For Sale: Slightly Used Theme Park

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

I think that he is the most dangerous man in America, after the wreckage of Donald Twump of course. Smooth move Exlax, ask Putin for another favor, while you’re at it. Reports say the Twump Rally outside Commerce, Georgia, was a bust. “I’m not involved in Russia; I just ask them for favors all the time!”

The bust should have been expected, Commerce has really nice a drag strip as well as several taverns with cable televisions and video games. A plethora of entertainment choices. You know, they took Andy Griffith and Star Trek off Netflix, but the old guy thinks he can pedal his old reruns forever.

Shhh, don’t tell him its over. It will only upset him. Soon, we will only talk about the “good” rallies. Then that will get him to smiling again. And then the nurse can feed him his stewed prunes, while looks at his picture book before bath time. “Are you, my Mommy?” Gone but not forgotten, forgotten but not gone.

For the most dangerous man in America today, think Vladmir Putin with a suntan, holding a glass of orange juice. He’s a proponent of efficient and streamlined government. You don’t need a legislature, and you don’t need courts, except to sue people, with ME around!

Just let Chairman Ron DeSantis decide. Because if he doesn’t get his way, he gets really angry and starts threatening people. And like Vlad, that means those around him fear ever telling him the truth. Those with integrity have long since departed this roller coaster of madness; this ride is for hangers on only. You must be at least this low and servile to ride!

Chairman Desantis picked a new State Surgeon General. Who only lacks official qualifications on paper.  He is a physician, but not a stethoscope around his neck, open wide and say “Ah” doctor. But the “open your books to page 27 doctors.” He’s a bureaucrat, who happens to agree whole heartedly with the Chairman’s expert medical assessments, so he’s in.

But why does a state need its own Surgeon General anyway? Isn’t one enough? Are health emergencies so different and prevalent that Florida needs its own Surgeon General? I mean, besides gator bites, chiggers, and trophy size jelly fish. Besides agreeing with the Chairman, what does he really do? If the Chairman is in favor of an antibody treatment costing thousands of taxpayer dollars, so is the Surgeon General. They agree that it is far superior course, to a vaccination costing around $12.00.

And if someone comes along and tries to make the little school children wear a mask during a worldwide pandemic, he’s ready to fight. He loves to fight, the bantam rooster Audie Murphy, out to win the culture war all by himself. He’s out to fight government for you. For god sakes, the Governor should decide the health protocols for the schools, isn’t that what we elected him for?

In a state literally top heavy with condo’s filled with the Yankee’s elderly relatives. It’s the Chairman who decides if the state should investigate the collapse of one of those building filled with old people. But the Chairman decides “No.” No need to investigate. See? That’s less government for you! Now, with even more litigation!

But Chairman Ron doesn’t care, you’re paying for his attorneys. So, when two University of Florida Professors were hired as expert witnesses in a lawsuit against Chairman Ron. Ron sued in court to try and have them silenced, under threat of dismissal. You can’t say things in Florida the Chairman doesn’t like, round here boy. Damn, that first amendment! Mamby pamby Constitution, won’t let the Chairman use his power to shut people up!

The battling culture warrior ready to fight about anything, just as long as there is a camera pointed at him. During the pandemic, the federal government had a program to offer additional foods stamps for families with children learning at home. Children not having access to a school lunchroom.  A 24-million-dollar program to feed hungry children. All the Chairman had to do was pick up the phone and say, “Yes, we want it.”

But you know what? Fuck a bunch of hungry school kids, right? Conservatives don’t care about hungry children. We’re tough Conservatives, choose your parents wisely you little punk! Pull yourself up by your own booty straps, you little crumb crunchers! And they also don’t give a fuck about the Florida grocery store owners, who lost out on a 24-million-dollar windfall either. “Hell no, the kids of Florida would rather go hungry,” because the Chairman has decided!

Then the Chairman picked a fight with the cruise lines, by making it illegal to ask their passengers if they had been vaccinated. If the cruise line couldn’t ask or didn’t ask, and a Party boat filled with passengers later became a hospital ship, they would be sued out of business. The cruise lines won in court, under the principle of it’s not up to Chairman, to try and run the cruise lines. But it is a clear symptom of Putin detachment syndrome, these are the very people that he needs to cultivate, not aggravate.

His isolation and Putinization is almost complete. There is no bigger fish in Florida, than the Florida Money Mouse fish. (Disneyus Denary Raticus Americanus) Chairman Ron finds himself embroiled in mud wrestling with Money Mouse, with the help of Faux News.

Chairman Ron only offers legislation that gives him more power or gets his face on more TVs. So, when Chairman Ron proposed his “Don’t Say Gay and get my face on the news more often legislation.” Disney was mute, mute as the silence of a pin dropping. They just ran their little roller coasters and sold their little ice cream cones, and pretended that they weren’t even listening.

Then as the legislation moved forward, the public began to pressure Disney for their opinion. Disney responded with two packages of Jell-O and two pounds of sugar. “Well gee, I hadn’t really thought about it much but though, I might not personally like the legislation myself. I’m going to try and bring about change from the inside by remaining totally silent about it. Right, the same way you join the Klan to bring about change from the inside. Those boys just need a good talking too.

Not surprisingly, his answer satisfied no one. Half a loaf is tantamount to treason to Chairman Ron! So, Disney puts its thumb in the air counts the gate receipts and decides, “You know what? I’m almost certain that we’re sort of against this legislation, kind of.”

Enter Faux News, As I was scrolling through You Tube, I noticed  the Faux News thumbnails were referring to Disney’s wokeness. DeSantis calls in the artillery to pummel Disney, with the worst slur imaginable on conservative television…Woke! How dare Disney Corporation have even their own lukewarm opinions. This is for the Chairman to decide! The Chairman decides what you can tell the school children. The Chairman decides who really won the swim meet. Maybe the Chairman should have him arrested with his new private police force.

Now the Chairman has decided to scrap and fight, with the state’s largest employer and take away their autonomous self-governing status. He will have to count on dark money for his Presidential run. I don’t think the cruise lines, the public-school teachers or Disney or any other theme park, will be in any hurry to donate.

For Sale: Slightly Used Theme Park. Real Money Maker! Once in a lifetime opportunity! Visit Disney World Savanah! All new and better than ever! Opening Spring 2026!

Never challenge a man with an ocean to squirt gun fight.

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