The Yankees are Comin!

By David Glenn Cox

They are a biproduct of their own success. The dark back side of that prosperity thing. Many years ago, after escaping Montgomery, Alabama, in a rented Ryder truck with a wife and two small children. I set up a permanent base camp outside of Atlanta. Being the “New” people and from out of town, one of the first things I learned there was that Atlanta is/was a boom town.

It had exploded in population to the point where a Native Atlantean became a hard commodity to find. The city attracted the outcast and the Avant Garde and the National Corporate Headquarters. Until finally, Atlanta became that big blue spot on the map, that we all know and love today. Tucked neatly into bloody red Georgia. My typical Atlanta neighborhood had a Texan and a family from California and another from Connecticut, a Jamaican, Illinois and so forth and so on.

Many were from the surrounding areas, young people anxious to trade the rural small-town life for big city wages. Ready to shake the dust off their feet from this crummy little backwater bigoted town. For those of us young and trapped in Montgomery. It was Montgomery’s TWO Interstate highways, (No Waiting) which gave us comfort and reminded us locals, that all four directions on the compass were immediately available at any time. 

Plus, we had the added benefit and built-in advantage that in choosing any one of those four directions available, you’re still probably going to be better off than if you stay here.

So, the candles and campfires are burning late into the night at the Honeycomb hideout of the Arizona Republican’s and Kari Lake. They are going to crank up their “We was robbed! Again! Can you believe it? (No!) Again!” WHAAAAAA, 2022!

But this time down the cul-de-sac there is a new wrinkle. Liz Harris, a Republican from the East Valley, is refusing to serve or vote until the 2022 election is completely redone. Harris won her own race, but naturally assumes cheating as the cause of all the other Republican losses. And it was a clean sweep too!

Kari Lake lost (Governor) but don’t say anything around her that might upset her, okay? Blake (Elephant Man) Masters lost (Senate) and Mark (Hang em high) Finchem also lost. (Attorney General)  

But how could this be happening to us? This has never happened before; the Democrats must be cheating or something! Yeah, that must be the answer. It couldn’t be because Kari Lake told the John McCain Republican’s to get the hell out of her Party. Because she didn’t want them hanging around and cluttering up the place.

And she planned on fixing them to make them better right after the election. And teach them the error of their ways. That was the plan, until she was cheated and robbed…yet again!

A ballot counting machine breakdown led voters to placing their ballots in a secure locked ballot box, until the machine could be repaired. When the machine went back online an hour later, the ballots were publicly witnessed being put through the scanning machine.

The ballots had never left the room and never left the sight of a half dozen witness, both Republicans and Democrats. And there was a numbered seal placed on the ballot box. This is what they hang their hopes on.

Blake Masters conceded his race with an old-fashioned congratulatory phone call to the victor Mark Kelly. How refreshing, apparently you can’t tell a book by its cover.

But according to Kari Lake and friends if anything occurs. If any machine breaks down or any pen stops giving ink. That is grounds for a whole new election. And if a machine does break down and it causes long lines or causes voters to become discouraged or to turn away. Then, that candidate is due an entire new election!

“Did you see that gymnasium? There must have been three light bulbs burned out!  You just can’t get a fair election in this state! The FIX is obviously in!

It’s showtime! There is no justification other than making a show. The third recount of Arizona votes in 2020 netted Joe Biden around a few hundred votes or so. The chances a recount will come up with 18,000 votes necessary for Kari Lake are nil. That’s why she’s hired lawyers! She has no legal case for malfeasance and no hope for a recount.

The goal is to fight, fight, fight just as hard as they can for as long as they can, to keep Kari Lake’s name relevant in the minds of Republican voters. Lake is running for, running for election on the victim party ticket. Whaaaa!

In a similar vein, The producers of the film Avatar (The black light movie poster movie) are releasing a sequel. The original film featured groundbreaking computer animation and 3D graphics never seen before twenty years ago.

The new film features even more outlandish and absurd opium fantasies. Sure, they fly around on birds (But only if the bird really likes you!) and they can hold their breath underwater for hours until it’s a live action comic book. The plot was dreamed up by middle schoolers with a twelve pack of beer, a quarter ounce of Maui Wowie and a bong.

The primary attraction to the original film was the graphics and 3D animation. The plot was almost an afterthought. “Oh yeah, right, we do need one of those, don’t we?” Unless the producers have developed even better groundbreaking and even more eye-popping graphics and visuals. I question the viability of the project to break even. The audience has already seen it all before. (Anyone ready for another Jurassic Park sequel yet?)

Kari Lake is tying herself to corpse of Donald Trump’s political career. She has crossed the Rubicon and unfurled her standard of contrariness. Yeah, that’s right. It wasn’t just Donald Trump that got robbed! It was Me too!  The unified front of election deniers.

Lake’s secret dream was to become the Arizona Governor for two or six years, and then be tapped to run for Vice President. She’s the Republican wet dream candidate! Lake was vicious, heartless, White and snarky as hell. she had it all! But the best laid plans huh?

This is their plan for 2024. The aggrieved Party. The Trump Party. The “Whaaa, it ain’t fair Party!” The conspiracy and hard liquor Party.

They just can’t figure out how Arizona could go Blue like that. The Democrats must be cheating or something. It couldn’t be the hundreds of thousands of tract houses built in Arizona over the last twenty years or the Golf Clubs or the hundreds of new retirement communities, could it?

Well of course the Republicans already know that’s the real reason why they lost those elections. Or as we used to say down south, “The Yankees are coming! And this time they’re comin to stay!”  But the Republicans would rather just claim that they’d been cheated again and make a little show of it.

It’s not unlike the revival of “West Side Story” or the film version of “Cats.” The audience has already seen it and heard it all before. And the chances that plan will succeed a second time after it didn’t work the first time, are slim and none. And Slim’s out of town.

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