No Matter What Grand Pa Thinks

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

It was many years ago, in a politically incorrect cartoon when an enraged Bugs Bunny engaged in acts of vandalism. To protest the low bounty placed on rabbits, he stole the locks off the Panama Canal and sawed Florida off from the continental United States. I think it’s time to fund a feasibility study for that project. Or maybe build a wall? I hear wall projects are all the rage these days. Maybe a wall with a one-way gate and maybe an observation deck. So, we can keep an eye on them. So, when they begin to devour each other, we can step in.

I remember a full-fledged boycott of South Carolina once, over the Confederate flag. Conventions were cancelled or Golf tournaments moved. You have a right to be any way you would like to be in this country, even an asshole. But you don’t have a right to make a living at it. See how that balances out? But never in my wildest dreams, did I ever imagine a state in this union.  This is very important, write this down if you can’t remember. Fascism requires an enemy!

Someone to focus the Party’s attentions on and blame failings on. Stalin called them wreckers. Orwell called them Goldstein. McCarthy called them Communists. Twump called them Hispanics. Hitler called them Jews, and Governor DeSantis calls them Gay.

Old Adolf didn’t have any love in his heart for Catholics either, but there were too many of them to persecute, all at once. Who would work in the munition factory and drive the tanks? Instituting official laws for political reasons. Based on moral judgments of personal beliefs. The official position of the state is… my position. But if your state or political Party, or religious affiliation tries to paint others in a lessor light. Not to be spoken about to school children, run.

A law without a purpose other than headlines. If you pass a law against speaking to children about being Gay. Then you must have already been speaking to school children about being Gay! Fanning the flames of stereotype, stereo tripe, and bigotry. The lowest form of politics, whipping people into a frenzy about their neighbors and relatives, accused of trying to bring down society from the inside. Step two: add in mystery and suspicion, that there are always alternative motives and foul play a foot. Why do they speak Yiddish? What’s wrong with speaking German?

Maybe they aren’t really Germans at all. Maybe they aren’t as good a German, as you and I? Do you know what other politicians propose and pass anti-Gay and anti-Transgender legislation? You’re gonna laugh, and think I’m just shooting fish in a barrel, but Vladimir Putin. Not that I’m trying to say DeSantis is anywhere near a Vladimir Putin. Would that he could, because all that’s lacking is the personality and the arm band. Water and politicians seek their own level. DeSantis is instituting his own election police force, loyal and obligated only to him. What could possibly go wrong there?

The Nazis in the name of voter security, stationed a soldier inside the voting booth. To make certain, that no one, unfairly influenced you in your choice to vote for the Nazi Party. With all the problems in the world today. How could it be, that talking to small children could reach so high on the agenda? Homer sprays out a quart of charcoal starter on to the barbeque grill and then tosses a match.

But it’s the same old story, “all that is necessary for evil to triumph, is for good people to say nothing.”

Disney CEO, Bob Chapek, remained silent throughout the discussion of the “Don’t Say Gay” bill. Not to imply that Bob is in any way a good person. It’s a yet another Republican torpedo aimed at the reputation of the public schools.  

There was a time in this country, when Disney stood for everything that was good and right and wholesome, and then jammed it down your throat. There was a time when you couldn’t even get in the park. If you were wearing a peace sign or wearing an American flag on your blue jeans. And if your jeans were ripped or faded, you might as well just wait in the car.

Then Disney MBAs woke up and said, “What the fuck? They got money in their pockets! We’ll just preach white-bread morality and look the other way at the gate! But as Bob is (For time being, Madam Sophia, predicts change in his Astrology.) the CEO of the state’s most high profile, tax revenue producing employers. His silence was interpreted as support and complicity. And folks began to say that they couldn’t be any more disappointed in Bob over his silence, than they were right now. But then Bob broke that silence and proved them all wrong.

It wasn’t like Bob ever supported the bill. Oh no, to the contrary. He was working behind the scenes, trying to bring about change through his silence. Much like OJ, was looking the killers on the golf course. The kinda guy who would meet with the Klan behind the scenes, to bring about change. “They know me over there, maybe they’ll listen to me if I keep my mouth shut. I can’t get fired for saying the wrong thing, if I keep my mouth shut. Oh wait, Yes, I can.”

So, Bob has had an epiphany. And has seen the error of his ways and promises in tears and sack cloth, to try and do better by his LBGTQ brothers and sisters. The boys upstairs at Disney have promised to pause and reflect, and reevaluate on their political giving until they are absolutely certain, that the public is no longer paying attention.

Big Daddy Ed Roth took his penchant for auto shop and art class, and turned it into a fortune. He was a champion of being different, and openly called himself a weird-o. He said, it was okay to be weird. Or to be anything else you want to be, no matter what Grand Pa says about it. Living in Anaheim, California, when Disneyland was the biggest show in town.

Roth became disgusted by the goody two shoes morality, and squeaky-clean Mickey Mouse image. When it was all just another con, designed to suck the money from the pockets of the tourists and the out of towners. He came up with his own alternative character of RAT FINK. The anti-Disney, anti-Mickey Mouse. What Mickey really looks like with his make up off.

What Florida really looks like, with it’s make up off. If we are going boycott a state over a flag, we should cut Florida off the continent entirely and set her a drift into the Atlantic Ocean, at least economically.

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