In a Pig’s Eye

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

I read a lot, go through Reddit Politics with a fine-tooth comb. Waiting for some oddity or weirdness to jump out at me and usually it doesn’t take too long. And then you find something, like a stray puppy lost on a busy street and you ask yourself, “now what are you doing here little fellow?”

“Poll after Poll Shows GOP Out of Step with Public Opinion,” Aw go on with you, who told you that? Don’t most Americans believe there is a pizza parlor with a basement in Washington somewheres, where  Democrats have cannibal sex parties with children, while singing hosannas to the devil?

And maybe, as much as you know it’s wrong, it’s just real good pizza. What with the place being haven for Satan and all. Or maybe, in the face of stunning and sometimes brutal testimony, evidence, videos and public confessions still believe that Donald Twump was somehow cheated, that public opinion?

That teaching children to be accepting and loving of one another, despite their differences, is somehow “dangerous.” Or the children should be protected from books, because books in a school library are somehow bad, while guns aren’t “dangerous.” Out of step, really?

But the story has all the earmarks of an editor inspired story. “Well, if you can’t think of nothing good to write. Write about how out of step the GOP is with public opinion. But don’t use that as the title” And the Boss ain’t always right, but he’s always the Boss. It’s more the motivation of the story, restating the obvious. Like a weak sales pitch saying, “We’re the good guys” in a Pee Wee Herman or Gieco lizard voice!

Lauren (low Rent) Boebert has been accused by same group which helped to derail Madison (madman) Cawthorn. They claim that Lauren has had two abortions and one of them was at the evil Planned Parenthood. A favorite target of Republican do gooders and the Blue Haired Church Ladies against Freedom for decades. Boebert was shocked by the revelations; I was shocked by the revelations, only two?

But then, she is from kind of a small town. And she has been treated for bruises before commonly associated with being touched by ten-foot poles. She could probably have done better in the big city.

According to the story and this is where it gets really weird, and we reach the edge of the page. I’m gullible enough I suppose but, Boebert working as an escort? I dunno, I could start in with all the old truisms about working too hard for my money. I don’t  think you could pedal that merchandise with a new Schwinn with a bell on the handlebars. Not without the right street corner or street corner escort assistant like “Mr. Charles.”

The name of Ted Cruz pops up in the story as a “John” and friend of Mr. Charles. I dunno, it sounds like a story with a schoolbook depository in it somewhere. But we do know what has been said about Ted’s wife, don’t we? So, it does add some credence to the story as Ted’s romantics tastes are already publicly known to be suspect. The motivation for this story is clear enough. “Warp factor five Mr. Sulu and fire all the photon torpedoes!”

The most difficult factor to prove in a libel case is intent. So, if they don’t have some kind of evidence on hand. They’ve run their mouths and put themselves at great jeopardy.  Lauren (low rent) Boebert says, she is outraged by these terrible lies and fabrications, besmirching her otherwise unblemished character and plans to sue! She is offering to the public the opportunity to see for themselves, if the allegations are true or not. If she screams lawsuit but doesn’t pursue a lawsuit, it’s all true.

Likewise, if they have evidence as they say they do. Showing it to a judge will end the libel case before the Noon recess. That’s the most probable course for her to sue now, while fresh in public’s mind only to drop the suit after public scrutiny has faded away. Or who knows? Maybe she’s got them by the short hairs. And they’ll rue the day they ever went after her character! “Survey says!” Probably not!

“I’ll take modern madness and opera for one thousand Alex.” She became one of the richest women in America after winning her libel lawsuit. “Who is Lauren Boebert Alex?”

Never at any time in American history has the Republican Party been so out of step with public opinion. Even during Watergate, Republicans retained some semblance of their dignity. “Okay, you win guys, you got us.” But today, it’s a pie in the face drop your drawers, hell’s a poppin, slapstick. “The North Koreans secretly brought in ballots on an airplane. Interesting, because a North Korean aircraft wouldn’t get within fifty miles of the US border before being shot down. “but it was a secret plot!”

It’s always a secret plot or conspiracy isn’t it? Always some hidden hand plotting against you. I was wheeling through the AM dial waiting for sleep to overtake me. The voice cried out over amplified with too much reverb. “Defend America! Almost screaming, “Conservatives are under attack! “Whaa!” You should convert all your money to gold bars and buy freeze dried beans in five-gallon buckets to store in the basement. To be prepared to survive the Joe Biden apocalypse, alien invasion, or Biblical Rapture. “Be Prepared,” that’s the boy scout motto.

Plenty of guns and a million or so rounds of ammo, and it even begins to sound like a cult. No one outside the cult can be trusted. You can only get your information from the cult. Everyone else is out to get you because they’re bad. Bad, bad people out to hurt us, because they envy what we have here and wish to destroy it with “Wokeness.”

They hate America and are out to get us! So, you better buy a gun! A big gun! “Republican” begins to sound more like medical diagnosis than a political Party. “I’m sorry to tell you this, but your son is a Republican.” Oh no, not that! Why God? Take Me! Where did I go wrong! How did I fail my little boy so? (So, wasn’t really his name.)I tried to teach him to love people, but I guess the message it didn’t take.

The Republicans as a Party are shattered and scattered. With some, accepting some of the programing but not all of it. And some, accepting all of the programing without reservation. But they’ve followed the orange pied piper off into the woods and now he’s stepped on a landmine and the music stopped. They rub their heads as if waking from a dream. Until all that is left is their anger, paranoia, and general meanness towards the world and human life in general.

Mitt Romney and Rand Paul, led Republicans in voting against aid to veterans exposed to burn pits in the military. Voting against helping wounded soldiers, another proud day for the Republican Party. The reason for their vote was as obvious, as it was sickening. It is suspected that Joe Biden’s deceased son had developed cancer after being exposed to burn pits. They would never vote for anything that is connected or in any way sympathetic towards Joe Biden.

They are sick and warped and cruel, and they have just about played out their tether with the America people. The very idea, that maybe Ron DeSantis can save us from our ills…In a pig’s eye!

***

“Republicans don’t like people to talk about depressions. You can hardly blame them for that. You remember the old saying: Don’t talk about rope in the house where somebody has been hanged.” ― Harry S. Truman

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