By David Glenn Cox
I have a faithful reader who has encouraged me on multiple occasions to investigate Hunter Biden’s nefarious activities. (Yeah exactly) Any journalist worth his Buster Brown’s is hot on trail of that story, but which one? Hunter Biden Laptop? Hunter Biden Gun? Or Hunter Biden smuggles a small nuclear device into the Winter Olympic Games!
In fairness, I was willing to giver a look see, but in honesty, I didn’t expect to find much. But what I found is a cottage industry. Hunter Biden did this; Hunter Biden did that! Hunter Biden is broke! No, Hunter Biden is rich! Hunter bought a gun! They should put him in jail, but as for my wicked self. I can only tip my hat to a criminal of a such high activity and low caliber. He makes Black beard the pirate look like a panhandler. He’s damned near a Bond Villain!
“Come in 007, we’ve been expecting you.” It’s you! I should have guessed it all along. HB is the secret code name for Hunter Biden and his dastardly plot to take over the world! “Exactly 007!” (pets white cat) laughs maniacally.
Now at first, the story was about Hunter Biden’s laptop. Then Rudy Giuliani repeatedly called it a hard drive. He said that he had it in his possession, so he should know. Maybe it was a laptop originally, but when Rudy woke up (came to) one morning. He found that the laptop had somehow mysteriously been broken into a million pieces on the floor and smelled of Jim Beam.
Would Rudy know a hard drive from a four-wheel drive, after five o’clock? I’m just going to say this, “Four Seasons” and leave it there. Well maybe, Mike Lindell told him it was a hard drive.
Do you know according to confirmed reports, Hunter Biden’s assistant, once asked him in an email what to do about late health insurance premiums and making his Porsche payment? How dare he own a Porsche! Nobody ever has to juggle their car payments and health insurance payments in this country. So, what’s he up to?
Separate him from the herd by naming the Porsche (Elitism). Then slam him for being late on his payments. The rich prick doesn’t pay his bills. Yeah, but that’s only because he’s such a bad businessman, he’s always broke. Always broke, despite all the free corrupt business, his dad shovels his way. Come on, make up your mind fellas! Which is it? Is he a criminal mastermind or a deluded doofus on Quaaludes?
The volume speaks for itself, as no other private citizen in America has garnered this much press. More press than a rap singer shot in the ass in church. And about so many accused crimes, that it can’t be anything besides a screw job. Swift boating 101, that Billy Carter sure is a bum. Truman, they said, hung out with his “cronies.” They were respected businessman, but because they hung out with Truman, they were his “cronies.”
Not since Hillary Clinton paraded the stages of the Reich wing press as the American Godzilla. Singularly responsible for more deaths than the Spanish Flu. But I can prove Hillary’s innocence beyond a reasonable doubt. If as alleged, Hillary had this secret band of murderers and cut throats at her command. And she could murder anyone with impunity and was responsible for most, if not all, of the mysterious deaths in the Washington metropolitan area as alleged. Would Bill Clinton still be with us?
Let’s play an imaginary game here called, Who Would Hillary Kill, if she knew that she could get away with it? See? She’s innocent. If not, Bill would have taken a tragic fall from a single step. Or been murdered by a backyard intruder, while walking the family dog they never had, years ago.
Do you know who the most Liberal member of the United States Senate is? It’s a trick question, it is whichever one is running for President. Eugene McCarthy, Al Gore, John Kerry. Kerry threw his war medals over a fence in protest. Medals earned for his meritorious service in Vietnam.
As for me, I’m voting for the rich drunk, who wouldn’t take a drug test and was grounded after a million dollars had been spent on his pilot training. If you get tired of flying over Houston, you just quit now, you here? You front line boys in your river patrol boats, you just don’t understand how hard it can be on us back home in the states.
Kerry was being shot at while “W”, was doing shots. But despite his medals, Kerry was no good. “W” on the other hand, was very good…at doing shots and following the little white line with his nose.
Faux News reports Joe Biden met with at least fourteen of Hunter Bidens business associates, while Vice-President. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? OMG, Biden was Vice President for eight years! That’s 2,922 days. It means that Joe Biden was nefariously meeting with a Hunter Biden business associate, like clock work every 208 days!
Now, exactly what qualifies one to be a Hunter Biden business associate? Does your mom slipping you some money under the table, qualify her as a business associate? Seems it would, and if these other business associates are also family members and long held family friends, are they also associates too? Yes, indeed.
So, what did Joe Biden do exactly with Hunter Biden’s business associates while Vice-President? Nothing, absolutely nothing at all zip, nada. A story completely without foundation. If you went to college with Hunter or belong to the Knights of Columbus, you’re one of Hunter’s cronies. “Hunter Biden Crony arrested for DUI!”
The Republican smear machine operates because they can’t bring Republicans up by talking about issues. They must always tear others down, so that you won’t notice the Republican deficiencies. Don Rickles politics, “Don’t look at me, look at you, you hockey puck.”
“Whadda need with Social Security? Yeah, real Americans don’t need Social Security or Medicare! Toughen up buttercup. Die in the streets, who cares?”
Hunter Biden gets a note from the HOA that his grass is too long. “Hunter Biden in Trouble with the law again!” Don Jr. shows up for daddy’s convention flying higher than Neil & Buzz and speaking of buzz, higher than a Jeff Bezos dick rocket. No, no story there. I keep that picture always, because someday I plan on buying new Ford Mustang. Sweet with all the bells and whistles, and I want that color red, the same color as Jr’s eyes. Fiery red!
Did you know in testimony before a New York Grand Jury Erc Twump took the 5th Amendment against self-incrimination almost 500 times. I couldn’t even think of 100 things to incriminate myself on in a good day. I can’t image Al Capone taking the 5th even two or three hundred times in any given 24-hour period. You know what daddy Twump says, “Only criminals take the 5th Amendment” and he should know!
A chip off the old block head and only appearing as necessary. And to think, he took the 5th almost 500 times and barely ripple across the water.
Also, in our Faux news today. A sixty-foot-tall Hillary Clinton was last seen headed for Tokyo with her eye set on destroying some commuter trains. And to snarl up the five o’clock traffic. Behind the scene reports say, Bill Clinton is missing!
“These Republican leaders have not been content with attacks on me, or my wife, or on my sons. No, not content with that, they now include my little dog, Fala. Well, of course, I don’t resent attacks, and my family doesn’t resent attacks, but Fala does resent them. You know, Fala is Scotch, and being a Scottie, as soon as he learned that the Republican fiction writers in Congress and out had concocted a story that I’d left him behind on an Aleutian island and had sent a destroyer back to find him—at a cost to the taxpayers of two or three, or eight or twenty million dollars—his Scotch soul was furious. He has not been the same dog since. I am accustomed to hearing malicious falsehoods about myself … But I think I have a right to resent, to object, to libelous statements about my dog.” – FDR