Won’t You Guess My Name

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

I get the distinct impression that Twump is between Twix and Tween. That the blows are coming too fast now to put up a cohesive front. I first questioned the wisdom of the FBI admitting that there was a mole inside the Reich’s Chancellery in Orwellian occupied territory of Florida. Telling Twump there’s a mole…too funny.

But let us assume for just a moment, that they sat around a big oak table at the Justice Department and fleshed this plan out some. Maybe run a few simulations and then use the system and the dumb clucks inability to close his big dumb mouth to let him sink himself. “So, let’s tell him we have someone on the inside, watching his every move.”

Now, if we kick in his door and yell, “everybody freeze!” He’s gonna squeal like a stuck pig. He’s going to run straight over to the Reich wing media with a big wet spot on his pants. And tell them all about the big blue meanies coming to his house. John Law, The popo, the five o, visions of Jack Webb. “Just the facts ma’am.”

“They’re all picking on me! It’s all political! It’s all a witch hunt.” Then the Winston Smith Division takes over and starts the full rewrite. “It’s all political, they didn’t have one good reason to storm into  “My beautiful home” like that! Not one! Storm Troopers! In Joe Biden’s America!

“Oh yeah, well, if you guys had such a good reason for a raid, why don’t you show us your warrant then, tough guy!” Already knowing, that the suspect can release the contents of the warrant at any time that they like. Traditionally, the Justice Department doesn’t talk about what’s in the warrant, because they don’t have too. They don’t have to explain why they do what they do. They just do it, it’s all in the warrant. That’s where the expression, “Tell it to the judge” comes from.

Twump’s strategy was to try and undermine the reason for the raid. Trusting the Justice Department wouldn’t release the contents of exactly what they were looking for. Enter Merrick Garland and boom; “we were looking for nuclear secrets.” Played, like a cheap kazoo! That information never needed to come out in public, until trial. But then they did ask for it, didn’t they? Any other questions? Anything else you would like for us to share and enlighten the public about, for you?

Team Twump just cut a hole in the bottom their boat to let the water out. If only they hadn’t mouthed off so, but then again, maybe somebody had guessed that they would. Officials said, that they feared the highly commercial Nuclear documents, COULD fall into the wrong hands. When obviously, they already had fallen into the wrong hands.  

A question for a Friday discussion. Would Twump sell American nuclear secrets to little rocket boy for a billion or two? The gambler always looking for that big score to put him back on top. “I’ll just keep this in my pocket, In case I ever need quick cash.” Blofeld with his doomsday scenario, “If you try and prosecute me, I’ll give away our nuclear secrets. I’ll do it! I’ve still got a Fax machine!”

Little rocket boy or Vlad the Impaler, Pakistan, India, Israel. The documents could also be used as barter in exchange for an invisible citizenship, somewhere beyond the stars and the reach of law enforcement.

Twump being a gambler and a con man is always planning ahead. His mercenary mercantile mind would assume, “It doesn’t matter, nobody is crazy enough to start a nuclear war. No harm, no foul!” Only tens of millions of taxpayer dollars flushed down the toilet. The only reason that a man like Donald Twump would ever want to keep nuclear documents, is for sale to the highest bidder.

In some way shape form or fashion, Twump was planning on selling us all out. Every last living American man, women or child.

If it had been a thank you note from Queen Elizabeth, or a salacious file on Boris Johnson’s sex life, I could understand him keeping them as a memento. Of that time, he spilled the soup at Buckingham Palace and ruined the tablecloth. “it’s alright sir, it’s only a forty-foot Irish linen tablecloth hundreds of years old, but we have others.” But nuclear secrets? What sort of nostalgia value versus income value, do nuclear secrets hold?

You just have to wonder, if there is even a bottom to this guy’s larceny. We were all convinced that we had found it, with his attempted overthrow of the government. Why, that is the worst thing a President has ever done…Ever! Nothing Twump could possibly do now, that could ever conceivably beat anything worse than that previously, huh?

The question is no longer if Twump could get away with shooting someone on Fifth Avenue. The question now, is could Twump get away with shooting all 300 million of us on Fifth Ave? Opening the gates of Troy and Pandora’s box pulling the horse inside the gate. Selling us out to the highest bidder. And you thought the last treason was bad!

If it had been anyone besides Donald Twump, that raid would have concluded with a frog march and bracelet parade. Nuclear secrets in your bedroom closet? That’s worse that two meth labs and a whore house. I feel sometimes like I’m waiting for big reveal on the season finale of “The Real Devil.”

“Okay, you got me. I am actually Satan himself. Are you happy now? I’m sure that most of you have already figured that out by now. I assumed the orange make up and the blonde wig with this dumbass doofuss personality would be a disguise enough for the hoosters.” And if he’s not Satan, the actual Satan, has grounds for legal action for copyright infringement.

A new verse for “Sympathy for Devil,” “Told you all gonna build a wall, just scam to make all the Twumpers Ball. I shouted out who stole the documents, when after all, you all know it’s me!  Let me please introduce myself, I’m a man of wealth and taste.”

If he ain’t the devil, he’ll do until one comes along. He takes the Fifth Amendment 450 times. “Is your name Donald Twump? Did you arrive here in an automobile? Are you married?” You could interview me for life, and I couldn’t come up with twenty questions to take the Fifth Amendment over. But Twump had famously railed against people taking the Fifth Amendment. Saying that only mobsters and guilty people did that. And when he’s right, he’s right!

Another level has been reached by orange Donkey Kong. He’s now throwing nuclear barrels at the world. And you thought the last treason was bad.

“Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me Lucifer
‘Cause I’m in need of some restraint

So, if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I’ll lay your soul to waste, mm yeah

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, mm yeah
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, mm mean it, get dow

Jagger / Richards

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