Monkey See, Monkey Do!

By David Glenn Cox

And so today I rise, to refuse to certify the very same elections I oversaw as your County Supervisor. And even though, I helped to facilitate the elections and count the votes from the election. I refuse to certify the totals from the election simply because my preferred candidate lost! So there!

It is the political equivalent of holding your breath until you turn blue. Or throwing yourself on the ground kicking and screaming and thrashing your body violently about. “I’ll show you! Look what you’ve done now! You’ve upset them!  Why it’ll probably be another month before they’ll even answer the dang phone again. You know how skittish they are! And you just come in here and blurt out “They Lost!” you heartless bastard!

The political equivalent of “Nah, nah ne nah, nah!” The Boy Who Cried Wolf – Now in 3D! If I didn’t win, it must be unfair. Pure Trumpism 101, if I don’t get my way, then I’ll take a big shit all over you. Exhibit Trump’s Supreme Court that he likes to brag on from time to time. Voting against him and now they’re all immediately labeled as a bunch of no-good hacks. But the streets of New York and Washington DC are paved with the corpses of those whom Trump has thrown under the bus.

It would be easier to compile a full listing of those Trump hasn’t thrown under the bus… yet. There’s Malaria Trump, his wife and a couple of his kids. (but even these relationships appear to be strained) There’s a guard down at the main gate he’s partial to. That brings him cheeseburgers from time to time. And of course, there’s… Mike Lindell!

That’s the trouble with the boy who cried wolf strategy. The outrage and shock value fades a little each time you try to use it. By the second or third time you try. It no longer has the same effect and must be enhanced to be make it appear even plausible.

“We was robbed! And they did this, and they did this, and they did this too! Just you wait till next time! We’re watching you from now on! We’ll be everywhere! We’ll be in the parking lots watching the way people vote! And we’ll be in the polling places just watching YOU!

We’ve recruited an Army to just watch you!” And then, they lost the elections again anyway just the same as before. You don’t think they could be wrong, do you? They couldn’t be that wrong, could they? Could it really all be just a big bunch of lies?

Kari Lake has assembled a legal team to look for Arizona election irregularities. Already they have discovered dust and lint allowed to accumulate in the corners of THREE Arizona polling places! Styrofoam coffee cups were also found! Some with lipstick stains on the rim found left behind at two other polling places. No complaint is too small when playing monkey see, monkey do. So, Kari Lake looks down at her bracelet feeling of the embossed letters asking herself. (WWTD) What Would Trump Do?

Why, Trump would piss and moan and throw a shit fit like a six-year-old. About how everybody else in the whole wide world is a crook, except for him! From the baker to cop on the beat.

But the trouble is, that’s Donald Trump’s special power alone and it is non-transferable. (As November has recently proven) Just because the morons and simpletons out there believe the garbage coming out of Trump’s mouth. That doesn’t mean they are going to believe you, when you try it.

A ground swell of outrage as between 20 and 50 people protested Kari Lakes defeat in an electorate of over several millions. Statistically somewhere between .0001% of the voters and .0000% of the voters. But no one is calling her on her bullshit, but no one is taking her very seriously either.

Donald Trump still supports Kari lake and mentions her by name. That puts her in a very special category (One with its own special School Bus) of the rapidly shrinking circle of F.O.T. Friends of Trump. “Pssst, bring him a couple of cheeseburgers. He’ll love you!”

You awake to find yourself in a run-down mansion on Sunset Blvd. And Eric Von Stroheim is just explaining to you, why all the doorknobs have been removed. “Tommy, can you hear me? Can you feel me near you?” Pay no attention to the heavy artillery falling outside. We always get that this time of year at the Reich’s chancellery. You ask, “How did I get here?” But Stroheim only laughs and then mentions some song or other by the Eagles.

If they don’t certify the county votes. Then the county votes won’t be counted in the state’s totals. And because the county in question is a blood red Republican County. It means Republican Abe Hamadeh will lose his razor thin race. Once those blood red county votes are deleted from the state totals. Literally! Willing to cut off their noses and bring a Republican candidate down to his defeat, to spite their faces. Hamadeh done in and defeated by the election fraud of his own Party.

All you loyal Republicans out there, who camped out in parking lots or took the day off work to patrol polling places. Are you happy now? Because by not certifying the election it means that you all wasted your time. Took a day off from work for nothing! It doesn’t count. Your county will have no voice in state government whatsoever. Boy, you sure taught us a lesson!

But what will you do the next time around? When the vote totals, don’t agree with what your opinion says they oughta be. Will it become an official annual Republican exercise? The Queen, excuse me, the King opens Parliament and Republicans officially begin contesting the election results? And that means the holidays are on their way! The annual Macy’s Parade and the seasonal hiring of Attorneys.

They cannot accept two opposite realities at the same time. Trump told them he was cheated and they believed him. Because that’s what you do when you fall under the spell of an evil con man. But when Kari Lake tries it. They go along with it but don’t really believe it. They know what this is all about.

Monkey see, monkey do! This is about a snapping turtle snarling Tasmanian devil Republican candidate. Out to kick open doors and overthrow the tables. In an obvious attempt to curry favor with Trumpists and to feather her own nest. By pretending to kick open doors and overthrow tables, rather than just  admitting defeat.

But…it didn’t even work for Trump. It has had the opposite effect of marginalizing Trump. That ship has now sailed, and the tide is now filling in the bay. Trump is that former president now turned marginal Republican candidate. But his prior offices give Mr. Trump a wide latitude in choosing many of the Party functionaries. And Trump wants to choose Mike Lindell to run the next Republican Nation Convention. What could possibly go wrong, right?

Hey, sure he’s qualified. He sold millions of overpriced pillows to millions of undereducated morons, didn’t he?

Okay, Monday night: Donald Trump gives his opening remarks and Ron Desantis is given five minutes to speak after eleven o’clock. Tuesday: A review of Donald Trump’s greatness. A short time allotted so Mike Pence can speak, giving us all a built-in bathroom break! Wednesday will be a review of Tuesday! And Thursday will be a spectacular review of Wednesday. And Friday if all goes as planned Donald Trump will accept his nomination.

And they can’t hardly stop him either. It is one of those little unimportant, barely noticed jobs where the former President gets to choose. And he wants to choose Mike Lindell!

Who needs artificial comedy? When the organic is this good!

 “And maybe instead of chairs! Maybe the delegates could all sit on pillows on the floor!”

Enjoy your new school bus guys!

Herschel Walker recently said, “If the Democrats are in favor of allowing different Pronouns. To mark him down as being completely in the Anti-noun camp!”(source unverified)

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