If You Want to Keep a Secret

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

It is a unique time to be alive. A time of massive technology pulling the rug out from under whole civilizations. A time of magic and superstition, hearsay and heresy. The more they can’t understand the world, the more detached they become from it. The Native Americans called it the “iron horse” because that was the only way they could conceive it to exist. It had to be so, or it does not compute.

What would you call your time machine if you had one, and how would you explain it to General Washington? If they ever found your cell phone, they’d execute you on the spot! People get uncomfortable when you puncture their reality.

But rather than one Big Brother with millions of followers, the computer evolution allows for a custom Big Brother. “It’s the Angry White man channel, with the stories of things designed exclusively to piss you off.” And then, if that wasn’t bad enough. Then after waiting for over ten minutes, I had to write this bureaucrat a check for $42.50 for a sticker no bigger than a postage stamp for my new Mercedes! Boy, that sure sounds like Communism to me! They would never know how oppressed they were, if not constantly reminded.

But they told the tale and spun the yarn and carved into scrimshaw. Beware, there be sea monsters ahead in the briny deep. I seek the Great White Whale and the sea monsters seek to stop me. Odysseus killed the Cyclops, so there must be other Cyclops around somewhere. Don’t ever say that there is no Great White Whale; myth is fact until someone says, “prove it.”

They believe what they’ve been told and are following the soap opera attentively. This is the reality they believe, and so anything that supports the Great White Whale theory is clung to reverently, like a religious icon. Anything which punctures the theory is discounted or incorporated into the scheme to deny the truth of the Great White Whale. “Is it  the sea monsters again; you’re not listening to sea monsters again, are you? They just don’t want you catching their Great White Whale. They’re lying to you, trying to convince you that there’s no such thing. Because it’s part of their secret plot for worldwide domination.”

And so, the castles made of sand wash out to the sea without ever surrendering to the rising tide. That moment when you discover that you been taken in. You’ve been out snipe hunting all night and you haven’t caught a single thing. You’ve bought all this fishing tackle for nothing. There is no Great White Whale or sea monsters. “Now, why would the tobacco institute lie to us about smoking?”

Why, would the billionaires and oil company execs lie about environmentalist? Why isn’t it obvious, those environmentalists just want to ruin our economy and turn us into a race of can and bottle sorting droids. “I read it in a book once, “Would Billionaires Lie to You?” It’s all part of secret conspiracy to take over the world!

There are these secret societies doing secret things that you don’t know about, cause you’re just a simple heathen. But they perform secret rituals and take blood oaths and stuff, and eat children. They’ve been at it for centuries and even got the Aliens in their hip pocket.

It all began during the reign of Pope Squid the 64th, the insatiable. Nostradamus wrote about it in his twenty- seventh, Cuticle (the Mushroom Cuticle) “He that doesn’t pass shall be named Bogart. And shall be liken then unto an abomination.” Meaning of course, that the 2020 Presidential election was stolen.

Once immersed in the finer points of the theology, it becomes difficult to renounce the faith. My Grandmother didn’t like riding in automobiles. She feared them, but had no issue with the streetcar. In her youth, automobiles were dangerous things that made the horses rear up. Reality changed, she didn’t. She also didn’t allow playing cards in her house. Fifty-two little tools of the devil, designed to drag you down into hell!

But they still believe, after mountains of evidence documents and public confessions, that the 2020 Presidential election was stolen in Georgia. Never mind the two recounts, they were all crooked too. No one likes being taken advantage of or looking foolish. Trying to get a grown woman into a car, who wants to walk a half mile down to the trolley stop. To admit to reality, you must first bathe yourself in the waters of the Suckerdom river. That you shall be first washed clean of your foolishness.

You must first admit with thy own mouth, that the Republicans took you in like a rube from out of town. Fleeced you for every nickel you’re worth, and then gave you a good swift kick in the ass and sent you on your way. They must first believe that the Republican Party intentionally misled and lied to them.

Then they must believe that people inside the Party were either corrupt or complicit with the enemy. That Republicans formally thought to be honest and up standing Republicans, right up until this very minute. Were secretly working against other Republicans to assist the Democrats! Those dirty fifth columnist flying ballots in from North Korea!

It gets more and more difficult to believe as time goes by. Don Rumsfeld called them deadenders. So, when the Bible tells us that God provided Jesus with an ass to ride into Jerusalem. Just what does that mean exactly? God blinked and an ass magically materialized on the street? Or one of the boys found an ass parked around back when no one was looking and claimed that “God did it! God provided this ass, it’s divine providence! God wants us to steal it,  otherwise he wouldn’t have put it there.”

They have to admit that Donald Twump is a criminal con man, who played them all for bunch of suckers like a Cajun accordion. That is a difficult pill to swallow. After all, they like being Republicans, it gives them protection. “I’m not a bigot, I’m a Republican! I don’t believe in White Supremacy; I just think women and minorities talk too much, and should shut up. Billionaires know the truth; environmentalist are only out to seek personal gain.  If we cut taxes, the highways will build themselves! This won’t hurt, the checks in the mail and….ah. You’ll get your money real soon.”

“If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself.”
― George Orwell

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