By David Glenn Cox
What has occurred was a nuclear event. A harbinger of change if we want it to be. (War is over, if you want it) The event that went too far and tore it, once and for all. It was just the other day, I read and a dozen times before, how the Republicans were going to sweep the house midterm elections and then take over Senate.
Then you’re gonna get it! The Republicans vowed revenge. That was their plan for America, revenge. (“American people?” Who?)They were going to get even with the Democrats by impeaching Joe Biden. For something, never mind what, we’ll think of something. Construction can begin on the Twump likeness on Mt. Rushmore. Hunter Biden can be placed at the top of Interpol’s ten most wanted list. And the poison control symbol of a skull & crossbones, has officially been replaced by a likeness of Hillary Clinton.
January 6th is the proposed date of the new official holiday of Limbaugh Day, replacing New Year’s Day. Just move the football games; it’ll be fine. But imitation is the sincerest form of politics. If your opponent says the Alien’s stole the catalytic converter off his minivan. And the electorate are eating it up, you have to go check your minivan too and guess what? Each one trying to out extreme the others to stay ahead of the pack.
A new law in Eessennet, the land so backwards it’s even spelled backwards, makes it a felony to camp on public grounds. There’s your Republican solution for homelessness! Put em all in jail! That’ll fix it! “I just so happen to know a guy with a private prison, willing to help us out.” When it was pointed out that this was by far the cruelest solution to homelessness outside the head of Joseph Stalin. The bill’s author said, “but It’ll never be enforced.” One of those laws the cops can use to run you in if it’s a slow day or if you talk back.
No crime in being poor, except in Eessennet. It’s a felony there! But they don’t enforce it, but they can if they want too. Signs on the restrooms to warn you! Transsexuals may have used this restroom. Or may be using this restroom now. Be advised – the stalls could have Dicks in them. What a paradise it must be, to have solved all the serious problems of running a state. And are now getting down to the brass tacks of punishing the poor and minorities in that inimitable Republican style. Why didn’t we think of that? Just build more prisons! “Have you no workhouses?”
But those halcyon days have all been swept away, reality intruding on Republican fantasyland in ludicrousville. Ron Johnson runs down a hallway grabbing at locked doorknobs trying to escape. Marge Tater Greene says, we need turn our hearts towards god. I hate a politician who lacks imagination. IN CASE OF SCHOOL SHOOTING SAY: “We need to turn our hearts towards God!” Then repeat as necessary.” NRA Helpful Hint No.27.
Mitch McConnell is so shocked and outraged; he’s authorizing some negotiations on minor gun restrictions. That mark my words, in two or three, weeks will be completely ignored and forgotten about. Ole Mitch was real upset about January 6th too but has since curbed his enthusiasm. Act sad and apologetic, stall, and repeat. NRA Helpful Hint No. 17. Aw shucks, and now we don’t have enough time to consider that legislation. Maybe next year, after you’ve forgotten about it.
It’s liberalism and permissive society, TV violence and comic books, we need to turn our hearts to God. It’s mental illness! It is mental illness! You keep electing these Republican bastards, and the killing continues, are you crazy?
Media empires that focus on selling fear and paranoia. Be afraid, be very afraid. Everybody is out to get you. You need a gun! Minorities are trying to take over the world; you need a gun. Secret societies are doing all sorts of evil things and you’re powerless to stop them unless you own a gun. And Jews, Jews, Jews, but we didn’t say that. You could get a 38 special, but that’s passe too Kojak. A 357 magnum or a 44 old school, but that’s too Dirty Harry. What you want is a 9-millimeter or a 40 cal. You never know when you might need to put a round through an engine block while deer hunting.
According to Republican theology Hillary Clinton is a pedophile cannibal who engages in sex with children before she eats them. “Well, that’s a well-reasoned and well-thought-out position. Oh wait, no it’s not. That’s crazy talk, that’s the space aliens took my catalytic converter off my minivan shit.” You are not going to convince them otherwise; they’re too far gone for that. You might convince them she’s one or the other, but that’s all. The only thing to do is out vote them.
There’s no hold up in passing gun reform legislation, except getting rid of the NRA funded antagonists. Who think America could be a better place by jailing all the poor people. Anybody can own a gun, but if you’re a Transexual, stay out of the lady’s room! Can’t you read the sign?
Let’s destroy public education because it’s too expensive. They’re only teaching them to be liberals with dirty books anyway. Arabic numerals and nasty, nasty history. “Our friends the Negros, helped us develop agriculture in the early South. And in their spare time invented Jazz music and the banjo!” What’s wrong with that? It’s sort of true.
I’ve looked for the quote but can’t find it. But Woody Guthrie said that some people see America and only see the pretty parts. They curse anyone who questions the pretty parts by calling up the ugly parts. Woody said that the pretty parts are what motivated him to try and make the ugly parts better. To fix problems with real solutions instead of living in the igloo of frozen ignorance and avoidance. “God will fix it, if we all pray hard enough and send our money to the TV preacher.”
You should admire a whore so loyal to their pimp. You can admire them, without voting for them.
Millions of High School students from coast to coast, walked out of their classes to protest becoming the helpless fodder of mental illness and the victims of Republican politics. Some of the students are on the honor roll, and some just take shop class. But they’ve all learned one valuable lesson in high school to share. Never ever, ever, fucking ever, vote for a Republican as long as you live. Then you won’t have to write class essays on “What I want to be, if I grow up.”
“Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough.”
― Franklin D. Roosevelt