You’re Going to Out Smart Us Again

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

Millions and millions of snow crabs are missing. If you took them, this is your last chance to put them back before we get the cops involved. A 90% drop in the population, nine out of ten snow crabs are MIA and not at Red Lobster. It’s possible that they’ve moved, without leaving a forwarding address. The water gets warmer, the snow crabs walk away to a nice cold place in the suburbs.

But when I first read this, I remembered the collapse of the cod schools off the Canadian Atlantic coast, when I was but a lad. One year the fishing fleet sailed out and the fish were just gone. Fished until the school could no longer replenish itself.

Either way the crabs are trying to tell us something. (aren’t crabs always) Either climate dislocation or climate decimation. Just put it on the pile with the forest fires and the hurricanes. The droughts and the floods. Did you know, The Great Salt Lake isn’t so great anymore? It’s drying up and will be gone one day soon. Part of the lake has already turned toxic and no longer supports life.

When the salt lake is gone, what will Salt Lake City do? Will they be forced to change their name? Salt Flat City? Alkali Heights? Arsenic, Utah or maybe Heavy Metal, Utah. Under the lake hiding for millions and millions of years. Lay arsenic and heavy metals in the soil kept in place, by putting a very large lake on top of them. But soon, the poisons will take to the breeze.

“If you lived here, you’d be thirsty by now!”

Utah is doing all they can to make the water supply stretch. But not enough water is not enough water, isn’t it? You can’t really ration not enough. The Mayans led the ancient world in crop irrigation, but once it stopped raining altogether. The fatal flaw in the irrigation water management system, became apparent.  

The planet is littered with cities made no longer inhabitable by the environment. There was never any serious thought put into rebuilding Pompei. It was universally accepted as a poor building site for many reasons, for a long, long time. Caught between what lies below you and what awaits above.

Did you happen to see the end of the People’s Party Congress in China? It was a real barn burner; I know a lot of you probably missed it what with football and election season. But the former Chinese President, Mr. Hu was told it was time to go. Come on gather up your stuff dude, you’re leaving! Your Uber is here. There is one too many of us in the room, and we think it’s you!

Apparently, this came as quite a shock to Mr. Hu, and he was caught unprepared and did not want to leave. Holding on to the table and being physically removed from his seat.

Pleading his case to any who would listen, like Abe Vigoda in “The Godfather.” All I could think of was how much I’d like to see something like that done in this country. “Come on there fella with the hair-colored yellow, that’s enough out of you now.”

But I want to go to Mir-A-Lago! Take your hands off me! Where are you taking me? But I’m still the President, let go of me! Let’s see; Steve (home for fleas) Bannon got four months in the pokie. How much time would a former President get?

“Breaking rocks in the hot sun, I fought the law and the law won.”

You know, If Trump is charged and convicted and sentenced to serve out a term at the Maxwell Air Force base minimum security prison. Trump would be the first President to reside in Montgomery, since Jefferson Davis.

Now Mr. Trump, in his game of subterfuge has signed and or affirmed, that he had returned all the documents. Lying on a government form is worse than stealing a pen from the Post Office. They are serious, a government of the people and by the people and for the people, know us people well enough to know. If they don’t burn you for lying on a government form, everyone will lie on every government form.

It seems the United States, and China have many problems in common, water and crooked politicians being two of them. China has built the Three Gorges dam. It’s the largest and most expensive hydroelectric dam in the world. Its size makes it a tourist attraction all by itself. People come from miles around to see and gawk at the dam and maybe spend the night at a hotel and buy a tee shirt. (I got wet and this crappy tee shirt at the Three Gorges Dam.)

But like the Western, United States, China is also suffering through a severe drought. The Three Gorges Dam is running at 27% of its electrical potential. The source of the water for the dam beside rainfall is from snow melt from the glaciers high up in the Himalayas. Glaciers rapidly retreating and expected to be gone in the next twenty years. And someday soon, they will come to visit the Three Gorges dam. To gawk in amazement at the largest and most expensive hydroelectric dam ever built in the middle of a desert!

It won’t be long before election will be upon us. When I heard this, it made me feel so much better that I could sleep soundly at night. Republicans, conservatives, and paranoids everywhere, have a developed a clever new strategy to fight voting irregularities. If you have received an early ballot…don’t turn it in, until the very last day!

Those lying cheating and stealing Democrats, need to know how many phony votes they have to come up with to steal the election! See; the Republicans never figured on the Democrats counting how many Republicans are registered in the district.

But if Republicans wait until the very last day and the last hour? Then the Democrats can’t cheat. But many of the Republicans will forget to vote entirely. And many will find that early ballot on the table by the front door or on the front seat of the car on Wednesday morning.

I know when I got my early ballot; it stared back at me from the table. Each time I walked past it said, “Now?” How long are you going to let this important task just sit here? Don’t fool around and let time slip away from you…do it now! So, I did, and then I read the instructions twice, just to make sure I was doing it right. Then I went online and found a drop box location and made special trip. I felt better walking back to my car, I wasn’t about to screw around and forget to get this done.

But you Republicans, You go ahead and do what your heart tells you. If you think it’s a good idea to wait to vote until the very, very last minute. And trust that your memory won’t fail, and you won’t forget or you won’t be too busy. (Is today Tuesday?) I’ll back you on that idea 100%! That’s some shrewd thinking there! Boy, oh boy; I can see it now, you’re going to outsmart us again.

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