The Joke Which Tells Itself

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

It was last year or so when the QAnon tin foil hat society, first claimed that Twump was going to be reinstated to the Presidency through magic. First, Twump would be appointed to the House of Representatives, then named Speaker of the House. Then Joe Biden and Kamala Harris would be impeached and removed from office (Just like that) and Twump would become our President again! Un huh, that’s what was gonna happen alright. Just like that.

But one crafty con man began offering travel packages, so that you could be in Washington on that special day when Twump was historically reinstated. Limited space available! Order Now! Your package includes luxury accommodations in Washington’s finest Five-star Motel 6. And two tickets to inaugural swearing in ceremony. P.T. Barnum Lives! There is a sucker born every minute and there has been a population explosion!

Only it gets gooder and gooder, as we’ve all heard of Crypto currencies. Or the first bank of international drug dealing, money laundering and financial crime. Guaranteed by a wink and a promise on the internet. “Why, “Mr. Potato Head” is going to be the biggest Crypto coin of them all! It went from nine cents in value to a dollar seventy-five in a week! Then it went to three dollars in a month! Then it went back down to nine cents overnight.”

The dreams of overnight riches, when we have a perfectly good state lottery that helps to support the schools. Buy five thousand lottery tickets, you never know.

We’ve all been to the big city and remember what Mama warned us about not to tell the fancy lady where you keep your money belt hid.  Don’t be flashing no ten dollars bills around in front of strangers after dark. And remember, Shinola is a shoe polish!

You’re gonna love this! It’s just like sheering sheep. They came up with a Crypto currency and they called it “Let’s go Brandon!” On December 29, always looking for a party, Congressman Madison Cawthorn poses for a photo with the Crypto coin hedge fund manager. (Wink, wink!) “Tomorrow, we go to the moon!” Cawthorn predicted on Instagram. You know with a name like Smucker’s, it has to be good!

Why, “Let’s go Brandon” is Pro-Twump and a slur on Joe Biden! I want me some! I want to get Google rich and slur Joe Biden, all at the same time! Why, if a fine young man like Madison Cawthorn says he’s going to the moon. I think that’s a good thing to support!

The very next day, 24 hrs. later. NASCAR Driver Brandon Brown (The very same “Let’s go Brandon” in “Let’s go Brandon” his own self.) announced that the “Let’s go Brandon” crypto coin would be his primary sponsor for his last year in professional auto racing. Now ain’t that special? NASCAR must need that money pretty bad.  That’s the Arnie’s all-night liquor store car coming up on the outside of the “Pleasure World” Massage parlor car. And the winner is Dick’s Dildo’s.com by a head!

But with a name like “Let’s go Brandon” and with the real live Brandon on board, guess what happened? The lemmings came out of the woodwork to buy them some “Let’s Go Brandon” crypto coins! And despite Cawthorn’s boastful promises, he’s still here on Earth and under investigation for insider trading.

Just think, you could start a Crypto coin and call it “Twump’s balls” and make fifty million dollars overnight. Just find some affable Republican dupe to say, “I heartily endorse and/or support this product.” Let’s Go Brandion! Huh? Huh? Pretty good huh? We are sure showing them Lib’s a thing or two! Grab them commemorative plates off the wall mama. We’s cashing them in for to buy us some “Let’s go Brandon” crypto coins. Quit your bellyaching; you can play video poker all day, after we’re rich.

And the car just think, a whole race car decorated up just slur the President of the United States! “Up Yours Joe!” painted on the hood. Why that ought to send the TV ratings through the roof. “Mama, kin we go to the race get drunk and swear at them TV cameras?”

The cap value of “Let’s Go Brandon “ rose to $570 million not long after young Madison bragged of his travel arrangements. Would anyone like to guess what happened next? Don’t read ahead, guess! Come on, someone take wild a stab at it! Because if you said,

 The Crypto coin suddenly went to ZERO value! Ding! Ding! Ding! By the end of the month! “Let’s go Brandon!” Almost $600 million evaporated almost overnight and excuse me for saying this again but, “Let’s go Brandon!”

It is schadenfreude at its finest, and you aren’t supposed to laugh when the flim flam artist fleeces the rubes. But God Damn it, that’s funny. I’ve got some Donald Twump magic beans here if anyone is interested. Mr. Twump told me to hang on to them and not let them go. But he also told me, I could trade them, if someone came along with a good-looking cow, like yours.

Investigations, class action lawsuits and insider trading accusations. Excuse me, but I can’t help myself. “Let’s Go Brandon!”

“I got Let’s Go Brandon coin,” Cawthorn said at the Conservative Political Action Conference, “It’s working out well, very well.”

Hurry, hurry step right up. Get your very own Donald Twump Magic Coins! Just like the real money used by Donald Twump himself on TV. These coins have special magic powers! They cure disease and end poverty. Win the lottery or win the girl of your dreams! It’s all possible with the Donald Twump magic coins. They are only ten dollars apiece, or five for seventy-five dollars in a special commemorative envelope and Free two-day shipping.

On one side of the coin is the likeness of Donald Twump. (In pure 24 carat simulated gold) And on the other side, is the official NASCAR approved likeness of the “Let’s Go Brandon” race car cast in genuine US made long lasting vinyl plastic. Certain to go up in value, order yours today!

“Many people are gullible, and we can expect this to continue.” – P.T. Barnum

I can’t stop myself; I’ll be saying it all day!Let’s go Brandon!” Let’s go by the bank Brandon and see where your money used to live.

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