You Don’t Need a Weatherman

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

Like the first drops of rain or gusting dark roiling clouds that warn of what is to come. The Mexican Trade Minister recently announced the trade rail corridor planned to go through El Paso, will now go take a New Mexico route instead. Noting that it was not good to put all your eggs in one basket. And to avoid areas with politicians, who use trade as a weapon.

Hey Texas, how about that? You’re being insulted and shunned internationally. And scratched off the list domestically of places to put the new factory or rail hub. The effect of a 100% domestically inspired self-serving political campaign that has international repercussions, who’d have thunk it? Oh well, it’s only money anyway and jobs and futures for Texans.  What was the point of that second truck inspection again?

To protect us from the threat of MS13 hiding in the vegetable trucks or tainted pinatas. Being used illegally to smuggle across the border, billions of dollars in deadly marijuana joints. Create a problem, call it crisis. Apply a hopeless pointless solution, rinse, and repeat. But the genesis of his issue is Mexico. Something to be watched with suspicion and concern. They even speak their own language when they’re at home. That’s something concerning and something to keep an eye on. They could be talking about us, you know.

Good old-fashioned Klansman without a hood. Don Republican saddling up for his Man of Le Mancha quest. I’ll protect you from all those dirty books in your kid’s school library! I’ll protect you from every little thing that frightens you! I won’t let them hurt you, dry your eyes now, (Here I come to save the day!) and don’t be scared no more. I won’t let them get you! Race based, fear-based politics. You can use the restroom now; it’s safe. I checked it for you myself.

I think it is interesting that Texas gladly accepts all the advantages and jobs and wealth generated by the border traffic it pouts and complains about. Like Hawaii complaining about being surrounded by water and forced to endure long sunsets. Is there no relief? Take pity on us! Just how long have you been located on the Mexican border? And when did all these border troubles actually begin? In 18 what? Have you ever considered relocating? When will federal government finally do something about those winters in Alaska?

Somewhere in the boardrooms of Disney, alternatives are being sought. You don’t tweak the nose of the mouse, after sucking on it’s tit and get away with it. Somewhere on the covered whiteboards and computer screens are concepts taking shape for a new park. The old park is fifty years old anyway. There is nothing to keep Disney in Florida but concrete. Take away their special deal and once that billion-dollar bond is paid off, they’re probably out of Florida anyway.

Perhaps buy South Carolina outright and turn it into a Disney theme park adventure. And the money saved on airfare, means more money for the marks to spend at the new park on mouse crap. I’m sure there is a warm Southern state somewhere. With a wheelbarrow loaded full of tax breaks and special deals. Just waiting for the right theme park to come along offering to bring a money mill to town. Turning my derelict property into the perfect location for the new twenty-million-dollar Disney hotel.

Maybe Disney Mississippi and Third World Land! Visit the Disney Kingdom education forgot. The best thing in town is the road out. We tried having a school once, but it never really caught on. We might not be the happiest Disney Kingdom in the world, but we’re the dumbest.

Maybe even Disney Texas no, no, I don’t think so. They’re on that short list with Disney Upper Peninsula – Michigan Arctic Winter Adventure! Visit Shackleton Land! And Scott World! And Santa! Don’t forget Santa! A 3D lifelike holistic projection of jolly old Saint Nick himself. While you’re whirled to nausea in a darkened room on a centrifuge. While you think that you’re flying with Saint Nick and his reindeer until you puke.

It is really sort of funny from a historical perspective. FDR and the TVA built over 200 dams across the southeast. It changed the entire region and brought jobs and industry to one of the poorest regions of the country. What’s more, he did it all for free. Building hydroelectric dams which paid for themselves through generating cheap electricity. He never once offered a tax cut to big business.

Harry Truman stared down Joe Stalin over Berlin, ready to go to war over making the Russians keep their word. The original name for the Marshall plan was the Truman Plan. But Truman ordered it changed, certain the Republicans would be willing fight to the death over anything with his name on it.

A big liberal spending program passed and supported by a big liberal Congress and the death of a liberal President. Added twenty something billion dollars onto the backs of the American people. From nothing, working with only brains, talent, and money. They made it possible for MTV to have a cool man on the moon logo. And all the United Snakes taxpayer got for his money was a fifty-year lead in technology. Yeah, but what about those Mexicans on the border?

I learned recently that chips ain’t chips. The computer chips needed for cars or video games are one thing. The chips needed for cell phones and smart bombs; those are something else entirely. You can get video game chips anywhere, but if you want the other kind, the choice is the US or Japan. And the only reason that they are available at all, anywhere in the entire God damned world is because of that big Big God damned liberal spending program!

Once long ago, there was this crazy guy who got himself elected President. He warned us; He said,  if the United Snakes didn’t get off of fossil fuels. The country faced a series of very expensive oil wars and fuel price shocks over the coming decades. Requiring additional trillions for the military and raising world tensions. The Republicans ran that crazy fucker out of town on a rail. Sure, he was only right about… everything. Imagine a United States that began to go green in 1977.

Sure, he was the most conservative Democrat ever elected. And sure, he was deeply religious. But Nancy Reagan’s psychic said to put your money on Exxon-Mobil. Those White House solar cells were blocking her psychic waves anyhow! Making it harder to chart out astrologically America’s proper course to follow.

I guess it all comes down to what kind of world want to live in. A world where you can dream of going to the moon or be afraid to go outside. Looking to lance that windmill in the name of God or punch out a cartoon mouse who bought you dinner last week. Ted Cruz thinks that Disney publicly disagreeing with the governor of Florida, will lead to Mickey Mouse and Pluto somehow having weird cartoon Gay, interspecies sex. Don’t spoil it, don’t tell him cartoons don’t have sex.

I leave it up to you, vote for whoever your heart tells you. But just remember one thing, if you will, just try and remember who’s fucking Goofy around here!

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