By David Glenn Cox
Oh, there is bad news tonight. Rudy “It’s five o’clock somewhere” Giuliani has been informed he’s now considered a target of the investigation in Georgia. That’s bad news for Ms. Lindsey Graham. Graham is fighting his subpoena to testify in the case and is appealing the ruling where he lost. His plan was to try and run out the clock, but now if Rudy sings (Rudy will sing) that will make all that time spent testicle tanning an utter waste.
Lindsey will have his nuts in the fire, because he did the exact same thing that Rudy did. So, if Rudy is now a target, guess who is now an unnamed co-conspirator? Maybe on second thought, running away from the courthouse was the wrong direction. The first one in lays the groundwork to get out. The second person in answers with a lot of “yes sir” or “no sir” without much wiggle room. Twice as vulnerable to get caught in a lie, they already know isn’t true. And then they answer, “Mr. Giuliani testified!”
How would you like for your future to hang on the testimony of Mr. Five o’clock somewhere Giuliani? “America’s drunken Grandpa” Making Rudy a target ratchets up the pressure on Lindsey. Like chess, going after Rudy leaves Lindsey vulnerable. And if there is a charge against Giuliani (That’s the plan) how can Graham hope to escape one himself? I told them six months ago, to quietly liquidate their assets and get one of those Twump “Extra” Passports and go for an extended visit of places never heard of before.
Rudy made phone calls to top Georgia elected officials on behalf of the orange nightmare. Urging the officials to tilt the election and find votes for the nightmare. Lindsey Graham called the exact same Georgia officials with the exact same message hours apart. “Your car may be out of warranty!” Of course, both will say they made the calls out of individual patriotic fervor and were in no ways in cahoots with one another. Twump also made calls to the same officials, so if Rudy is guilty…?
If you take Lindsey down the investigation might stop there. But if you get Rudy, you get Lindsey for free. And then, after you have these two gibbering stalwarts in your pocket. You can pop the question that everybody has been waiting for. “Okay boys, who put you up to this?” Convicting the mob boss by convicting his underlings, by squeezing their nuts real hard until they sing soprano.
The Pro lawless caucus had planned a rally for this weekend in front of the Washington FBI headquarters. The rally has been canceled due to an outbreak of general paranoia. It was soon suspected to be an FBI secret plot to identify and entrap all those who would protest the FBI, in the name of Twump.
Then the FBI would know their names and know where the basements are where they live. And maybe take secret photos of them and maybe follow them around. Start a dossier with a manila folder with a label with their name on it. Maybe ask around the bowling alley about them.
But some folks ain’t afraid of nothing! The Colorado Clampetts, Lauren “Low rent” Boebert and her kin folk had a run in with their neighbors, the Drysdales. No wait, that’s not right. The Boebert’s had a drunken run in with their neighbors. One more time, a violent, drunken run in with the neighbors. Apparently one of their youngins was driving their fancy motor car up and down the street at a high rate of speed. Just like he done back home yonder at the cabin.
He was asked to slow down, which filtered through that fine aged charcoal mellowed Tennessee whiskey to mean, somebody took a swing at my kid! Jayson Boebert shows up and opens the show by running over the neighbor’s mailbox. Nothing you can do in life says drunk on your ass, quite like running over the neighbor’s mailbox.
It’s almost a cliché, the pickup truck, the mailbox, the 911 calls. “Is he armed?” He’s a Boebert! Of course, he’s armed! They’re all loaded and armed! Three sheets in the wind loaded. “You’re all invited back next week to this locality, to have a heaping helping of their hospitality.” Boebert that is, swimming pools and sipping whiskey. Y’all come back now, yeah here?
Devin Nune’s cow has come back to bite Devin on the ass. As you may remember, a story about this famous bovine belonging to Devin put him into such a rage. That he is suing Hearst Media for $75 million. But now, Hearst media responds by wanting to know the details surrounding Twump’s Twuth social media company hiring of Nune’s. Any maybe, they’d rather not talk about it.
Twump complains, the FBI took MY passports, when you’re only supposed to have one. But at this point, it’s like Charlie Manson’s parking tickets. It wouldn’t be Twump if he didn’t have more than one passport. Come on, everybody needs an extra passport why?
Twump probably has a room full of ivory just to have room full of ivory. Illegal slot machines, a menagerie of endangered animals, assorted pelts skins, stolen native artifacts. And in Xanadu’s damp basement, a sled called rosebud.
The news is bad on all fronts. There isn’t one shred of good news for the Republicans. They are reeling on all fronts. John Bolton Twump’s former advisor turned nemesis was debunking Twump’s lies in real time. Twump said, if he waved his hand over a document that meant it was magically declassified. Bolton answered, “That’s news to me! I never saw it done like that.” So Twump says he was taking the work home. Bolton replies, “I never saw you take any work home.”
Famously Twump has the attention span of a goldfish on crack, but somehow with the deviousness of the devil’s spawn. But the fuse has been lit and is inescapable now, as Rudy will testify. If Rudy rolls on Lindsey, the governor of South Carolina might have to pick a new Senator, until the special election can be held. It’s tough to be a Senator under indictment. But if they both roll over, Twump will be looking down the barrel of conspiracy charges along with election tampering, without a leg to stand on. Mr. Big finally taken down and pinned to the mat.
Twump’s mouth his greatest weapon, has finally gone too far and done him in.
They can smell his mortality as Faux host Laura Ingram asks, “Maybe it’s time to turn the page on Donald Twump.”
Yeah, maybe so.
“Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end.
But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.”
― Winston S. Churchill
This Carbon Based Life 