On Your Way to the Windshield

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

Fascism requires an enemy. It doesn’t work without a lacky or a whipping boy. Some group of people, not too large of course. But large enough, so that you can pick them out and everyone understands who you mean. Because they are only identified for the time being at least, by euphemisms publicly. It really doesn’t matter who or what this group is or is alleged to do or to have done.

They just take a generic figure like a department store manikin, and they dress it up in crime or subterfuge. You know, that George Soro’s is really amazing. A man at his age, and according to what Republicans say about him must work eighty hours a week! He’s right up there with the Joker, Hannibal or Lex Luther. An old man working like that makes Tom Brady look lazy.

The name of the game is to focus on emotional hot-button issues. Here in the land of AZ, that means protecting your 2nd Amendment rights! A low cost, low obligation political promise, easy enough to keep. Seeing as how we haven’t lost any of the first ten amendments, so far. It is pretty safe to assume in four years from today the 2nd amendment will still be with us, with or without Republican support. In fact, I’d be willing to bet money on it.

Of course, immigration is the ultimate hot-button issue. They aren’t just poor, desperate people struggling under poverty and oppressive conditions. And willing to do anything for a chance to come here. They must be vilified, just as my ancestors were and probably yours as well.

They are gang members carrying iron pipes and bags of drugs. They want your job as a systems analyst, and they want to date your daughter. They want to take what you got! Take it all away from you!

Emigrants only becomes role models in America, after they have invented the helicopter or become an auto tycoon.

Who will protect you? You poor hard-working, long-suffering, poorly educated Americans. The very salt of the earth! With taffy pulls and barbershop quartets. Picnics with puppies playing under red wagons, with two praying hands from sea to shining sea. Nixon’s silent majority, Falwell’s moral majority and Johnson’s nabobs of negativism.

Back when car airbags were a new idea, resisted for about ten years by the auto industry. The fear campaign said, those air bags were dangerous. Why, if one of those things went off…you could lose your hearing. Dangerous man, those things go off so violently, you could really get hurt bad. You don’t want any of those things in your car.

My wicked stepmother told me she was afraid of airbags. I told her don’t wreck the car and you won’t have a problem. Be careful on tall ladders, and you won’t have to worry about falling so much. As awful as a face full of airbag sounds, it is still sounds better than taking a bite out of the steering wheel on your way to the windshield.

But maybe if we can convince enough people that they don’t want airbags. Congress won’t pass a law mandating them, saving us millions. Maybe, if you don’t like public schools and don’t like paying taxes to support them. Maybe the best thing to do is to somehow convince people that they are bad places, and they don’t like them either.

Filled with dirty books and dirty ideas. Why, they’re indoctrinating our children! What chance does a defenseless parent stand against the lure of  comic books, television and the soft rock and roll styling’s of Hall & Oates? When everybody is out to get us!

It was a few years ago, I’d read about a trend among middle schoolers of trading and exchanging, little wrist bands. (brightly colored glorified rubber bands) The more you had meant the more popular you were, so important at that age. But somehow, somehow.

Conservative media picked up on the trend and surmised that each rubber band represented the performance of a sexual act. And each color, represented a specific sexual act performed. And so little boys and little girls came home after school and were grounded, and had their rubber bands confiscated. Wondering, if mom was drinking again. (the popular children suffered the worst)

Making villains of their own children. But then again, we don’t really know children, do we? Hollywood tells us they are much cleverer than we give them credit for! Always up to something and usually no good. They hack computers and could start world wars. You gotta watch them kids. (Hey Punk, I said stay off my lawn) With their raccoon coats and their ukuleles and their rumble seats and hip flasks and all.

After Roe, the plan is to go after birth control. It’s dangerous and bad for a woman’s health. And you really shouldn’t do it anymore if you really care about your health. Oh, what horrors it does to a woman’s body, it effects the Kerfuffler levels and upsets the Rybitiods in the Heinous Major.

Ignoring that outside of eating a steering wheel on your way to the windshield. Pregnancy is the greatest threat to a woman’s health outside of Grisly bear wrestling covered in honey.

But there is one enemy that outshines all the rest. He’s working on bad stuff, while you’re still lying-in bed sleeping. He drives a Tesla you know. You know what that means…he’s a Liberal. And that means you can’t trust his medical opinion, he’s up to no good! He disagreed with Donald Trump and did it right out in front of him! The nerve! Where does he get off disagreeing with the President?

If the President says, “Stick a lightbulb up your ass or gargle Clorox.” You say, “Yes sir! What wattage sir or how much?”

Anthony Fauci is America’s favorite Goldstein. Beloved enemy hated by one and all Republicans alike. As seen in many a Faux News {Exclusive} Exposé. Inconveniencing people with mask mandates for the sake of a worldwide pandemic. Senselessly shutting down honest, hardworking multinational corporations, all for the sake of a few low-level workers and old people’s health issues.

He’s the boogie man! Maybe if we tell people how awful he is, maybe they will stop listing to him. You know those vaccines aren’t 100% effective, don’t you, like a condom or a parachute are!

They could go to give you that shot and miss! Sticking you with that needle right in your eye. Is that what you want? Is that how you want to spend your last minutes on earth? Squirming on the floor of the Walgreen’s clinic with a needle full of Dr. Fauci’s monster serum stuck your eye?

Dr. Fauci is retiring, but Steve Bannon threatens his vengeance anyway, if the Republicans take control of the Congress. Another prime facet of Fascism. Vengeance, somebody done something and now we’re out to settle the score. Make us where masks for our own good, will ya! And letting transsexuals use whatever restroom they want down to the Walmart, will you!

Just wait, until we get our hands on you! “The Monsters are Due on Maple Street.”

“The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices to be found only in the minds of men. For the record, prejudices can kill, and suspicion can destroy, and a thoughtless frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all of its own for the children, and the children yet unborn. And the pity of it is that these things cannot be confined to the Twilight Zone.” – Rod Serling

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s