Room 205? Three O’clock?

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

This little bone of history will be chewed on for some years to come. It was of a large interest of mine in the argument over Draft soldiers vs. Professional soldiers. As a young man of seventeen, I thought it was obvious. If you’re trying to build a really good army, it is probably best not to coerce people like me vs. prison to participate. You remember detention in high school…right? Room 205? Three o’clock?

But the Russian Army has settled that draft question once and for all. Vladimir Putin tried to steal a little girl’s lollipop and got his ass kicked. And when I say kicked, think 1940s animation with a mule kicking someone’s ass clear over the moon! North of Kyiv, that Russian force heading south from Belarus have stumbled over their own feet. Trying push in the clutch to get that tank into reverse, and get the hell out of Dodge. They are now cut off in a pocket and surrounded by Ukrainian forces. Stalingrad 2.0 They came to surround Kyiv and ended up surrounded outside Kyiv.

I had wondered what Putin meant, when he said he was going to redirect his forces. What? Is he going to take them from the north and move them to the south? Can you just start a war and walk away like that? If the war news gets the best of you? Fuck you! We’ll go fight those other guys! And walk away and just say bye! It seems the Russian retreat has been at least as well organized as their advance. When these events are studied in the war colleges of the world. It will be with a great deal of head shaking and condescension, with undercover knowing fuck up smiles.

The modern battlefield is set up like a chess board with scouts in front, and the artillery in the back of the field. Now the Ukrainians for security reasons, can’t really talk about their successes. But they put on display captured artillery. The artillery that was once in the Russian rear, and so must be the Ukrainians. It appears Putin’s retreat advice to his solders, is to do the best you can fellers. North is that way! We’ll see you in the funny papers. As lines of Russians were headed north on the only road out of town, the Ukrainians attacked this convoy, cutting it in two and leaving behind this pocket.

It has also been a lesson taught about trying to run a war on the cheap, by cutting corners. The Russians, due to the high cost of those fancy laser guided missiles, costing upward of tens of thousands of dollars apiece. Are using their fighter bombers costing forty million dollars to drop dumb bombs, costing a hundred bucks or so. Only to do that effectively, the supersonic super expensive aircraft must fly low and slow, to have any hope at all of accuracy. Think B-17s over Berlin.

But the Russian military is not the only one that needs some re-examination. For the last fifty years or so, I was taught that average Russian soldier was nine feet tall with steel teeth, and a sharp blonde crew cut. This super soldier in his state-of-the-art war machine that would coming pouring over the border. While we stood by helpless as a girl scout troop against the onslaught. Instead, we get Yuri, who never did like school all that much.  How did we get that so wrong?

“Yuri, Yuri! Hurry up. We’re all waiting! Tell them we changed the oil in all the tanks and rotated the tires on all the trucks. Come on, fill out your paperwork, we haven’t got all day!”

Let the kids in detention run the army. We can trust them! It’s a case of “You don’t care about us, so we don’t care about you. So, you don’t care about us, so we don’t care about you. You only see officers occasionally, so you answer blindly yes or no, to whatever questions they may ask and begin to screw off just as soon as they leave. Sure, sure, we replaced that defective engine in that tank.

In an aerial drone video released by the Ukrainians, a Russian armored vehicle is parked in the back yard of a residence. Seconds before the drone strike next to the vehicle is a Russian soldier sprawled out on the patio furniture apparently sound asleep. And only awakened by the sounds of the drone strike. “Yuri! Keep your eyes peeled, there could be drones about!”

Modern war is about specialization as the Ukrainians have captured a Russian missile loader (Also found in the rear with the artillery.) It was a big six-ton crane truck type vehicle dealy. That loaded those big missiles on to those big missile launchers. I bet that one crane dealy serviced a least ten or twenty of those big missile launchers. Without it, the Russians are going to be hard pressed to launch any of those big missiles. “Where is Yuri with that damn crane?”

A video of the assault on the Russian convoy showed why time and time again, the Russians perform so well in Olympic track and field events. That first missile hit, and those soldiers were crawling out of their vehicles like fire ants and hurtling over obstacles in the woods. “Guys, guys! Come back, the convoy can’t get anywhere if you all keep running away at every missile strike. It will take us at least an hour to round everyone up, somebody find Yuri, he took the keys.

The Ukrainian propaganda has been near perfect. The mirror opposite of the Russian assault. Soldiers playing the flute and old beautiful grandmother babushkas crying their eyes out at the sight of returning Ukrainian soldiers. Hungry people trying to give their food to the soldiers. And everyday sending a message of Ukrainian victory and of Russian defeat.

The Ukraine’s sunk a Russian warship ship in the Black Sea. Then sunk a couple more ships in the harbor. “Remember those supplies you said that you desperately needed? And I told you that they were coming right away? Well, there’s been a slight hold up.”

So, the old adage says, you rise to your level of incompetence. And so, Yuri was promoted to a general in military intelligence. A clear case of the cream rising to the top. “Yuri, could the Ukrainians possibly blow up our supply ship in the harbor?” Impossible! “Yuri, could the Ukraine’s fly helicopters and attack our fuel depot inside Russia?” Impossible, that could never happen sir!

“Yuri, are all the vehicles ready for combat?” Yes sir! “The oil has been changed and the engines repaired? The tires have all been rotated?” Yes sir! “The men are trained and prepared for combat?” Yes sir! “There’s no chance then that we could lose?” Yes sir! Are you just saying yes sir to every question I ask?” Yes sir! “So, you’re all just a bunch of yes men, saying yes sir, no matter what I ask?” Yes sir!

“Yuri, have the men finished digging the trenches around Chernobyl yet?” Not yet sir, there’s a flu bug  or something, going around. A lot of men on sick call with nausea and hair loss, but we will finish it up right away sir!

You remember detention in high school…right? Room 205? Three o’clock?

“There is no other way to guard yourself against flattery than by making men understand that telling you the truth will not offend you.”
― Niccolò Machiavelli

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