Pink Isn’t Well

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

That’s the way life goes, first your money and then your clothes. Guess what? You probably will find this hard to believe and might even think I’m making it up. Republicans are grousing about money, where is it? The National Party entered the season with 180 something million dollars allocated. And now, with only the first lap of the competition completed, find themselves with only 29 million left in the tank and little to show for it.

While it’s fun to jump around in front of a camera like a man possessed by the devil and speak in tongues and such. And vent your spleen over the outrage of the FBI attacking the Trumper Bunker. They always forget to mention that the FBI FOUND exactly what they were looking for. Hard to feign that much outrage, when the stolen car is found locked in your garage with your belongings in it.

Tis the season to be extremist, traditionally Republicans run to the right during the primary and run to the center in the general election. And that might have been the case today, if not for the Twump factor. They just run to the right and keep going. While last years, Republican was satisfied with individual and specific firings of FBI agents. Now, they want to get rid of the whole shooting match.

In days of yore, a chorus of “Lock her up!” might have been sufficient. But todays new and with-it action Republican calls for execution. Get em up against the wall! “Pink isn’t well, he stayed back at the hotel. But he sent us a long as a surrogate band! And were going to find out where you folks really stand! And that one looks Jewish and that one’s got spots. If I had my way…”

While advocating for the execution of public officials is a sure fire way to garner headlines. It seems that apparently, it has the opposite effect on fundraising. So, it becomes the double whammy. Not only do the big heads think the Republicans are headed for a Wipeout in November. They don’t like what they are saying to boot.

It’s hard, when you own the local Tasty Freeze and support the little league and the local high school football team to also advocate for executing public officials. Corporate CEOs see future headlines, “Fired Former CEO Gave Money to Nazis!”  No, no thanks, we’ll just sit this one out. But you go right ahead on and destroy yourself. It’s hard as chairman of the local Kiwanis to advocate for killing the mayor and the police chief.

And of course, that paragon truth and love and brotherhood. The Christian faith stands by solidly silent, while the forces that will eventually extinguish it, gather when it’s no longer needed. Gather with ropes to hang the heretics in the vestibule! Heretics first, clergy second and church third.

Come on down to McDonalds, where from now until the end of September. We will give away a free soft drink of any size with the execution of any FBI agent! Void where prohibited. Offer not valid in Tennessee, Alaska, or Hawaii. You can see how the messaging can rapidly become incongruent.

The networks will soon be announcing the fall line up, “The Terminators”, a young hard-hitting team of take no prisoners and don’t play by the rule’s assassins. Out to end the ugly rule of civil government in America, by killing just many Federal officials as possible. Did I mention, it takes place in Washington?  

In a master stroke of counter programming comes, “Not Friends.” A group of angry failed to launch millennials, who meet all the time at this cool coffee house. And after they run off all those cool people, begin to bitch and complain about how life is unfair to them. They complain about paying five dollars a gallon for gasoline, while paying six dollars for a 12-ounce cup of coffee. (With free refills, of course.)

It is not that they mind paying that much for gasoline really. It’s just such a golden opportunity to bitch and complain, that it is just unavoidable. Back in the 1970s this swami appeared. He put on his swami hat and gazed deeply into his crystal ball and foretold exactly, what would happen.

Jimmy Carter told America; exactly this was going to happen forty years ago. Rarely, does a President speak so specifically or is proved to be so correct. That we would need to keep a bloated military to defend our energy supplies! And would be subjected to frequent energy shocks. And we’d be forced to make deals with dirty potentates and get into bed with killers. “Let’s go Brandon!”

And so, in a feat of historical irony. They meet today in a coffee house to bitch and complain, about the results of their own policies. The original title of “The Young Republicans” has been scratched, as too partisan. You see, here’s how it works; Donald Twump endorsed and supported Dr. (I’m from) Oz for a Senate seat in Pennsylvania. Now Dr. Oz has made more mistakes than a seventh grade boy trying to get a girl’s bra off. Who knew? He didn’t look like a moron, but it’s now deemed official, he is moron from New Jersey.

And do you know who is to blame for this sad turn of events? No, it’s not Donald Twump’s fault. Oh, heaven forbid, it’s the moron fault for being a moron. Donald Twump backs a moron and then blames him for being a moron and running his campaign like a moron would run it. He’s done such a good job as a Senate candidate that he’s ruined his day job. “You’re listen to Dr. Oz on K-O-R-N. The voice of Cyler City! The buckle in America’s farm belt.”

Not to be out done, Herschel Walker struggles effortlessly  to hold on to his title of World’s Dumbest man. (World book of records authentication still pending) Falling for the old Joy buzzer gag, a record nineteen time in row. Walker was challenged (A phrase often used when discussing his intellect.) by his opponent Ralph Warnock to a debate in Macon. Walker immediately disputed the very existence of Macon as a place saying. He’s never even heard of Macon, except maybe a Macon, Lettuce and Tomato sandwich.

The smart money has prognosticated and decided, the smart money is going to stay home. Apparently, the people who normally write big checks, see it as throwing good money after bad and pissing it down a rat hole.

Take two

You say you want a revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
You tell me that it’s evolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world

But when you talk about destruction
Don’t you know that you can count me out

Don’t you know it’s gonna be
All right?
Don’t you know it’s gonna be (all right)
Don’t you know it’s gonna be (all right)

You say you got a real solution
Well, you know
We’d all love to see the plan
You ask me for a contribution
Well, you know
We’re all doing what we can

But if you want money for people with minds that hate
All I can tell you is brother you have to wait

Don’t you know it’s gonna be (all right)
Don’t you know it’s gonna be (all right)
Don’t you know it’s gonna be (all right)

You say you’ll change the constitution
Well, you know
We’d all love to change your head
You tell me it’s the institution
Well, you know
You better free your mind instead

But if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao
You ain’t going to make it with anyone anyhow

Lennon- McCartney

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