Bargaining for His Clothes

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

It was one of the usual Facebook memes that come up periodically and idiotically. A Christian on the defensive, and out to start the war on Christmas a little early this year. Something to the effect of; “If you bash Christians in your comments, unfriend me now!!” I first checked to see if we were somehow friends. Then I thought of sending her a friend request, just so I could unfriend her later, if she accepted.

Instead, I pointed out that people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Or let he who is without sin cast the first one. To come on the most public, public forums on Earth. And declare that all should be quiet and watch their tongues for this person’s religious beliefs are sensitive and beyond reproach. Confusing godly concepts with ecclesiastical earthly realities. My right to hold ludicrous far-fetched religious beliefs supersedes your right to be critical of them. So, just hold on to those snakes and pray heathen!

The Christian church has been subverted into a rightwing political organization/cult. But “don’t complain,” they say, or I’ll unfriend you. This is team stupid and beyond the capabilities of any one person alone. I say this because it is a preemptive claim of victimhood. “Us Christians are so hard pressed and put upon.” Losing football coaches have to pray on the 50-yard line. Winning football coaches don’t have to pray at all. They like winning football coaches well enough already, so they need not curry favor by using the Bible.

It’s an old southern tradition, praying at football games. It is a ploy most often used by politicians on the make. Years ago, when I was in Montgomery our southern fried gun toting, cigar chewing mayor did the same thing. A suit was brought against praying at football games because obviously, this was a public-school function and not a Sunday school function. But boy, was it good headlines.

 Almost like it was scripted, Mayor Moamar Folmar declared that he didn’t care what the ACLU said, or what the Federal courts said neither. And since the majority of the citizenry were Bible thumping hard shell Southern Baptists, they cheered him on with their approval. And while, we’re on the subject of church and state. Did you know that your chances of being an Atheist, Agnostic or holding non-Judeo-Christian beliefs? Are directly related to the number and quality of books you have read in your life, and to the number of years you went to school?

Thus, in one of the poorest and least educated parts of the country, you find the strongest beliefs. Mayor Moamar assured them that he would fight in federal court down to their last tax dollar. For their right to lead prayer before a high school football game. It would have been perfectly legal under the court ruling to have had a benediction or a moment of silent reflection. Or even a private prayer, with a sincere hope that nobody gets hurt tonight. They just couldn’t call it a public prayer or lead people in it, but that wouldn’t get headlines, now, would it?

Christians don’t believe in magic; they believe in the Supernatural. Occurrences happening outside of the regular laws of physics and generally accepted rules of reality. Dead people coming back to life. God stopping the sun from revolving around the earth or turning water into wine. It’s not magical, it’s supernatural.

Seas dividing with burning shrubbery which talks, and gives mankind rules up on a mountaintop. Make an old man climb a mountain why don’t you, when God could have told him about the rules for mankind at home. But that wouldn’t get headlines, now, would it? God is everywhere, but he still needs for you to climb the damn mountain.

Promising accommodations in the next world in exchange for cash in this one. Betting on a horse when you’ll never live long enough to see the end of the race. But if the church simply stayed inside the church building and quietly practiced their faith, they would never hear a word out of me. But I’ll be damned, if I’ll sit silently while the Reich Wing uses the church like the Ho Chi Minh trail to subvert our democracy.

The American Taliban will be resisted as church attendance continues to decline. The church being the driving force for implementing faith-based solutions to override science and common sense. They want to protect the illusive lost traditional values.

 You know, women in the kitchen and Gays hanging themselves in the basement. Maybe sing some traditional folk songs. About a young girl who drown in the river because her lover never returned (And she was pregnant.) Those good ole days when young girls raped by a relative, were sent away to hide their awful shame. An Ohio law forces a raped 10-year-old girl to leave the state to have an abortion. So much for compassionate Conservatism, I guess.

It is nothing less than Jane Crow back of the bus laws. Laws implemented to enforce religious conformity on a specific population with the goal of limiting their voice and rights in society. Abortion is only the method; conformity is the goal. First, they came for the abortionist, but I was not an abortionist. Then they came for the Gays and Transsexuals, but I was not Gay or Transsexual. Courts enforcing religious beliefs on non-believers, courts forcing public dollars into private religious educational facilities long on Bible thumping Reich Wing rhetoric, and short on substance.

If you want to scare your kids with a bunch of backwoods hillbilly magic nonsense, about ghosts and demons and people flying through the air, that’s your business. But I shouldn’t have to pay for it. I’d much rather see a mile of highway paved than discriminatory signs on the bathroom doors. I’d rather see more books in the library than to see the money spent on court cases to get books removed.

That’s the devil’s bargain for Jesus’s clothes. The blue haired ladies and slicked back Brylcreem preachers get their social desires publicly satisfied. While the politicians cut taxes for the rich and make states like Alabama, a garbage waste dump and a polluters wet dream.

Obviously, these things go directly against our national charter. Lying and corrupt Extreme Court Justices shall have no quarter, until removed. It is no longer simply a question of tax policy or government philosophy; it’s become the new Civil Rights movement. A judicial coup d’état imposing laws which violate the founding principles of the country. Feeding the beast until the beast threatens to engulf us all, if we don’t cage the beast first.


There is one notable thing about our Christianity: bad, bloody, merciless, money-grabbing and predatory as it is — in our country particularly, and in all other Christian countries in a somewhat modified degree — it is still a hundred times better than the Christianity of the Bible, with its prodigious crime — the invention of Hell. Measured by our Christianity of to-day, bad as it is, hypocritical as it is, empty and hollow as it is, neither the Deity nor His Son is a Christian, nor qualified for that moderately high place. Ours is a terrible religion. The fleets of the world could swim in spacious comfort in the innocent blood it has spilt.” – Mark Twain

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