Dancing to the Organ Grinder’s Tune

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

The threat of excommunication didn’t work on Henry the Eighth, so I’m not going to let it bother me none either. “Oh no, I’ll be thrown out of the Little Orphan Annie Club!” Forced to sleep in on Sundays or find me another club that accepts loose sinners.”

Catholic Bishop’s in Colorado have decreed by virtue of their special relationship with God. Who may take Holy Communion and munch on the sumptuous body of our lord and wash it all down, with the most expensive wine ever poured. Feel better now, don’t you? Damn right you do, you’ve been saved!

The sinners in question are the Colorado state legislature. And anyone who voted for the “Reproductive Health Equity Act” are here by thrown out of the club by virtue of the Bishop’s special relationship with God. If God were here, he’d tell you himself. But for some reason he’s or she or it can’t be here today. So, we’ll let this guy decide instead.

Only our representatives are elected to represent their district not to represent their theology. What happened to close the door and pray quietly Bishop, and not make a show of your piety? Not to sit in the front row of the temple and shout, “look at me!”

 “Voting for RHEA was participating in a gravely sinful action because it facilitates the killing of innocent unborn babies,”

Let’s rephrase that: The church is ordering you to do as we tell you to do. No matter what your constituency wishes. And if you don’t do as you are told. We will deny you an ancient ritual and so, deny your soul eternal salvation.

God loves you yadda, yadda, but if you don’t watch yourself. God will give you the boot. (forgive 7 X 70.) Then, it’s die bastard, burn in hell and rot forever! See if I care! You had your chance, didn’t you ? And well, I guess you fucked it up big time. You were told how to vote by God’s man with the plan, but you didn’t do it. (Fucking free will, strikes again!)

No secret amusement park for you! But, since it is 2022 and all, and we have electric lights now and automobiles and flush toilets and all. We know where the thunder and lightning comes from and don’t assume God’s angry with us about something anymore. We know that a plague of grasshoppers comes from grasshoppers. And not from God’s angry disappointment in the Colorado Legislature.

And since we live in these modern times and all, with cell phones and space stations and microwave popcorn. May I ask, who are you, Bishop? “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” Are you without sin Bishop? Just who the fuck are you then?

Cheap headlines, cheap theatrics, imitating your contemporaries? Monkey suit see, monkey suit do. Angling for the big chair maybe. There can’t be a political God, it won’t work. It’s been tried many times before. It always slides right into a cult when God controls both politics and theology. That’s why Jesus first ordained the separation between church and state.

Don’t get mad Bishop, it was his idea from a long time ago. A parable of proper human behavior from a Rabbi. They worked a lot in parables back in the day. “I knew a man once, a man who also had a problem much like yours.”

“And I would tell such a man, to tell the Bishop to go eat shit and fuck himself!” Inside that Cathedral you’re Marshall Dillon, but out here on the street. You’re just another asshole in silks and a funny red hat!” Liberace with a crucifix, raising a shit fit for Jesus! That just happens to correspond with our annual fundraising drive. Jesus says, “Pony up or burn sinners!”

I just have a couple of theological questions. If the State Legislature doesn’t vote as they’re told by the big water buffalo at the trough. Then you sentence them all to eternal hell fire for killing unborn babies with their vote. Following the same logic, don’t automobiles also kill unborn babies as much as votes in the legislature? And mass transit?

Without automobiles could they even vote for such a bill? You couldn’t have abortions and kill unborn babies without automobiles and mass transit. Don’t they hold equal culpability? Autoworkers, mechanics cab drivers and Uber drivers, you’re out. You’ll pick up a fare from some medical clinic and not even ask what they were doing in there. As if it were none of your business.

But think twice! Somethings burning and I think it’s you. They’ll build and sell those cars to anybody won’t they, sinner or virtuous. And those cars can be used randomly to facilitate abortions. And used randomly to facilitate the need for those abortions! Likewise, their manufactures and their employees should all be denied Holy Communion. The planning commission and zoning board that built the street that carried that car that drove the women for her abortion. If you voted in favor of that street or allowed that street to continue, your heathen ass should be out of the club.

If you are a highway worker paving roads that allow women to use their automobiles. To drive themselves to a health care clinic and have an abortion, you’re out of the club too. Gas stations and auto parts stores and even the guy at the air compressor factory who boxes up the compressors for shipment. To fill the tire that makes the car go, so the woman can arrive on time for her appointment at the clinic. You’re a baby killer too, just like the rest of them. Only the Bishop won’t get any headlines by publicly calling you out.

Politics cheapens religion and religion poisons politics. So, the more the Bishop talks politics, the less credibility he has as a theologian and appears more as a paid shill in a silk monkey suit and a funny hat, dancing to the organ grinder’s tune. That’s why the founding revolutionaries of this country were so dead set against including religion in their politics. Many Americans first came here to these shores to escape from religions and religious persecution and the taxation of “State” churches.

Not a war on Xmas persecution, but eyes gouged out bones broken and burned at the stake and war persecution. There was a time when we allowed Christian Theologians to run the world, we called it the dark ages. And if you were ever curious what a dark age actually looked like, look around and enjoy.

A man in a 16th century get up is trying to tell 21st century elected representatives how they should vote or else, or else he’ll sick God them. Then they can’t eat Jesus anymore. Well, they can, but it won’t count. In fact, it will count against them! Eating Jesus without permission is a sin you know. Besides, they’ll know if you eat Jesus without permission, they’ll know, they always know.

“He sees you when your sleeping, he knows when your awake!” Oh wait, never mind that’s Santa. Without the red suit they’re hard to distinguish, both having a beard and long hair. But just remember this, Jesus is the hard ass. Jesus will try to tell you how to vote, Santa won’t.

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