By David Glenn Cox
Lt. Colonel Vindeman says that Twump is losing it intellectually. This type of thing is best left to trained experts in intelligence, such as Vindeman. As the distances travelled and amounts compiled might not correspond directly. There has to be a starting point to measure from and how can that ever be determined by mere amateurs?
Many a high-powered professionals living for that once-a-week Golf game find retirement and Golf everyday boring. No important meetings to attend customers to schmooze or goals to achieve. just relax and watch “The People’s Court.” And I’ll have Palo make you a sandwich for out on the veranda. Pacing back and forth wearing a path across the rug. The narcissist banned from Social Media has a new toy in his Twuth website but takes little interest in participating himself.
When a bullshit artist such as Twump loses interest in spouting bullshit, it’s a red alert. Grandpa doesn’t play with his model trains as much anymore. They’re just down in the basement taking up room next to the old exercise bike and his electric guitar. Adjusting to retirement can be difficult, especially if you didn’t know that you were retiring. As Churchill put it, “Given the order of the boot.”
But with the frenzy and excitement of trying to steal an election. Thrill shoplifting, just to see if he could really get away with it. The cult leader was pushing on the droids. Attempting to see just what the cult followers were really capable of. Heady stuff, especially for a narcissist. But then all that excitement begins to die down. He’s taken his package of lovely parting gifts, including Rice a Roni the San Francisco treat and boxes of sensitive documents to eat later and gone home.
Pushing the big lie until the plow bottoms out and now, he’s out of new material and becoming Seinfeld reruns. Plus, even with the best sunscreen and umbrellas, the weight of reality still pushes inwards. Everyday you wake up and are reminded as soon as you open your eyes, that it’s all over. Nixon’s in California, Napoleon on Elba, and Twump’s in Mira Lago. “Why do we have to live in this big old mansion, like this anyway? Nothing to do here but play Golf, eat McDonalds and watch the chicks at the pool.”
It is a difficult transition from being President of the United States to a bump on a log in Florida. Making masturbatory tours of the hustings and White enclaves in Republican safe districts. Making certain there will be no scheduling conflicts with NASCAR or Pro Wrastling. But without new material the crowds only come to see him and not to hear him. A novelty act, a thing to see when it comes to town like the Bonnie and Clyde car or the Evel Knievel sky cycle. But no vehicle to actually ride in. We aren’t actually leaving the station or going anywhere; this act is for novelty use only. They came, they saw, and then they left and went home.
Playing smaller venues to make the crowds look bigger. Maybe they could add a raffle or a drawing at the end to make the crowd stick around. “And the winner of the lovely 14-piece Rachel Ray cookware set is ticket number 46357!” If we leave now, we still have time stop at the Dairy Queen before it closes.
Adding to the issue of copyright infringement. Twump’s campaign has been banned from using every known song except “Do you really want to hurt me? King of the Road, Pop goes the Weasel or the final Jeopardy theme song.” That or something from the Kid Rock Anthology. You knew one day this day would come, but dared to dream that it never would. That man at the studio only called because he wants to rent your car for a movie. There are no calls for you, they only wanted to offer an extended auto warranty.
The Twump hurricane is breaking up and spawning little Twump tornados in Tehas and Florida. The little horn, genus; “Bubba” species; Republican Governor of Tehas. Is throttling back on his truck “safety” inspections after angering everyone involved from Mexican truckers to the Tehas Grocery Store Association. Causing huge delays and costing businesses millions of dollars. After a week of inspections the Tehas state troopers found nothing, zip, zero, bupkis. Not one illegal immigrant, not one marijuana reefer cigarette or one piñata filled with black tar Heroin.
Florida has rejected some math books for having prohibited content related to Critical Race Theory. Mike is having a pizza party with three of his Black friends. If each of his Black friends eats three pieces of pizza, how many Black friends does Mike have? Critical Race theory and prohibited items…in a math book? Paging Winston Smith! It’s Big Brother on line one. They found those backwards satanic messages on the Kiss Rock & Roll record. “I’m telling you for the last time Pythagoras, one more word about math and triangles and you’re fucking out of here!”
“I’ll throw you out of here like Galileo. He got house arrest for saying the Earth revolves around the sun. He was lucky the Pope was a liberal pussy. In Florida, he would have got the electric chair. And we don’t talk about Leonardo DaVinci either, because there was no Mrs. DaVinci. If you catch my drift, no talk of gears or flying machines or anatomical drawings allowed because those reference forbidden subjects in Florida. Because the man who first thought them up was…I can’t say it. He didn’t have a wife and didn’t want one and that’s all you can say in Florida.
Teacher, what did Mr. DaVinci do for fun in his free time? “No one knows Timmy, it’s a mystery here in Florida.” Teacher, was Alexander the Great really… “Don’t say it!” A great soldier?
Some fear the stain of Twump is worse than Twump himself. And they present a strong argument, but a sequel is considered a success only if it draws half the gate of the original. And half that gate won’t get them out of Pig Snort anytime soon. After all, the copy is never as good as the original.
Bush the geriatric puked and passed out in his soup; Ronnie Reagan fell asleep talking to the Pope. Michael Dukakis drove a tank and Teddy Roosevelt knocked a policeman off his horse in Central Park. People forget.