By David Glenn Cox
I’ve just received my Arizona primary election guide in the mail. It is a very interesting publication and makes for delightful reading. The primary election is where many successful political careers begin, and where many evaporate into a forgotten yard sign memory in the garage. Your wife told you so, but you wouldn’t listen. You, with your Walter Mitty dreams of real power.
Two completing visions of reality. One vision, based on better jobs and better schools, and working together to try and make things better all-around for everyone. The other, straight fear, no chaser. Send armed troops to the border! To arrest the “Narco Terrorists” and return any and all (papers please) who unlawfully crossed the border!
Not only that, but she’ll also ban books! And she will finish Twump’s wall. (All by herself if need be!) But not that she’s over promising or anything when she says, “she will work to bring in new sources of water to Arizona.” How’s that? Unless you know a good rain dance or have god’s ear.
As it has been reported by the media, Arizona and the West are suffering under a serious drought situation. But fear not, it hasn’t stopped the construction of tens of thousands of new homes, built for people just like you! But wait a second, why would you ever want to come here?
According to my voter’s guide and the Republican candidates in my voter’s guide, Arizona is a hellscape. Overrun with crime and Narco terrorism, illegal immigration and human trafficking and bad schools. So serious, the candidate demands we call out the army and make this place more like Beirut or Baghdad.
Of course, she will cut taxes and eliminate those expensive regulations. Regulations put in place to protect who? (See: New sources of water.) Or as Mr. Twain once put it, “Whiskey’s for drinking and waters for fighting over.” You can’t imagine without being here, how tightly the water is regulated.
And now that there is less of it, “expensive regulations” are code words. These “expensive regulations” bump up against things like growth. These developers based in Chicago, Cincinnati, or Newark, they just build them, they don’t live in them or care what happens next.
It’s a planned community; they plan to take as much money from it as possible and start over again somewhere else. At least, that’s the plan.
But the Republican candidates all embrace the BIG LIE. The BIG Twump LIE about stolen elections and dishonest election counts. We know now, what the Republican candidates did not know at the time of printing the voter’s guide. That actual testimony would emerge of Twump being told on election night that he had lost the election fair and square, and that no fraud had been involved.
Twump then created the BIG LIE out of whole cloth to preserve his chances to overthrow the government. But now to those imbibing in reality, it has always been Twump’s BIG LIE. Only now, the proof is available for all in the cult who would dare to hear it and smash the mirror.
And every last Republican candidate in Arizona, regardless of office or station are running on a platform of an issue that doesn’t exist. Change the name of the subject from election integrity to Space Aliens or Big Foot.
And the campaign begins to take on its true character. “I’m the only candidate involved in court cases banning cheating and electronic Space Aliens! To take back control of our border from Narco terrorists and Big Foots! Make sure our libraries are safe from Space Alien trash or books promoting the Big Foot lifestyle to our children.
Does your boy like to spend time in the woods alone? Does he run at the sight of a camera? He’s being groomed for the Big Foot lifestyle. Those dirty books in the library have finally worked their magic once again and turned a good boy into a Big Foot lover. Ah yes, all the work of the Space Aliens after all. Let’s put signs on the restroom doors that say “Big Foot Keep Out! Under penalty of law.” Any Big Foot caught using this restroom, will be fined $50.00.
Oh, the sad irony of assuming that Big Foot can read or carries cash. When everyone already knows that he has no pockets.
Entire campaigns based on non-existent issues. The army is for fighting wars and not designed for guarding the border. People crossing that border are looking for jobs and risk their lives trying to cross burning deserts to get here. This isn’t done on a whim; this is done in last chance desperation. How long do you suppose it will take for the army to guard the border, and who will pay for the privilege, since the plan is to cut taxes? Good plan, increase spending and cut taxes, what could go wrong?
But its imperative if America is to survive at all. To keep Big Foot and the Space Aliens at bay and under control. Because more than anything, Big Foot and the Space Aliens are out to destroy your religious liberty! You’re gonna love this one. “I have worked hard for a front row seat in the American dream, as your Governor I will do everything possible to make sure you (little people) have a fair chance to share and prosper.” Just like me! But you’ll never be welcome at my country club. So don’t even try. Entitled much?
The time has come the walrus said to talk of many things, campaigns of fantasy about issues of pixie dust. Donald Twump has put the bar down across their knees and sent the little car careening adventurously down the roller coaster track. Locked into a position valid six weeks ago, but fading fast, as yet another eyewitness prepares to testify.
Making their own positions that much more untenable to face. So that they must ignore the facts and burrow deeper into the conspiracy. Lauren (low rent) Boebert says, “Conservative women find themselves under attack.” And it’s true, but only when pointing to their hypocrisy.
It’s been a rule in society since people wore togas. If you act and speak like a hypocrite, someone in Athens (Greece, not Georgia) will call you out on it! So yes, Conservative women are under attack for the same reason we use penicillin and the Hoover.
It’s like 1984, and the Republicans are all running against Goldstein. But there is no Goldstein. He’s just a made-up imaginary ruler. Someone to give the plebs a face, something to focus their two minutes of hate on. An imaginary predator in an imaginary jungle, waiting behind the imaginary shrubbery to tear you apart. Living in a dream world and untethered to reality. You’ll never convince them the images they saw on that cave wall aren’t true.
Pretending like they are the Sun King; I shall give you more water! I shall protect you from Narco terrorists and human traffickers too. I’ll work hard so that even worthless little shits, like you, can succeed if you’ll only just vote for me. I’ll make your crops grow, and let developers do whatever the hell they want to do. I’ll let the pumps run until the water’s all gone. I’ll even fix those expensive regulations for you!
“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn’t be. And what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?”
― Lewis Carroll