The Time of Things We Put Away

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

The munchkins begin to appear cautiously from behind the shrubbery. To investigate the large Kansas farmhouse, that just landed inside the beltway near the highway off ramp. A single fatality, male and orange and identified by his red ties and the large orange grease spot. Twump tells his staff that he must get reelected President to protect himself from the long arm of the law.

That is clearly delusional thinking, “I’ll get reelected President, yeah sure. It’ll be great! Just like the old days! The Fuhrer ordering up ten new divisions immediately! If I were King, I wouldn’t have to worry about stuff like this, if I were King.” But King Midas can’t tell yet, that he’s starting to lose his golden touch as it is rapidly turning to brass.

Munchkins are timid creatures and won’t begin to celebrate, until they’re certain the witch is dead. Outgoing Arizona Governor Duh, duh, Ducey has had a change of heart. Last year, Ducey was a Twumpizoid through and through. This year, he’s reenacting the murder scene from MacBeth springing up and endorsing the Non-Twump endorsed candidate in the Governor’s race. Plus, Twump is coming to town next week. How dare he?

Two years ago, Ducey was carrying so much water for Twump they had to stop giving him buckets. His nose was always within radar range of the Presidential sphincter and his lips were set and locked on pucker. And now, for Ducey to say what he said with the Orange Apocalypse coming to town. Sounds like a range war, a nascent revolutionary front forming against Twump. In effect, trying to push Twumpism off the agenda.

The baboon tested, Twump approved candidate Kari Lake, is running with the old tried and true, stolen election theme ala, the Twump lie. Arrest everyone! (Snore) In fact, most of the Republicans are running with that. But it doesn’t help much when that theory is all but dissolving, like a dream before their eyes.

Every day it gets harder and harder to push the big lie. Until Ducey maintains that Republicans should be focused on 2022 or 2202, if you speak Republican. Trying to relitigate the last election is a sure loser.  Ding, ding, ding, It only took them two years to figure it out. No Sherlock Holmes schooling or nothin. That’s why the jigsaw puzzle box says 4 to 6 years and orange juice can says “concentrate.”

Two years to figure out the con man was feeding them a line of bullshit designed only to help the con man. Caught now betwixt and between, the Arizona Republicans must now either accept the baptism of Twumpism. Or join with Ducey and the rebels at their secret rebel stronghold, hidden somewhere inside of a captured reality. But how to turn a 180? From a sycophant to the leader of the rebel resistance.

Ducey is term limited out of office, so he has little to fear. So, it’s okay now to turn on the old guy. Settle up those old scores after being called  “Dig dug” or “What’s his name.” (Boy if I ever get my chance to!) So, the orange Cheese whiz is coming to town to endorse Kari Lake.

Kari Lake will, in turn, endorse the big lie. See how that works? If you support the big lie, the big lie supports you back! The con man maintains his credibility through support from the leading Republican politicians and the leading Republican politicians feed off the Twump brand. “Here’s your script and here’s your tit, now start sucking.”

“Kari Lake is “misleading” voters aka “lying” with no evidence,” says Ducey. Godzilla meets Mothra, let’s get ready to rumble! The battle to decide which side of reality the Arizona Republican party will actually land on. Twump’s dreams of reelection are a farce when it’s not even certain if he could carry most of the Republican Party in Arizona.

Another brick in the wall and yet another milestone for the fat guy. Twump is grasping at straws now and leaping into fantastic scenarios of magic thinking. “I’ll just get reelected President or I’ll borrow Jeff Bezos’s rocket and go live on another planet until the heats off. I’m ready for my close-up now, Mr. Deville.”

I’ll bet the Mira Lago lobby looks like the Reich Chancellery in the last days. Empty hallways of strewn papers with disgruntled retirees booked into the hotel by mistake. “What? I thought you’d like it. Expedia said it was nice.”

Former Republican Senator Alan Simpson says the Republican Party is now a cult. Doctor Obvious strikes again and takes a bow. But it is like puddles drying up on the driveway, Twumpism is dead. Dead like someone dropped a house on it.

Only some Republican politicians still embrace the big lie now, while others say, “Let’s not look back (Back when we were all crazy and out of our heads.) let’s just look forward from now on! Let’s promise never to speak of it again and just pretend it all never happened! Like it was all just a bad dream.

The largest inaugural crowd ever, little rocket boy or appearing before the Pope dressed like the Adams Family, just forget about it! Just forget it all ever happened! The President appearing with the Queen of England in a tuxedo rented from Express Lube, forget it, it never happened.

The cult is moving on in the face of a new religious schism. Whether to stick to it out with the old ways and the old theology of making baseless charges of stolen elections or voter irregularities. Or to follow the new path and not to speak about those dark times anymore, nor to ever tell our children of them. Nor dare ever to mention his name. The ramparts of lies beaten down by the missiles of truth, so let us not speak of those times anymore. They won’t denounce Twump, but only attempt to blot him out of the public’s memory banks.

Battle axes in the Prescott Valley in a battle royal for the soul of the Republican Party. The old guard versus the new wave. The little orange engine who thought he could and those who now think that they can wish him away into the cornfield and forget it all ever happened.

Tell me brother, do you remember the old times? The time of things we put away and not remembered anymore.

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