Holiday Edition

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

It is the point in the war picture, where the ships gone down and the sailors are in the water. Clinging to a raft in the ocean swells as the fins begin to appear and sailors begin to disappear, one by one. “Hey, where’s Rudy? Rudy! Rudy! Where’s John Eastman? Johnny!” Lindsey Graham shouts, “Something just brushed my leg!” That moment of truth.

The eternal search for truth, as the vagabond preacher asked the Pilate, “What is truth?” Pilate answered, “The subject for today is carpentry and not philosophy.” It is time for some truth in a time of lies, redefining the new normal!

Rudy (it’s five o’clock somewhere) told the judge in the Georgia election fraud case through his attorney. That the poor old guy was way too sick to travel by air to Atlanta. The judge responded, he better hop a train or hire an Uber. She ain’t playing any games here. And on the day in question, Rudy enters the court room unassisted, (sober) and looking fit.  Playtime is over, this is the lightening round for all the marbles and your freedom too.

The Chiller from Wasilla, Nanooki of the North, whose career was last seen foundering and in trouble on the stormy seas of slurred speech and Jack Daniels. Poor ole Sarah Palin was handed an appropriate cold truth by the voters of Alaska. Now it’s official, Sarah Palin is a three-time loser. Having quit once and been booted twice. The thing that wouldn’t leave.

You just have to smile reminiscing over the good ole days. Sarah answering questions, while the farmer behind her grinds off the heads of turkeys. Or the stunned look on her face, with the theme from “Chariots of Fire” playing, when asked what newspapers she read. (Shit! We didn’t practice that one!) It’s a trick question. Anything not prepared for in advance is a trick question (Just like in North Korea).

But the truth was served to her as a warning and a harbinger of bad things to come for the Republicans. This congressional seat has been a granite rock solid Republican seat for fifty years. It is possible the Republican’s could have won this election simply by running a candidate called “Not” Sarah Palin! Then have the Governor appoint someone by lottery. Anyone except, you know who. She literally just lost a political race with herself.

The voter’s spoke and they said, “Anyone one but you! Even a Democrat! We didn’t want to do it, but you forced our hand. No, no, no!” You would have thought that Alaska’s ranked choice voting would have helped Sarah Palin, but it didn’t. They would have rather elected a polar bear first.

But what does this mean for Republicans in the less red states? Where the voters regularly vote for Democrats anyway. I’ll tell you what it means…It means the Safaris are tuning up to play Wipeout! Republican candidates complain the national Party isn’t coming across with the bucks.

The Party replies, that’s cause there aren’t any. Something about trying overthrow the government in a bloody insurrection, that has chilled corporate donations. Plus, there is a hole in the Party’s arm where all the money goes.

But the buck stops here! The Republican Party has notified Lord Twump in writing, that they won’t be bankrolling his legal defense for any of his Doc-u-gate crimes. The Party will only defend his crimes while he was in office. Any crimes that came after that are on his own dime.

Boy, I would have given anything to have been a fly on the wall of that Mar-A-Lago mausoleum, when the cops pulled up. ”What? Who? Now? Malaria! Hide the weed!” The look on Twump’s face when the cops served the warrant like the Grateful Dead in New Orleans. Not once, not twice but thrice, the Feds had gone to the Twumper bunker looking for stolen documents.

Doc-u-gate started almost as a speeding ticket. If you don’t return those documents, you will no longer be allowed to check out books or DVDs from the Library of Congress. Rather quickly, it has pushed itself to the head of the class. And in just a few days, the conversation has moved from “If” they ever indict Donald Twump. To the best time to indict Donald Twump. And that time is thought to be immediately following the mid-term elections. Truth in a time of lies.

That’s why Lindsey Graham ran to Faux Snooze, howling like his nut sack was caught in his garter belt. “Blood in the Streets! Rise children! It’s time! Time for the Zombie apocalypse! If you try to prosecute me or my friends! You’re gonna get it. I’ll have my moron Army rip this place apart.” Words spoken by Lindsey Graham but authored by Donald Twump. As Graham hasn’t any mutant moron, Army. Twump does, threatening America and now, America threatens him back.

It wasn’t enough that Twump intentionally lied and made false claims about all those stolen documents. Now reports emerge, he may have more documents hidden at other properties or that he might have already sold some of the documents and or given them away. His attorneys signed off on yet one more Twump legal fraud. And now, Twump Attorneys might now need attorneys.

Burning Man, the legal edition! Thousands of lawyers gathering in the desert to reflect and contemplate on their own personal exposure to Donald Twump’s felonies.

The truth hurts, but the truth shall set you free. Twump’s Twuth, his failing social media site. Is being dropped by Google play for violations of their terms of service. Dairy Farmer and CEO for Twump’s Twuth, Devin Nunes calls Google a monopoly because Apple hasn’t dropped them yet, but they will. Profiles calling for violence and advocating crazy conspiracy theories that would make Alex Jones blush. They’ve been dropped like a dirty toilet brush.

Unfair, you can’t do that to us! Look here Buddy, If I want a Gay wedding cake from your bakery you gotta bake it for me, understand?

Twump was originally bounced from social media sites for the same charges of advocating for violence and will be dropped again for the same reasons. And this will only hasten the demise of Twump’s Twuth.

The question of “if” has now been answered affirmatively. The question of “when” is in November. The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade will feature a frog march and bracelet parade to the tune of “I fought the Law and the Law Won.” And Christmas will be coming a little early this year children! So, mark your calendars! The last time I was this excited about the holidays; I got a Ten-speed bike.

“Ho, ho, ho Merry Christmas!”

“Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run, but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant.”
― Hunter S. Thompson

Special holiday interactive edition. For best results, play music while reading. Adding just a touch of holiday madness

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