You Really Need a Gun

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

If you thought the Texas SWAT team was useless, get a load of the Republicans. Hidden, MIA, too busy to go on TV and talk about what’s happened. They’re just government officials and it just got hot, so they run away and hide and hope we won’t remember their names.

All 50 Republican Senators were invited on the Sunday talk shows and all 50 declined. Public officials in a public crisis that can’t be found or can’t be bothered in addressing the public. After speaking to the NRA Gregg (Bubba) Abbott also declined. His words are paid for and so, proprietary. Why should he talk to you people for free…now? Now that his dreams of Washington have largely evaporated. The Easter Bunny just took a large dump in Bubba’s Easter Basket.

So, Bubba doesn’t want to talk about it. No upside for him as in “Screw those pin heads. They’ll forget! There will be another shooting somewhere else, and they’ll forget.” Letting Bubba off the hook allowing him to move on to his next failure. Blocking up the border crossings, keeping the National Guard on the Mexican border watching TV or loosening gun restrictions. All for politics, all to jockey into the race as the most ultra conservative, among the ultra conservatives.

Isn’t it obvious, that as a leader in a crisis that you put up your collar run away? I think it was Churchill who once asked, “What are you people looking at me for?” Leadership by focus group, anyone can do it when it all goes well, anyone. Just shout “here” or “present” when they call your name. If the Republicans truly believed the things, they espouse why won’t they defend them? Because they are undefendable, so they retreat and regroup and play rope a dope. (Shocked and deeply saddened, yet again)

It illustrates the bankruptcy of their position. It just keeps happening and the Republicans offer up no reasonable solutions, and it happens again. Paid marionettes backstopping an industry of death and killing by foot dragging. Immediately hunters are up in arms, you’re out to get us!

But I don’t think it’s controversial and I think we can all agree. That a mentally ill person hearing voices, shouldn’t have access to a loaded gun. Is that a starting point? Can we agree on that? That’s not “too, too” radical or “too, too” Liberal to agree on, is it? Just a rule of thumb, if you can’t be trusted with a cigarette lighter or metal silverware, you can’t have a gun. If your mattress is tied to the wall and you’re tied to the mattress, you can’t have a gun.

Can a blind person apply for a hunting license? You’re not going to deny a second amendment right to the disabled, are you? Sure, hunting by sound alone is controversial, but at least you don’t have to wear orange. An exciting new sport and fulfilling too, because if you don’t get what you went after, you’ll probably get something else. “Who’s there?” The excitement of discovering what you’ve just killed. Maybe a trophy buck or maybe a cocker spaniel. So maybe, we could add the blind to the list with the mentally ill, if it’s not considered too radical?

The Navy subjects it’s nuclear sub-Commanders to periodic phycological evaluations. Because the Navy determined long ago. That sub-Commanders stuck in unhappy marriages probably shouldn’t have access to nuclear weapons. “Goodbye Marge! Goodbye house! Goodbye San Diego!” Maybe restrictions on people undergoing divorce or child custody, is that too much? You get your guns back 90 days after the divorce is finalized, provided there are no outstanding issues. Too much?

Along with the hunter is the macho Rambo wanna be’s. They gotta an AK and half million rounds of ammo in the basement. Just in case Hillary and company ever gets any froggy ideas and tries to take this proud American Patriot down. Living your life thinking, “Someday they’re coming after me Marge and it’ll all end in fiery shootout, just like the Branch Davidians! Armored personal carriers tearing up the front lawn and helicopters circling overhead.”

Delusional much? Sure, why would we ever want to curb your Constitutional rights? What do you suppose set the G-men on to you? Your Reich wing political posts about what you’d do, if someone tries to take your guns away perhaps?

There is a paranoia industry in this country. “When the shit hits the fan, how will you protect your family?” When marauding bands of mutants have taken to the streets in an unholy alliance with the space Aliens, how will you feed your family then? You need guns, lots and lots of guns and gold coins and dried beans by the five-gallon bucket. Don’t let the zombie apocalypse catch you napping! Convert your worthless paper money to gold coins by sending us your worthless paper money now! I’m sure after the Zombie apocalypse dies down some, it’ll be easy to get change for a Krurgerrand. I hope you like beans. There’s a lot of beans on the menu after the Zombie apocalypse.

Inner cities becoming like Tombstone, Arizona, a century before. If everyone is carrying a gun except you. That’s puts you at a distinct negotiating disadvantage vis-à-vis any potential disagreements.  When you ain’t got nothing and you don’t see a way to ever get nothing. Pride and slights take prominence. Put on your Burger King hat and work your twenty-five hours at a humiliating minimum wage or sell drugs and make a couple a hundred a night? You always carry weapons because you always carry cash.

A culture of guns and violence set to a soundtrack of the end justifies the means. Whatever buys the cars or the champagne. “I’m a rich Muther Fucker! Rich Muther Fucker! Rich Muther Fucker! I lend money to god and buy my blow in the ten-pound flour sacks!” There is only the one-dimensional tangible materialistic world offered up of cars and money women and drugs. A Capitalist wet dream or nightmare, depending on which side of the cars and money women and drugs you’re on.

This is the world the Republicans want for you. Suppress the minimum wage, cut the mental health budget. Use the Willie Horton strategy whenever possible. Peddle fear and xenophobia and don’t forget to plug that second amendment right. Tell em how dangerous the inner cites are, but don’t tell them why. Don’t tell em you cut the mental health budget. Tell them you’re defending their values and if it blows up in your face like Wile E. Coyote working on an Acme product, just hide.

All these homeless and mentally ill people make me feel unsafe; I guess that’s their idea, to build a world where you really need a gun.

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