That’s Where We Want to Go

 (AP Photo/Ross D. Franklin) Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

How did I miss this event, almost literally in my back yard? Donald Twump on his “Thanks for the Memories Tour” visited Florence, Arizona, just right down the road from me here in Casa Grande. Just like when the Twumpster visited Perry, Georgia, and I had lived up the road a piece in Atlanta. The two locations have much in common and clearly weren’t chosen at random.

Both are small towns in rural areas. Large enough to draw a crowd without much competition. The biggest thing to hit town since the monster truck rally. Both are in counties the former Usurper in chief had carried in the last election. Do you see the contradiction? Twump is going to communities where he won the election, to explain how he was cheated in the election. In states, formerly solidly Republican safe states, that he lost in the last election.

I had watched a documentary about the Beach Boys. About how their career had taken a turn so sour that they were forced to play a tour of National Guard armories and nursing homes. The biggest thing to hit town since the monster truck rally.

Bundled in a heavy coat against the cool Arizona evening, to protect himself from the weather. While protecting the crowd from views of his expanding corpulence and appearing without a tie. Retirement has gained a foothold, maybe next time he won’t shave or maybe appearing wearing his bathrobe and slippers. The old spit and polish was missing. New year, but same Twump.

“The fake news and the lamestream media … they refused to talk about it.”  “They say, ‘well it is unsubstantiated and the big lie.’ The big lie. The big lie is a lot of bullshit. That’s what it is.”

Proof? What do I need with proof? I just told you it was so. Do you dare to question the Sun King?

“That was a lie! They don’t want to talk about it! Guess what? I’ve got Mike Lindell with me here tonight, and you just won’t believe the shocking, shocking news that he has for YOU! “I wish they all could be California girls; I wish they all could be California girls.” Jerry Lee doesn’t seem to play with the same enthusiasm since the nuptials. The show sells well in minor markets, provided you bring along the original Broadway cast and keep the ticket prices set at free.”

“I’ve got two or maybe three, really fine, fine congressman here with me tonight. There’s what’s his name and Tweedledum and a chick.” I mention them because it’s just like the good old days. When we used to look at the photo taken from the Moscow May Day parade to see who was missing from the Kremlin balcony. Do you notice who is missing this year?

Everybody, except for three local Republican congressman and Mike Lindell. For the congress people, it’s the biggest thing to hit town since the monster truck rally. For Mike Lindell, its another trip around the Fuhrer bunker. Another chance to profess his love, his devotion, and his delusion. Is this guy not married or what? Does he not have a partner to tell him to wake the fuck up and smell the Starbucks?

See, Twump is at war on several fronts. There’s Mitch McConnell of course, and then there is the Governor of Arizona, Doug Ducy. The former child star of the short-lived action series, “Johnny Quest has Two Daddies.” Twump is at war with Johnny; I mean Doug, because Doug certified the election in Arizona as his lawful job dictated, despite Twump disliking it. Even after three election recounts proved Ducy was correct, Twump still doesn’t like it. “How about a little fire Scarecrow!”

Likewise in Georgia, Georgia Governor Brian Kemp has allowed an investigation into Trump’s attempts to manipulate the votes totals to continue. Twump responds by attacking the Republican Party by attempting to primary Kemp with a hand-picked candidate. But Kemp narrowly won the election, a primary candidate will almost certainly hand the office to a Democrat. “And your little dog too!”

NASA trains it’s astronauts in an airplane fondly nicknamed the Vomit Comet. It simulates weightlessness by flying up at an angle and then putting the plane into a mild dive. Like going over a bump in a car at just the right speed. Simulating what used to be, before gravity and reality took hold. Pretending that things are still as he wishes them to be. “Gee, it’s great to be the President again. Even if its only for and hour or two, here in Florence.”

Damn near Shakespearian, “See: Norma Desmond in her finest role!” Julius Caesar waits on the train platform commanding a train to come, that has long ago left the station. Sunset at Camp Mira Lago! Flight of the Valkyries, original Broadway cast. In the words of Led Zeppelin. “Oooh, and it makes me wonder.”

Who is this show being staged for? The public? Fellow Republicans? Or for the participant himself? Twump had planned to speak to the nation on January 6th but blinked. Why? What’s the point of this dog and pony show now? “It’s the one week after Christmas Special!” Who is he trying to convince that he has something new to say? Us or himself? When all he says is the same thing regurgitated over and over and over.

Steve Bannon, career criminal on the loose and thug about town, said recently on his podcast.  That there were plans afoot to decertify the electors who chose Joe Biden and to replace them with Twump electors. There by making Twump President again. And the suckers believed him! No such organ or mechanism of government exists in the known universe. You might as well say, the space Aliens are going to come down from the heavens and declare Twump President for life! Absolute fantasy in a Zombie apocalypse. See: National Enquirer, best of.

But on a cool winter’s night in Arizona, the house lights went down as the orchestra began to play. “Those were the days my friend. We thought they’d never end. We’d sing and dance forever and a day!” Cue the Rockettes and the fireworks display! “They love me! They still love me!”

Aruba, Jamaica, oh I want to take you to
Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego, baby why don’t we go
Oh I want to take you down to
Kokomo, we’ll get there fast and then we’ll take it slow
That’s where we want to go, way down in Kokomo 
– McKenzie Scott/ Mike Love

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