By David Glenn Cox
Its not unlike the sound of a cat getting its tail caught in the screen door. Man this is Washington a Go, Go! Beach Blanket Bingo! Hollywood for ugly people! Huey Lewis and the News, “The Heat is On!” It just don’t get much better than this folks and yet, it promises to give so much more. The former Ohio State men’s locker room attendant turned conspirator/congress person Jim Jordan tweets, “Real Americans don’t care about January 6th.” Then underneath… “Gas is over $5.00 a gallon!”
And admittedly when I hear Jim speak, I do feel somewhat unreal. I wonder at a congressman’s that’s never proposed any legislation. If through serendipity you found yourself in Congress. Wouldn’t you like some memento of your time there? Something to tell your grand kids about. Renaming the highway out of town or having new wheels put on the Civil War cannons out in front of the courthouse.
He’s a safe spot on the map and provided you know how to keep your mouth shut. And don’t do anything stupid, any boob could do it. Jim’s a case in point.
Jim says, “Nobody cares about January 6th” Hey!!! Hey!!! Hey!!! Look over here! Gas Prices! High Gas Prices! You just couldn’t get any more obvious. Like Al Capone saying, “Nobody cares about my Income taxes!” These aren’t they droids you’re looking for! Whistling passed the graveyard as the cold wind blows. “I’m not scared! I’m not scared! I’m not scared!” Like fun, he’s not.
The tempo is noticeably getting faster. Only a couple of days ago, Ginni Thomas said she couldn’t wait to testify before the committee, blustering the conservative bluster. Bluster that sounds much like her husband has been giving her legal advice. “When cornered attack. If they ask about pubic hair get indignant!” But she ain’t said nothing yet to nobody. And this is just a guess of mine, but I think she’ll stall her yakking. Hoping against hope, the committee will dry up and all go away.
But only yesterday, with the revelations of her emails. Congressmen have begun to call for her husband, Clearance Thomas to resign from the high court with impeachment on the table, regardless of whether his wife ever testifies or not.
In pure comic relief mode, Donald Twump says, “He’d strongly considering pardons for all, if reelected. And free beer and picnics every Saturday too. Everyone who votes for me will get their own Ferrari and a free weekend of your choice, at either the White House or Camp David. Too much perhaps?
Here in Arizona, candidate Karen something or other wants a job says, She’s mad as hell and not going to take it anymore! if elected, she’ll whip inflation’s ass with one hand tied behind her back. Then, she’ll clean up the mess at the border like a cleanup on aisle five. She’ll teach our children good morals, and everything will just be dandy and wonderful. Did I mention that she’s running for Governor? How is the governor of Arizona going to fight inflation? How will she fix the border problem, between this line here and this line here?
Those foundling fathers were so clever, that they answered a question even before it was asked. And even before Arizona was a thought. Band the states together in a Union of sorts. That way if a problem was too large for any one state. The Federal government could step in and supply experts and manpower in the field, all along the border. Sometimes when flooding is the problem, they call on the Army Corps. of Engineers. Trained professionals with the logistics and know how necessary to handle such emergencies.
But Karen is holding an issues free campaign. She’ll slaughter the Ice Giants for you and bring that long coveted Super bowl victory to the Cardinals. She’s running against Joe Biden and those free spending Liberals in Washington, but she isn’t going to Washington.
It isn’t that she doesn’t want to keep all her promises if she could. “Yes, Billy, I’ll hit a home run for you in this afternoon’s big baseball game. And now, don’t you worry little Billy, you’ll walk again. You have my word on it. I’ll make your neighbors dog stop barking and put tar in the cracks in the concrete on your driveway. “
These things I’m willing to fight for! “Only a moron wouldn’t cast their vote for Monty Burns!”
Republican candidates in Michigan complained the court wasn’t being fair. In throwing out their voter petitions generated by college students or buzzed teenagers outside the liquor store working for the minimum wage. M. Mouse. Mrs. M. Mouse. M. Mouse Jr. Mrs. M. Mouse Jr. Mike Mouse. Mrs. Mike Mouse. And they just threw them out Just because they hate conservatives and didn’t have any addresses on them.
That’s the hard part, making up all those addresses. Mickey has to live somewhere you know. 123 Antelope Freeway. 123 Antelope Place. 123 Antelope Way or 123 Antelope Annex. Maybe, 123 Antelope War Memorial Annex. And for a few thousand little discrepancies like that, the judge just threw them out.
And this week on Mr. Lindell’s Neighborhood. Mike teaches the kids what to do when you face a disappointment or a setback. “That’s right kids, when Walmart cancelled my contract, I got ape shit angry and pissed off, and started breaking stuff! Two-thousand-dollar laptop “WHAM!” up against the wall. Then, I picked it up again and “Bam!” smashed it again against the desk. Just like Pete Townsend! Don’t hold in your emotions kids! Let em all out! Break stuff! Yell real loud and cuss, piss and moan!”
It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood. A beautiful day for a neighbor, watch me break stuff, it’s not your stuff, only my stuff.
We are beginning to see that the bags under the eyes and the circles around the drain are getting smaller in diameter and much more dynamic in speed. It was just last week, the media mused if John Eastman, the criminal, criminal attorney to would be strongman Donald Twump could be in any legal danger. With each passing revelation, it becomes clearer, and clearer, that someone needs to take that boy’s passport away from him. Before he does the Dubai disappearing act or the Beebe Rebozo shuffle.
Today, the media asks, “How long a prison term do you think Eastman will get?” The water temperature is starting to rise and Froggy is beginning to take notice in Froggy bottom upside down. And Froggy is beginning to get a bit uncomfortable. While the Republicans bark and bay trying to tell (distract) Americans what’s really important. Twump’s unfavorable poll numbers rose ten points in five days to 55% unfavorable.
Meaning Twump’s reelection chances are rapidly evaporating away to irrelevance. From not a chance in hell. To not a snowball’s chance in hell. Republican congressmen are changing their focus from reelection to avoiding incarceration. So, who would have thunk it, that asking for a pardon for a crime, could cause such trouble or would be seen to imply criminal guilt?
“I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell.”
― Harry S. Truman