Trollope Troll Teases for Trump

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

Kelly Anne Conway (The reason you always cover a petri dish) appeared on CBS because obviously, it was slow news day.  Her message was clear and filled with those little alternative facts, we’ve all  grown so fond of. Donald Trump is busting his bustle, anxious to announce his candidacy for the Presidency.

The obvious question which was never asked, of course was, “what’s stopping him?” If he wants to announce, then announce already big boy. Trump wants the publicity benefits of announcing (Boy, he can hardly wait!) without the trouble and tribulation of actually announcing.

The national Republican Party is picking up much of Trump’s legal expenses and the day he announces his candidacy, that ends. If Trump announces, he swamps all the Republican candidates he’s been campaigning for. They won’t invite him anymore.

Brand wise, the Trump brand is getting mighty thin and frayed around the edges. The Trump CFO is looking at hard time; his children have abandoned him and even his wife calls him an idiot. Oh, poor, poor, Palagi. Longing to announce, while secretly desiring not too.

The blood drains from the faces of Stockholm syndrome Republicans. “Yes (no please! No!) We are all very excited (Terrified) by your upcoming announcement. We know with you in the race (We’re doomed!) we will win a clear, clear victory! (Brutal defeat) You will unify the party (Finish destroying) and we will all come together in a unified theory of societal craziness.

Greg (Bubba) Abbott has been the governor of Texas for eight years now. But in his recent debate, invoked the name of Joe Biden over a dozen times as the source of all troubles in just the first ten minutes. But Joe Biden has only been the President for two years. And if Bubba can’t handle Joe now, why elect Bubba again and subject him to a repeated failure?

It’s all Biden fault anyway, so why would you elect someone who claims to be powerless against him? Resorting to cruel stunts to amuse and distract the penny stinkers. Spending four billion tax dollars billeting the National Guard, keeping the Days Inn and La Quinta, safe for democracy.

“Okay, you two. It’s your turn to go sit in the car for eight hours.”

Odd that Kelly Anne should be asked to appear in anything, other than a remember when story. She was on the “no, no” list, during her time in the White House. The true believers list, the non-reality speaker’s bureau. She’s done nothing newsworthy and nothing to change that. She’s had no recent domestic disputes with her children. She isn’t even pimping a new book.

Just good-natured Kelly Anne, out to tell America that Donald Trump is thinking about them. And he’d be here himself, if he could. He really would. He really wants to announce his candidacy. He really does, but he can’t right now, but he really, really wants too.

It’s the organ grinder and the monkey scenario. Only the monkey claims not to know the organ grinder put her up to it. “I’m just here because I thought America, would like to know! And CBS has graciously given me the ridiculously valuable airtime, so I that might tell you Donald Trump still loves you.

He’s comin back you know, He wants his old job back. Only this time forever!

It makes you think of all the times you’ve ever gotten in trouble at work and thought, “It was never for anything this bad. Giving an unhinged, partisan lunatic three minutes to talk trash on national television. What were they thinking? “Oh, maybe she’s learned her lesson by now?” What was the purpose of that segment?

All media has a purpose. You don’t do a story about cowboys and then throw in a segment on flower arranging. What part of the mosaic was Kelly Anne supposed to be filling? How does her interview fit in with today’s go, go modern world?

“We have with us a special guest today, She’s unemployed and hasn’t done anything especially noteworthy in several years now. She hasn’t written a book or appeared in any block buster films. She’s a former Presidential assistant and she has some sort of message or other for us, though I have no idea what it could be.”

Speaking through surrogates, silenced by time. “He’s coming back you know. Don’t give up hope. Magic happens all the time, but you just gotta believe in Tinkerbelle.

But it is a historical similarity that while the Russian army and dreams of empire corrode on the fields of Ukraine, the Trump dreams of empire also corrode and rust in marshes of Mir-A-Lago. He’s only a viable candidate until he announces and from then on, he has to prove it. I dunno about you, but I wouldn’t buy any Real Estate between Trump claims and Trump deliveries.

It’s like one of those old batman serials, “How will Batman ever escape this week!” From the evil tax audit! The menacing and maniacal stolen secret documents case! The voter fraud case in Georgia or everyone’s favorite, inciting a riot and sedition! Stay tuned: Same bat time, same bat channel!

But anyone who has ever seen the film “Sink the Bismark” knows exactly how this is gonna end. They’re going to sink the Bismark. Not maybe or it’s highly likely, they’re gonna sink the Bismark. They are going to circle him with ships and fire legal salvos, until he turns turtle. They are way past the point of giving up here and saying, “Oh well, never mind.”

Everyone in the Republican Party knows this will happen. Or know, it’s happening now. They are frozen silent they speak no evil of the king, though they all wish that he were gone and this were all over. His announcement spoils everyone’s supper, especially his own. So, he gets surrogates to eat it for him and pass it around.

A Trump indictment between now and election day 2024, will set the Republican Party into a polarized frenzy of self-destruction.  “Pro Trump” or “No Trump?” Guilty or not guilty? Forget OJ Simpson, stand and deliver, Mofo! Who’s the leader of the club that’s made for you and me? That dirty no good rotten FBI is picking on Trump, for the least little felonies.

The day of reckoning, the day when the Republicans must reveal their true feelings for their fuhrer, just weeks before election day.

“I never like to talk bad about Republicans. I just talk about Republicans, and the bad speaks for itself.”

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