By David Glenn Cox
It is a sad day. Time to get out the violins and pass out the hankies. Celebrity blob and human impersonator, Alex Jones has a 45-million-dollar judgment levied against him. It’s shocking though it really shouldn’t be, but it is illustrative. Twenty-four hours later, the world’s poorest excuse for a human being, Roger Stone begins to make fundraising appeals for Jones.
Sometimes, you just have to put some people in jail to make them stop. That’s all there is to it. Roger Stone is a professional political operative. That’s his job, that is what he does for a living. If you need a pizza, you call Dominoes. If you need someone to start a fund-raising appeal for you, you call Roger. Roger is not known as being altruistic and there are no freebies in Stone Town.
So nod, nod, wink, wink Roger stone is campaigning for honest donations for that poor, poor collection of human cells, Alex Jones. Grifting off the grift, asking the suckers to dig deep one more time. But even Alex Jones doesn’t have the chutzpah to ask himself for donations. “They want my money! Won’t you please help?” Enter Roger Stone. Sometimes, you just have to put some people in jail to make them stop.
After Harold Hill’s plan to sell the parents musical instruments. For a phony marching band scam for their children was exposed. Hill then asked, if he could sell them some real nice band uniforms at a fair price. That’s the mark of a real pro. A jury awards a huge judgment against you, and you begin a campaign to get others to pay off the debt for you the very next day.
They probably held a staff meeting about it with excel spreadsheets, on how to get the suckers to pay our judgment. Like the film, “A Face in the Crowd.” Lonesome Rhodes will be back. But due to unpleasant headlines, Jones will let other speak for him for the time being. Then after an appropriate while, Jones will start muttering about freedom of the press again and how he is the victim of a conspiracy. Then, before you can say Jack Daniels for breakfast! Jones will have the suckers back on the hook again.
But that seems to be all the rage in Republican circles this fall. CPAC (Conservative People Acting Crazy) featured Brandon Straka, the Republican dupe convicted on charges associated with January 6th. Sitting in a mock sell and begging for money. In the corner of his cell was a hat with money in it.
Either Straka is pan handling or he’s giving table dances. And no trip to the vomitorium would be complete without Marge Tater Greene praying over the poor man putting in her special “whoop, whoop!” super special come on Jesus’ magic on him. Praying for non-repentant criminal sinners, I’m sure god listens when Tater talks.
Remember the boy who cried wolf? Each time the boy had to embellish the wolf story to get the same notice. This time it’s a whole pack of wolves, with guns and speaking Arabic. The grifingest grifter that ever grifted a grift. Donald Twump is suing CNN for calling Twump a liar, whenever Twump lied. All contained in a 282-page complaint. Now we find out, that every time that CNN documented a Twump lie. Twump was documenting CNN documenting his lie. For use later in possible litigation and fundraising.
Only in America, can a burglar sue for tripping over the ottoman in the living room at three in the morning. The biggest liar ever to ever come down the pike, winner of fifteen Golden face palm awards. For outrageous lying in the face of obvious reality. Donald Twump is suing CNN, and he needs your help. Three guess how? Sign a petition? “no.” Come to Washington D.C. and show their ass again? “no.” Send money, yes, send money.
Twump is asking his most loyal subjects to help him sue CNN. Because he can’t do it alone, you know, send money! Why with his lawyers and your money, he could really do something but won’t. How many times can he go to the well? There has to be a bottom someplace, eventually even for the die-hard suckers! “Well okay Don, if you say so, but this is the very last time. If you really need the money being a billionaire and all, I’ll just write you a check. But this is the last time, Don.”
Now Don Junior has been asking me for money for years. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, that’s my motto. He’s asked for money to fight liberals like Nancy Pelosi and protect the second amendment. Every few days he wrote about some new attack on our liberty. What is peculiar this time is the Twumpster is directly asking himself. Think: end of the Jerry Lewis Labor Day telethon. “You’ll never walk alone!” Happy because it’s for a good cause and happier still because it’s over.
Grifters got to grift. “Excuse me sir, but I’m the former President of the United States. And I was wondering if maybe, you might have a quarter or a dollar or something to help me out in my fight against CNN. Thank you sir and God bless you sir. Excuse me ma’am, I wonder if you could help me out? I’m a former President of the United States down on his luck. I wonder if you could help me out with a couple of dollars to get me through the day. Oh, thank you ma’am and God bless you! Excuse me sir, I wonder if you could help me out!”
The pan handling President. The shameless huckster.
“Hi, I’m Denny Hastert. Many of you may remember me as the former Republican Speaker of the House. That was before I was convicted of raping little boys and sent to prison. You know, many Republicans suffer from the detrimental effects of law enforcement every day. They suffer financially, won’t you please help? Won’t you please give to the Republican criminal defense fund? Nearly every day, a Republican goes to jail from a lack of legal funds, won’t you please help? Hard time is a terrible thing to waste.
“Just as there are physical monsters, can there not be mental or psychic monsters born? The face and body may be perfect, but if a twisted gene or malformed egg can produce physical monsters, may not the same process produce a malformed soul?
Monsters are variations from the accepted normal to a greater or a less degree.” – John Steinbeck