By David Glenn Cox
In the 1947 film “Miracle on 34th Street”, they’re trying to put Santa Claus into a “Rest home.” And the judge in the case is ready to go along with the idea. Until he sees the mail bags filled with the thousands of letters. He quickly realizes that if he convicts Santa, his political career is over. Flash forward to the real live sort of world of Texas.
Governor Bubba Abbott, in an attempt bolster his angry conservative bonifides. And to prove despite the rumors, he just as crazy as the rest of them. A cleverly passed anti-abortion restriction making abortion illegal, in all but name. Lights, camera, Applause! “Look Ma, I’m on the 700 Club talking to Pat Robertson! I’m a real national contender now!”
But then the victim young, poor, and scared came along. Forced into a situation she couldn’t escape from because she didn’t have the money, and forced to injure herself for relief. It makes you wonder what some people wouldn’t do or say, to reach office. Like Vietnam, if daddy could get you into Dumb Fuck U or the Coast Guard or get a doctor to say you have bone spurs. Then you didn’t have to go to Vietnam. We’ll just draft more poor people!
But then that victim turned up and now, someone was going have to prosecute this case. Someone was going to become a figure of national prominence and attention! Known far and wide, as the ringmaster of the new Scope’s Monkey Trial! With people spitting on him in restaurants and throwing rocks at his dog. Picture the scene in front of the courthouse on the opening day of the trial. With thousands and thousands of protestors, filled the love of the holy spirit. And just about ready to kill one another over it. It would make January 6th look like Mormon picnic.
And this trial shouldn’t last more than a couple of weeks, a month tops! Jury selection was going to be a real barn burner. But then they began to understand that to prosecute this woman, would be prosecuting themselves. The victim isn’t on trial here; the unjust law is. Thousands of Pro-choice demonstrators holding fundraisers and voter registration drives, during an election year! The woman is gonna come across looking like Mary’s poor little lost lamb. And the Republicans were going to look like the kind of guys who would try to chloroform Santa Claus at Christmas.
Bubba gets his headlines and attention; but the prosecutor gets a huge Hungry Man shit sandwich, and has his head handed to him on a platter. Go ahead and stick your head in the guillotine, so we can see if it works. They put the legal machine in (R) for reverse and have decided not to prosecute. Excuse me, if I sound like Cheech and Chong here, “but you can’t shoot our clown head and then just say, okay you guys are free to go.” You started something here, don’t pull that chicken shit switch on us now!
What’s the status of the law that says prosecute, and no one dare prosecute? A tacit admission that they know what they have done was wrong. Otherwise, they would be eager to prosecute and seek the maximum penalty available under law. No one wants to play with Governor Bubba’s ugly baby. They are in a real fix here. They can’t just decline to prosecute, or what about the next victim? Can they just decline to prosecute her too? And then, they’ll be another one and they’ll have to let her off, because they didn’t prosecute the first two.
The Texas Republicans and Governor Bubba passed this law trying to look good, but they didn’t think much about enforcement. How they’ll look sending poor teenagers and young women off to prison, against the backdrop of a sympathetic public. The Covid hit Texas real hard, there aren’t as many Republicans walking around vertical as there used be. Gee, but I bet proselytizing is a lot more fun than prosecution. It’s way more fun to play at government than it is to actually work at it. All that talk and paperwork with nights on Faux News. All crashing to the ground and burning and causing a huge legal mess.
Meanwhile in America’s largest open air giant cock roach trading center, seafood restaurant, and rice steamer. Fuhrer Desantis warns Georgians against electing Stacey Abrams for governor. Promising a Cold War with Georgia. What the hell wrong with that guy? A governor of an American state threating another state, if they dare choose a leadership that he doesn’t like. Good thing Georgia’s already in NATO.
“If Stacey Abrams is elected governor of Georgia, I just want to be honest, that will be a cold war between Florida and Georgia,” he said. “I can’t have [former Cuban communist leader Raul] Castro to my south and Abrams to my north, that would be a disaster. So, I hope you guys take care of that and we’ll end up in good shape.”
Cuba is ninety miles from Florida, across open waters. Unless you’re Jesus, you can’t walk it. Castro’s not going to invade Miami, it’s far too dangerous after dark. They’d be too out gunned. So, what the hell kind of nonsense is this guy talking about? Scary Communists are just ninety miles away! And Stacey Abrams is just like Raul Castro. Write this down, Stacey Abrams is a Communist. That’s what he’s getting at, tying Abrams with Raul Castro.
Complete and total bullshit, fighting with Disney and threatening the state’s largest employer. I say this with all kidding aside. Think how the maintenance budget and building depreciation could be enhanced by building a brand-new theme park, somewhere else in the southeastern United States. Disney World is forty years old and that’s a lot bad plumbing, old, cracked concrete and loose shingles. You can only remodel so much, before you just have to go with all new.
Fuhrer DeSantis seeks the Republican nomination for President, even if he has to destroy Florida to get it. Living in Twump’s fart cloud, the goal is to out the extreme the extreme, and out the crazy out crazy. Governor Bubba sent the Texas National Guard down to the border as stunt to get on TV. The guardsman are bored and lonely, and sick to death of their situation of doing nothing. Governor Bubba sent them to the border as a political campaign stunt, without a way of backing down. Without any way to declare victory and come home. Departures from the guard will be swift and enrollment slowed for years to come.
Over in Mississippi, Republican Governor Pappy Big Tate Reeves, put his thumbs under his suspenders and proudly announces the largest tax cut in Mississippi history. A half a billion dollars taken off the books. For a state near the bottom in education. A state near the bottom in public health and in infrastructure, and in environmental protection. And a state just about at the bottom every category you never want to be at the bottom of. The third world in a Central time zone. Welcome to Bangladesh, ya’ll!
A disgraceful display at the palace of Versailles at Natchez. The Republicans of Mississippi have decided they’ve paid enough in taxes, and decided to take all their money back. Let them eat cake ya’ll! Good Republican government, tax cuts, tax cuts, tax cuts, fuck you and tax cuts! They just don’t give a shit about nothing but themselves, that, and which bathroom the Transsexuals use.
“How many times do you have to get hit over the head until you figure out who’s hitting you.” ― Harry S. Truman