Strawberry Fields

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

I’m often surprised that, despite the volume of Republican complaint and invective. At the inaccuracy or inefficiency of Republican propaganda. It’s always centers on some hot button emotional issue with a threat embedded underneath like a fishhook.  Ted Cruz blames the Green New Deal for high-energy prices. “Oh, it’s that Green New Deal again! The Green New Deal everybody! Look what the Liberals did!” Only there is no Green New Deal in place anywhere under law in the United States.

Guess what? You’ll probably say I’m just making this up because I don’t like the guy. But it appears Ron DeSantis lied and did so intentionally to undercount Covid deaths. See Ron had this theory about Covid. Just work through it he said,  and it’ll go away eventually, after enough workers have died. I mean, after the virus has worked its way through population, we can all return to normal profitability. And see, because his theory wasn’t exactly panning out as planned, the answer became obvious, lie about the numbers.

See?  Not once but twice, and twice means intentional. Ron was caught trying to hide the actual Covid numbers. Like North Korea, only with better weather. Just make up the numbers to appease Chairman Kim Dumb Ron. Its only your relatives, only your family and friends, only your wife or your husband. So, you don’t mind if Ron toys with the number some, do you? He has political aspirations, and the reporting of the untimely deaths of thousands of extra Floridians, could damage those aspirations. “Cassius has lean and hungry look.”

Not only would he feed you to hell’s inferno, but he’d also lie about it to your relatives. But not all is trying to make the world a better place through lies and deceit. Fighting with school boards or white washing history. It’s not all fun and games you know. While the governor was off chasing Mickey Mouse, Florida homeowners have been getting kicked in the nuts.

It’s a roofing scam. Fun Fact: “Florida” is actually a Native American word which means scam. So, when Ponce De Leon first showed up looking for the fountain of youth, the Native Americans were more than willing to oblige him for a price. “So, this is the mythical fountain of youth!” and the Native Americans all nodded and beamed and said, “Uh huh, that’s her!” Being a stranger in those parts and not catching the drift of the local humor. Ponce thought that Florida was a geographical location, instead of  a character description.

These roofing companies scan the weather reports for any sign of hail. They send a salesman to your door offering “Free” roof inspections. Then find “storm damage” requiring a full replacement of your roof by your insurance company. And we’re such nice guys, we’ll even pay your deductible and add it to the price of the roof. Until the price of homeowners insurance began to skyrocket, and the insurance companies began to belly up or leave the state. Ron’s been busy, he can’t fix everything all at once you know.

There’s that smart ass mouse to deal with and discouraging people from being Gay. Ron has a theory about that too! Property assessments are expected to rise at least 25% in the former fiefdom of Disney. Thanks to Ron’s unprecedented assault, but it’s only a billion dollars or so.

But your maintenance budget is safe, because there are no extra mandated building inspections anywhere near the place where that Condo building suddenly collapsed and killed a 100 Floridians. “Thoughts and Prayers Bubba, thoughts and prayers.” The governor decided that wouldn’t be necessary. I’m sure your building will be fine. We have more thoughts and prayers on hand, if necessary.

Ted Cruz is the very face of Pepto Bismol and is worried that any alternative energy hit his native Texas and displace one drop of that sweet, sweet, crude.  Sure, it’s lethal and deadly and killing the planet, but these people have lots and lots of money. And what’s more, they’re willing to give it away! But they might ask for a few favors in return. Besides, I’ll be dead and gone a lifetime before your grandkids start fighting over what’s left of the clean water.

Marge Tater Greene (Pause) remember how she was all wound up about pedophiles? Everyone was a pedophile. Even the people following her that the rest of us couldn’t see were pedophiles. Well, that was last week, and who remembers way back in the old days? This week Tater invites Milos Yiannopoulous, born Milos Hanrahan,  to join her staff as a 40-year-old intern. Milos you might recall, is the disgraced Gay conservative writer and Judas goat who sang his praises of pedophilia. And thus, blew up his career like a Revell airplane model meeting a burning M-80.

The gig at Taco Bell didn’t work out either, so let’s give Tater a try.  But Marge invites everyone in the news or down on their luck to be an intern. Dear Buzz Adrian…how would you like to be an intern and work in Congress?  She even invited David Hogg from the Stoneman-Douglas high school shooting to be an intern. Along with Killer Kyle Rittenhouse (Go Aggies!) Dear Mr. Brady, have you ever considered becoming a congressional intern, when you’re not playing football?

Mr. Hogg declined, and I think missed a financial opportunity of a lifetime. “My One Day with Marge Tater Greene” by David Hogg. The ultimate irony being that Tater has no committee assignments or real duties to perform. What do interns do for a congressperson, without any duties? Answer the mail and fetch me a Coke and enter the office paper football tournament. Lean back in your chair, read the news, play solitaire and sure, you can leave a few minutes early.

Meanwhile in Texas, that little third world country that could. Greg “Bubba” Abbott has been taken to task by the Treasury Department. He was given millions of your tax dollars to alleviate the citizenry’s struggles during the pandemic of late notoriety. Bubba, however, chose instead to spend the funds on a political stunt. Using the money to keep the Texas National Guard on the Mexican border doing absolutely nothing but dreaming of coming home.

The Feds can be pretty stiff necked about these things and now want their money back. You don’t mind paying it back, do you Texas? As if someone took millions and millions of dollars and just flushed them down the toilet. “Whoosh!” Put all that nice money in a big pile and just set it on fire.

Death Star Ron DeSantis decided by executive fiat. (not the state automobile) That Florida children on food assistance didn’t need the additional 25 million offered by the Federal Government. Money for food for hungry children locked away from school lunches. Florida would have been required to request the money by filling out a form.

But Ron’s a tuff conservative. He doesn’t want any food assistance coming from Joe Biden and doesn’t care how many Florida school children go hungry because of it. And what’s more, Florida grocery stores owners don’t need or want any of that additional 25 million dollars going through their cash drawers either!

Because the center of their universe is gone or gone orange dwarf star, they drift free in the cosmos. There is no center anymore, no gravity. No down or up and so, no reality. Strawberry Fields, nothing is real. It’s only money and once you get fire going, it burns real good.

“I believe that, as long as there is plenty, poverty is evil. Government belongs wherever evil needs an adversary and there are people in distress.”

― Robert F. Kennedy

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