. Hippies seek to fight climate change, while Beatniks accept the premise “We are all going to die…man. Get over it.”

So, which was it? It’s important, the FBI needs know. If we’re ever going  to hunt down these coffee house swilling, poetry spouting radical Hippies or Beatniks. Did they look like Bob Denver on Dobey Gillis?  Or Tommy Chong in that’s 70s Show? Was there a bumper sticker that read, “Nixon’s the one, a big one!” on the back of the van?

Did they have electric guitars or Bongo drums? What kind of van was it? We are past the point of surreal here. Are you sure it wasn’t Leprechauns or elves? Like the tolling of the iron bell, flying apart like a cheap Mickey Mouse watch. Hippies in a van in 2022! Maybe it was John Wilkes Booth or Lee Harvey Oswald, come back to life with their new  bestie, JFK Jr.

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