According to Hoyle

(Visiting Jimmy Hoffa)

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

Mother was good with Mike Pence running for Vice President. She thought it would be good for Michael to spread his wings and improve his name recognition and to get out of the house more. Not that there was a snowball’s chance in hell, they’d ever win. She wasn’t happy about it but was willing to go along for the ride. You know, because of what the Bible says about a wife being submissive to their husband. (Proof: That the Bible was written by men.)

And the story goes that on election night 2016, somebody was really pissed off and made it known, and sort of spoiled the party for everyone. Married guys know that face, you’ve done something really bad and there is nothing you can do about it now, to make it any better.

That thought was only to preface to how Mother Pence probably felt on January 6th. I’d wager a day didn’t go by in Mike’s life, when Mike didn’t catch an earful. “So, what has that snake got you doing today, Michael? Rob a bank maybe? Burn down an orphanage? Read from the Bible at the monkey cage of the National Zoo?”

And you know how it is when you’ve got that sore spot with your partner about your work. “Oh, by the way, I have to work this weekend. We’ll have to cancel our plans.”  Ooh, thunder and lightning, dogs, and cats! Imagine standing on that loading dock with Mother Pence as the mob chanted “Hang Mike Pence!” His face looking at her face and her face looking back at his. Her June Cleaver traditional 60s housewife spidy sense had clued her in to Donald Twump and Eddie Haskel too on day one, and now this.

“I told you so! I told you so! I told you so!” Now the plot thickens as the Secret Service want Pence and company to “Yous guys, get in the car. We’re going to visit Jimmy Hoffa.” You didn’t need to see Godfather II to know that’s a really bad idea. But the wheels on the propaganda bus go round and round.  The “Official” story says the Mike Pence in 1940s melodrama, “I will not abandon this historic Capitol! I will not allow our nation’s adversaries see me leave this historic Capitol building, even though I might be torn to shreds if I stay! For it’s a far, far better thing, I do today, than I have ever done before. (Place back of hand to forehead)

In the real-life version, the Pences are afraid to get in the car after angering Don Twumpo. Leave the Pences and take the cannoli’s All bets are off! The Pences KNOW what Don Twumpo is capable of and won’t get in the car. Caught between Don Twumpo and an angry mob calling for their execution and choosing to take their chances with the angry mob. The old actions speak louder than words routine.

Step Two; if Mike Pence still refuses to cooperate, we take Mike Pence out of the equation. We send him on a fact-finding tour of Alaska, starting right now. The Vice President and his family are being kept in seclusion in an undisclosed location, for their own “Safety.”

Drip, drip, drip, plop. Time to appoint a special counsel and expedite prosecuting sedition charges for trial before the Senate. Time to name names and make arrests. A time for frog marches in silver bracelets. A time for TV hearings and bond hearings in Prime time. The legion of texts leaves the indelible fingerprint of a planned Coup. Involving the White House and the Republicans in Congress. Mike Pence is in the minority here, as one of the few, not implicated. Don Twumpo was pushing on Pence hard, and the Republicans in Congress had gotten their rubber stamp all inked up and were asking Mike to come on, let’s do this thing!

I fully understand that “texting” is still a relatively new means of communication. However, it is not lost on me that if I ever had any intention of committing a crime. “Do you want to rob the liquor store with me at six o’clock? I already have a gun, but you will need to bring your own ski mask or stocking. Don’t tell anyone, this will be our secret.”

The Republicans texted their plans freely and often with a near certainty, that these texts would never read by the public. Their cause and intention were clear, to “Save the Republic” by overthrowing the lawfully elected government. According to Hoyle’s rules for government, you can do that. You are allowed to overthrow the government for whatever bullshit reason you like or can get the mob to follow you with. There is only caveat to that rule.  If you fail, you give up the right to continue breathing. It’s like Guy Fawkes day, except with your name!

I try to be progressive in thought and deed. And try to be open to new ideas and open to change. But tradition has it, that when you are attempting to overthrow the government and you fail, you have to pay the price. These aren’t my rules; I didn’t make them up, it’s not my idea. Don’t get mad at me for bringing them up. Only tradition teaches us that some lessons are best learned only after the penalty is enforced. “Oh! That’s why you don’t try and overthrow the government! I think, I’ll try and remember that!”

The Congress passed anti-sedition laws after the Civil War. They worked well up until recently.  They said, you can’t come back here anymore because of your disloyalty. You are only allowed to break your vows around here once. Sure, sure, you love your country a whole bunch. Just leave it there!

You love your wife so much, you cheat on her. And you love your job so much, you’ll steal from her. You love your country so much…you’ll try and stab her in the back for the likes Donald Fucking Twump of all things! When I say “Swing!” I’m not talking about music. Tell the devil, I said hello!

The rules are the rules fellas. Be a good sport and refuse the last cigarette for the sake of the kids, and refuse the blindfold, because you are a tough guy and besides, you asked to be executed. You asked to be executed, the minute you freely put your money down on the table and spun a wheel with the devil. If you’d won, you’d be on easy street right now. But you didn’t win, and now it’s time to pay the piper. Be strong and remember, John Andre didn’t want to die either. That’s why Benedict Arnold ran away. That’s just the way it goes. Rules are rules. Be strong, it’ll all be over in just a minute.

“Let life be short, else shame will be too long.”
― William Shakespeare

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